Whatever would I do without you?

Jack Nicholson uses his as a hat stand, Susan Sarandon keeps hers in her bathroom, and Russell Crowe keeps his in a chicken coop in australia because it increases the size of his hen's eggs. What's the worst you could possibly do? Plus we both know that if I am left to my own devices I will probably end up fed-exing it to a rotund american actor who I greatly admire.