Castiel (_angelofthelord) wrote, @ 2009-12-26 06:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | castiel, gabriel |
Larger than life is your fiction in a universe made up of one ( for Miko! <3 )
[ First of all, I want to dedicate this fic to my very good friend Miko. I was going to write you something else Supernatural related, but right now I'm drawing a blank. Maybe I'll come up with something semi-original for New Years! Until then, this'll just have to do. Normally I'd also include the Winchesters 'cause, hello! They represent us! But I've wrote plenty with them in it, and I'm sure I'll do plenty more. Possibly soon! 'Cause uh, even though this is kinda your Christmas present, it has nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever. It's just sorta hard to incorporate these guys into the holidays - 'these guys' as in anyone from Supernatural. Though the thought of maybe doing a 'one year later' style fic with the boys, Bobby, and Castiel could follow as a more holiday-ish part 2 ... xD
Secondly, have mercy on me! I wanted to write a Castiel/Gabriel fic but couldn't quite make up my mind about whether I wanted to do something action-y or just something that would give a little more depth to both the characters. I ended up choosing the latter due to my total lack of creativity when it comes to anything that requires a lot of movement/special effects. If you read, please be kind! They're both new for me and they're angels, which doesn't leave me a whole lot to work with. Plus it's 5:30 AM, and I'm too lazy to check for typos or do any tweaking. I might go back and make it better later. For right now though, it is what it is. Hope you enjoy it anyway if you suffer through it! <3 ]
Castiel had been prepared to die - to be smited down by one of his brethren due to his failure to obediently align himself with either side. He'd fought a fierce battle, but in the end his opponent had been too strong.
For a brief fleeting moment as he collapsed to his knees, his thoughts flashed to Dean and the difficult journey that lie ahead for the Winchesters who would have to face the uncertain future without him there to guide them. He prayed that God would help them find their way, for He was the only one who could end this once and for all and make everything right again.
... And then suddenly, he was someplace else entirely staring into the face of the last person he ever expected to see. "Gabriel." Castiel addressed the other stiffly, his voice containing a distinct disapproving understone although his countenance reflected complete neutrality and indifference.
"The one and only," Gabriel quipped.
Well, looky there. Cas wasn't happy to see him. Surprised, yes. Thrilled, no. Did that bother him? Not really. He was one of the go with the flow types, though ordinarily he was also the one controlling the flow. "Whew," he whistled as he started circling Castiel who seemed a smidge bit uneasy. "I gotta tell ya bro, you look like you just went twelve rounds in the ring with the heavyweight champion of the year." And lost. "That was some heavenly smackdown."
He was not amused by Gabriel's witty verbiage. There was nothing humourous about this situation. Therefore, he refused to engage in pointless banter and chose to propose a question instead, one he deemed pertinent. "Why?"
"Well, I was a little late to the party, but my guess would be that he doesn't like you very much." Since the guy had such a sparkling personality, it was hard to imagine why ... not!
Even though he was annoyed by the other's response, the only change in Castiel's demeanor was a slight stiffening of the jaw. "No. I mean why did you help me?" It had immediately been made clear that his estranged brother was not interested in helping anyone but himself, so why had he gotten involved? Why now? Why him?
Gabriel gave a dismissive shrug. "Wouldn't you like to know?" Lips curled up into a mischievous smirk as he let his eyebrows rise and fall twice. Though lo and behold, still no reaction from his far-too-serious counterpart. Oh, what the heck? He could give him a better answer than that ... sort of. "All right, fine. I was in the neighborhood."
"I find that hard to believe." Castiel was well aware that this was all just a game to the once highly revered angel of the Lord. To see what Gabriel had reduced himself to deeply saddened him. It was most troubling. Yet they didn't have time to go around recruiting others to join them. They were on a very important mission, and it was imperative that they remain on schedule as much as possible. The one standing before him had been given more than most. However, instead of using the gifts God had bestowed upon him, he'd chosen to parade around this Earth as a Pagan god, mocking the One who'd created him and all who'd once admired him and aspired to rise to his level of righteousness. Gabriel now prided himself off of the pain and discomfort of others, and for that, he could no longer be considered their brother. The judgement of mankind was not for them to decide, and it was certainly not something they were permitted to toy with for their own amusement.
