Come melt into me; unleash the power of your destiny ( Ruby/Sam fanfic ) [ If some pieces of this don't make sense, it's because I stole a couple of things from the masterful mind of Miko to help set up the scene. So I've used a couple of her plot ideas - including Shawn healing Dean after the Hell Hounds come to collect and Ruby having lied about the whole Challenge thing applying to them both. Obviously, I also stole the entire character of Ruby, which I absolutely did not do proper justice. My deepest apologies for that. Another one of those pain-stakingly loud visions knocking around in my brain until I got rid of it in the form of writing. Forgive me.
Characters involved: Sam and Ruby Summary: Aftermath of Dean's death ... and resurrection Themes: secrets, broken trust, redemption, salvation ]
Why was it that every time she and Sam finally got a chance to talk alone, they always ended up having the same conversation? To be frank, she was getting a little tired of it. As usual, he was tearing into her about something that wasn't her fault to begin with, but apparently it made him feel better to have a place to target his rage. Well sorry buddy, hate to disappoint and all, but she would only take it for so long. "We're all on the same side here." Head canted to the side as arms were lifted to fold tightly across her chest - a pose she often took when she was agitated or highly annoyed.
Contrary to popular belief, he didn't enjoy having the same discussion over and over again, but obviously whenever he just said something once or twice, it went in one ear and out the other. Or maybe she just wasn't listening. Whatever the case, he didn't have the patience to have this same argument right now. He was supposed to be making a quick food run and getting back to his brother who a half hour ago didn't have the appetite he did now ... or even a heartbeat. Sure, Bobby was with him back at the hotel, so Sam knew he was being looked after, but still - it wasn't the same. He needed to be close to him now more than ever, and Ruby was interfering with that. Hell, if she had held up her end of the bargain, he would've never lost Dean in the first place. So was he angry? Absolutely. Now was not the time to try and plead her case, because he could care less. The image of Dean torn and bloody on the floor, lifeless, was still vividly etched in his mind, and it would be for an extremely long time. He'd just now changed his shirt - his other having been completely soaked in blood: Dean's blood. He'd also spent a good deal of time scrubbing the blood from his flesh, so yeah, he was a bit cranky right now. Grateful that his brother was okay, but not in the mood to be lied to any more - especially when the lie came from Ruby's mouth.
On the same side? Doubtful. This whole tragic scenario had proved one thing. "No, you're on my side, not ours. There's a difference." And while she might not understand what he meant by that, she would before they went their separate ways and never crossed paths again - if he had anything to say about it.
Was he serious? With the way Dean treated her, it was a miracle she hadn't skinned him alive.You know, peeled the flesh from his bones and all that typical demon stuff. Now Sam wanted her to play nice: stick her neck out to save a guy who could care less about whether he lived or died? That was absurd. "Your brother hasn't exactly been nice to me." The 'defense' for her actions was stated dryly.
"You're a demon! And you lied to us, over and over again." Why would Dean be nice to her? He'd been right all along. Maybe he could've laid off some of the name-calling, seeing as how it didn't accomplish anything but pissing Ruby off. But he hadn't been wrong about her being a liar and a back-stabber.
Ruby rolled her eyes. The demon thing again. How could two allegedly brilliant hunters be so close-minded? Yes, she had bent the truth a little on occasion, but she'd also come to their rescue more than once. If it weren't for her, they both would've been dead way before now. "I did not lie to you." On second thought ... she'd made an effort to be as honest as possible with Sam. But she had told him a fib or two. "Okay, maybe I did. But it was for your own good."
Right. For his own good. "Is that so?" When she nodded, he scoffed. Maybe she was convinced that she'd carried out her twisted version of doing the right thing, but he disagreed. She hadn't done anything but string them along for months with false promises she never intended to make good on. "Dean died. I was there. I watched it happen. Where the hell were you?" His temper flared just thinking about it. And now ... now she thought she could just stroll up to him and pretend that they were still a team? Forget it.
As if her being there would've affected the outcome - but she could understand why Sam would feel 'abandoned' by her absence in his greatest hour of need. Though while he was crying his adorable little eyes out, she'd been dealing with more important things. Such as ... "Locating Lillith."
Sam shook his head in sheer disbelief. "You're not even sorry." Maybe if she'd even pretended to be remotely interested in the fact that his brother had been clawed up and practically devoured by Hell Hounds, he could cut her some semblance of a break. But there was nothing there: no remorse whatsoever. So all his compassion had currently flown out the window - a trait she wasn't all that familiar with anyway, so it was fair.
"Why would I be sorry?" Deep down, she knew why. But if she went all soft and apologetic now, she'd appear weak - and that wasn't something she was going to allow to happen.
"For letting Dean get ripped to shreds!" His voice raised, as he all but shouted his reply. What a bitch.
"He made that deal all on his own, fair and square. It was time for him to pay up." She gave a small, nonchalant shrug of the shoulders to further demonstrate how much pity she didn't have for the elder Winchester, who from what she'd seen, had been nothing but trouble.