"Is that any way to talk to the one who just saved your life?" Gabriel replied in mock offense.
Castiel's frown deepened. "You could save many more. You have that kind of power."
"True, I do. But obviously you didn't get my memo. I'm staying out of this one." And why shouldn't he? It's not like any of this was his fault. All he'd wanted was for everyone to just get along, but no such luck. So he'd bailed. So what?
It might have made sense to Gabriel, but he still did not understand. "How can you stand by and do nothing?"
Whoa ho, ho. Castiel wanted to go there? Okay then. "I'm taking a page from Daddy's book." There was the real expert on standing by and doing nothing as the world crumbled down all around them.
His gaze hardening, Castiel took a bold step forward, anger momentarily seeping into his tone. "Our Father made you an archangel."
"Yeah, and then he disappeared," Gabriel shot back. Needless to say, he was a little bitter about that. Everyone else was breaking the rules around here. Why was he being singled out? Castiel could take the moral high road all he wanted, but there were sooooo many flaws in the other angel's logic that it wouldn't take him any time at all to pick it all apart ( if he chose to stick around long enough to do that ).
"He created you. He gave you a purpose." Castiel could not fathom how Gabriel could justify his actions by comparing them to God's. It was common knowledge that the Lord works in mysterious ways. He had created them to serve Him, to carry out His will on Earth and in Heaven. Their orders didn't go away because their Father was off pursuing what was undoubtedly a worthy cause, even if they weren't made aware of what that cause was.
Castiel's faith had been shaken. He had doubts, but never about God.
Gabriel rolled his eyes. Maybe he was more affected by this little lecture than he was letting on, but there was no way he was ready to admit that to Cas. It'd been a long, long time since he'd leapt aboard the angel train. Simply put, this wasn't an overnight decision for him. He'd gotten comfortable with being the Trickster. It was a lot easier than being Gabriel the Archangel. So naturally, after all these centuries of masquerading behind his Trickster persona, he continued to prolong taking a stand ( one way or the other ). How'd he do that? By carrying on a conversation that was likely to get on the other's nerves before it was over and done with. Maybe then Castiel would be the one doing the leaving, and he wouldn't be pressured to do anything at all - not that he cared ... mostly. "You know, I asked around about you, Castiel. Heard some pretty interesting things."
"Such as?"
Hmm. Where to begin? How 'bout at the end ( in a matter of speaking )? That would be shaking things up a little. "Rumor has it that you got a visit from Raphael and that you two didn't exactly part on friendly terms." And, well ... let's put it this way: you didn't want to be on the receiving end of an archangel's wrath. The end result could always be described in one word: messy, so Gabriel was understandably curious as to how Castiel had come back from that.
He too had suffered because of the events leading up to the apocalypse. There were details he had not disclosed to anyone that were highly unpleasant to think about. One such event that had been considerably painful and frightening was when his body had exploded from the inside, scattering all over the room. Raphael had been merciless in his pursuit, and Castiel had been punished to the fullest. He remembered it all vividly, but he did not wish to confide in Gabriel about his feelings or describe the event that frankly had no bearing on what they were doing here whatsoever. Therefore, he responded vaguely with, "That is correct."
"They said you were dead," Gabriel added, lifting his brow inquisitively.
"I was."
Wow. That's it? That's all he was going to say about internally combusting? Not many could claim to have gone through something like that ( and lived to tell the tale ). "And yet here you are. How'd that happen?"
Castiel honestly didn't know, so he could offer no real explanation for his miraculous recovery. "I'm not sure."
"Really? Not even a clue?"
"I have a theory," Castiel admitted, although he didn't elaborate any further.
Aha! Thought so. "This ought to be good." Gabriel lifted his arms and folded them in front of him, expectantly waiting to hear this theory. Now if only the other would spit it out already. I swear, it was like pulling teeth. "Care to share with the class?" Nothing like leaving a fella hanging. And uh, no offense, but he didn't plan on wasting his entire day chatting with Castiel ( as intriguing as their conversation had been so far ).
Canting his head to the side, he stared challengingly at Gabriel. "Someone brought me back to life - pieced together my vessel and restored me, body and soul. Who do you know of that has that kind of power?" There were two possibilities - only two who could undo the work of an archangel. One he had already ruled out. "I saw Lucifer. We spoke briefly. It was not him." Which narrowed things considerably, not that he'd ever truly believed the devil would do him any favors. After all, he'd been the one to go down and retrieve Dean Winchester from the depths of Hell in order to stop Lucifer. Helping him would be counterproductive.
Gabriel got the message: it was ringing in loud and clear. Who had that kind of power? Well, duh! God. It hadn't been that long ...
For the first time since their little encounter began, all traces of humor faded from his ordinarily animated visage. If the rumors weren't true, if God was still alive and well and running around out there somewhere, things were bound to get a lot more complicated. It was weird that something as simple as an implication of their father's presence could put him in such a somber mood, but it did. Guess he wasn't as unflappable as he thought. As for that other thing ... "You talked to him, Lucifer?"
Castiel nodded, his expression blank.
"That must've been exciting. What'd you two crazy kids talk about?" Old times, the weather, the destruction of all mankind/the end of the world ... When he got no response, Gabriel piped up with an exasperated, "Come on, don't be such a wet blanket."
"Why are you still here?" Castiel inquired, growing increasingly impatient.
This guy really wasn't much for small talk, was he? "I heard something else, too. Is it true that you made the trip into the Pit and hauled Dean Winchester out of there yourself?" 'Cause even he had to admit that was pretty impressive. For Castiel to pull off a stunt like that would require some major mojo of the angelic variety, not to mention a whole heck of a lot of persistence.
There was an uneasy shift in his posture before he confirmed that he'd played a pivotal role in Dean's resurrection. "Yes, it is."
"Aren't you just full of surprises!" Gabriel emphatically exclaimed. Who would've thought that the one standing before him would go to such lengths to try and stop the apocalypse? He'd failed, but hey, he got points just for trying - granted it had been kind of naive for Castiel to think bringing Dean Winchester back from the grave would fix everything.
Shoving all that juicy information aside for just a moment, he concluded his mildly friendly interrogation with a jab. "Last question, I swear. Are you out of your ever loving mind?"
Castiel, with a defiant lift of his chin, retaliated with an indignant, "I could ask you the same thing." He resented Gabriel's impassivity regarding a matter that was extremely personal to him. This was their family that was dying. The other's apathy galled him more than it should, and his frustration as well as his disappointment was beginning to rise to the surface - an unfortunate side effect of spending so much time around humans. He had become aware of the many emotions that existed, and thus had started feeling more of them the longer he mingled with the mortals. In this particular moment, he was experiencing a high degree of irritation that arose from a sense of betrayal. "I've seen Lucifer's world - his vision for the future. We're not dealing with an angel anymore. We're dealing with the devil." The former messenger of the Lord's failure to care about the outcome of this war vexed him a great deal, and he had no intentions of hiding this fact any longer.
"You are possibly the most powerful of us all. You could help us protect the righteous and restore order, but you refuse." Instead of aiding those who were in desperate need of his assistance, Gabriel had created his own corner of the world and crawled into it like a coward. Selfishly he'd chosen to distance himself from the conflict and avoid all possible altercations that might result had he been devoted enough to stick around as the sparring continued and the war raged violently on.
Closing in the distance between them, Castiel, eyes narrowed, pointedly asked: "You think I enjoy watching our brothers and sisters destroy one another? Regardless of whether I choose to participate in this fight or not, it is happening. There is no hole in all creation large enough to hide in to escape that truth. What you've done is turn your back on your family." In Castiel's opinion, that made Gabriel no better than Lucifer. In time, he too would be just as callous and destructive as Satan himself. He closed with the following: "I might not have found our Father, not yet, but at least I'm trying to do something about what's happening." Which was more than he could say for some people in the room.
Having completed his tirade, Castiel felt there was one final declaration that needed to be acknowledged, so he reluctantly ( and perhaps against his better judgement ) made one small addition, the sentiment spoken quietly and with the utmost sincerity ( a complete contradiction to how he'd just been ). "Lucifer was not the only brother we mourned."
Castiel's righteous indignation had come across as annoying at first. Then it had become downright insulting. And now ...
As much as Gabriel despised having to admit it ( even if it was just to himself ), he finally felt remorse. He found himself suddenly desiring to seek penitence for his many misdeeds, whereas before he hadn't been the least bit concerned about his standing with God or his fellow angels. Maybe this was a sign that deep down he'd missed his family all along - yearned to be reunited with them, but never had the courage to sacrifice what he'd considered to be his own little perfect universe. Now he had arrived at an impasse. One of his brothers had identified him ... was looking to him to do the right thing. But how could he go back to what he'd once been after being someone else for so long? It felt like an eternity since he'd carried out any of his celestial duties. His divinity had been compromised, his virtue chipped away one immoral act at a time. What was left of the angel he used to be? Was salvation even an option on the table anymore?
A long, thoughtful pause was taken as his gaze trailed off to the side. Then, with a sigh, Gabriel returned his attention to Castiel, his disposition having changed entirely. "What is it you want from me?"
Hopeful that his words had made an impact, Castiel kept his advice clear and simple. "I want you to accept responsibility for your actions, acknowledge the error of your ways, and stand with us against Lucifer and his army." Perhaps he was asking too much, but he feared that if he did not press the issue now, Gabriel would lose interest and revert back to his previous ways.
"So basically you're asking me to turn from my wicked, wicked ways, repent, and throw my life on the line to try and stop something that's inevitable?" ... Just so he was sure he was understanding everything correctly.
"I'm asking you to remember who you are." He was not going to beg Gabriel to side with God. That should have been an instinctive choice on the other's behalf. Castiel was merely attempting to guide him back in their direction, for he had clearly lost his way.
It was amazing how a proclamation so basic in nature could go straight to a soul's core. It was especially baffling to Gabriel who'd had no qualms about his lack of participation in defending the angels and fighting alongside them until he'd been confronted about it. He was still a little apprehensive though, and because of that tiny shred of doubt that refused to let go of him, he made one last ditch effort to resist. "Tell you what, I'll consider it if you take a walk with me." And by 'walk,' he really meant a stroll through one of his homemade sets.
Castiel forlornly shook his head. "I have no time for your games. I must find the Winchesters. Lucifer could be closing in on them as we speak." He did not wish to discourage Gabriel from helping them, and by 'them,' he was referring to more than just himself and the two that had unintentionally started the apocalypse. Their brothers and sisters were dying by the dozens on a daily basis, and if there was even a chance that they could reduce the number of casualties somehow, Castiel was prepared to do everything he could, for they needed a large army - one made up of heavenly beings they could rely on. Would Gabriel be one of them?
"Fair enough. How 'bout this: I'll take you to them if you can convince me that your side is the right one." After all this talking, surely Castiel would be able to plead his case. Once Gabriel felt that he was laying it on a bit too thick, he'd throw in the towel. "Ready ... set ... go."
If that was what it took ...
Castiel described the dismemberment of the angels who had bravely gone with him when he'd laid seige to Hell. They'd sacrificed themselves for the greater good, marching to their deaths with their heads held high because they'd believed in what they were doing. He had been the sole survivor not because he was the strongest among them, but because he had the most faith. However, he had not escaped unscathed. What he had suffered down below was horrific and terrifying, even to an angel. The details of his confinement were compiled in a grisly tale that illuminated how dedicated he was - how loyal he remained, despite the brutal opposition delivered at the hands of his relentless opponents. He went on to describe how he too had made his fair share of mistakes and was currently cut off from Heaven and the power it provided him, but he continued pressing forward because he refused to give up hope. And how he'd knelt by the side of their slain brothers and sisters, savagely murdered because they also believed in what they were fighting for, and yet he refused to surrender. If they could face their doubts and overcome their fears, Gabriel could as well. But it was a choice - a choice only he could make for himself.
Apparently his never-before-spoken confessions which were both tremendously private and profound had helped persuade Gabriel to come back. He wanted to play an active role in the on-going battle of good verses evil. Only time would tell if that would be enough to save them all.