"You said you knew a way to save him." Yeah, they were back to that. And while his tone had been lowered considerably, he spoke through a clenched jaw - which was a clear indication that he was still furious.
"He's alive now." She didn't see what the big deal was. It wasn't as if he was still down for the count. He'd been dead what, five minutes? Okay, so maybe it'd been slightly longer than that. But come on - no harm no foul, right? They'd all come out on top. It just hadn't happened the way they expected.
"Yeah, no thanks to you," he replied bitterly.
"Don't be so melodramatic, Sam." He really did need to calm down, before he blew a gasket or something. - All right, so maybe she was also a little concerned that this would be the 'final straw' that broke all ties between her and Sam - not that she let any of her doubts leak to the surface. Her demeanor remained distant and somewhat icy - but not completely cold. What could she say? His temper tantrum was a little cute - and annoying.
"I believed you when you said you could help us, and look what happened." Maybe Dean was alive now, but he'd suffered tremendously before he died. God only knows what happened to him before Shawn brought him back. And it all happened because of a deal he'd made for Sam. Then, like a fool, he'd believed Ruby held the key to their salvation, but it'd all been a lie. Maybe if they hadn't wasted their time listening to her, they could've found another way. They could've prevented what'd happened - although the chances of that were slim. They'd searched every inch they could find.
"It could've been worse," she quipped. After all, Sam hadn't been touched. And Dean, well, he would be back to his old self soon enough. Too soon, in her opinion - an opinion she was sure was shared by many.
"Worse? No Ruby, I don't think so." That's it. He couldn't tolerate her callous remarks any longer. It was time to let go, for good. "You know what? I'm through second-guessing you. I don't know why you care so much about what happens to me or why you're supposedly fighting on our side, but seeing as how you refuse to tell me, I can't help you anymore." You want to know the funny part? He had wanted to help her. He'd always gotten the feeling that she needed something in particular, and that's why she'd come to him. She just couldn't set her pride aside long enough to come right out and ask for it, so she played these games and manipulated him to keep him depending on her - and therefore indebted to her. But he was tired of it. It wasn't getting either of them anywhere, and his loyalty rested solely with his brother who happened to hate her with a passion. He'd already tried to justify his dealings with Ruby - repeatedly, for that matter, but for what? For this? There was no pay-off, and they just couldn't do it anymore.
For a brief moment, he thought he caught a trace of emotion sweep across Ruby's face. Determining which emotion was practically impossible, because it was wiped clear again within a few seconds. Then she parted her lips to protest - as he figured she would. After all, she'd been working to achieve something, and he was undoubtedly botching up her plans. But he didn't let her get very far with her objection. "Look, I'm not going to go down this road with you again. Dean doesn't trust you, and neither do I."
Desperation. That was the emotion Sam had caught a quick glimpse of. It was the closest thing she had to fear. He couldn't back out. She needed him. A lot of people did, and she was supposed to guide him to where he needed to be. How was that supposed to happen if he shut her out? Sure, she could always suddenly appear wherever he and his pesky brother were working a case, but if he didn't listen to her, there would be no point. It was crucial that he do as she say. Her arms had uncrossed and now hung loosely at her sides, as she took a couple of bold steps forward to close in the small gap that remained between them. She peered up at him with the sincerest look she could muster, as she responded firmly with, "I have never done anything but protect you."
Standing there, staring down at her, it was easy to remember why he'd been so quick to believe her in the first place - aside from the fact that he'd been desperate. But nothing could erase what she'd done - or hadn't done. "Yeah, but you were ready to throw my brother to the wolves as long as you got what you wanted. It's just not going to work out." This was beginning to sound more and more like a break-up speech; it was time to do the actual walking away part. He didn't want to fight: he didn't want to yell or throw around accusations. He just wanted it done with. So without further ado, he turned. It was clear that she wasn't going to be the one to leave first.
"Sam, wait." When he didn't stop, she shot out a hand to latch onto his arm and stated more firmly. "I said wait!" She kept a tight grip on him until he finally turned; then she released him. So now he was waiting - waiting for her to say something: whatever she'd felt so inclined to say. She knew that this was crunch time - time to throw it all out there on the table. She couldn't toss around cryptic warnings any longer and then disappear. She couldn't dance around what she needed him to do or why. Because if he failed to complete this mission because they'd had a falling out, so much more would be lost than a little pride. "You really wanna know? Fine." The last word was spat more than spoken. Needless to say, she didn't like being so forthcoming with her information. "Lillith ... the new up and coming leader ... she's going to do more than paint the town red. She'll sweep through cities, destroying every single living soul within it until she gains full control. You are the only one who can stop her, and she knows that. That's why she's afraid of you."
"Afraid of me?" Somehow, he found that hard to believe - that some big bad would fear him. But he was beginning to understand that this Lillith chick was going to be a serious, on-going problem: one he was sure Dean would be itching to handle once he'd had time to recooperate ... and Sam would see to it that an adequate 'resting period' was taken, whether his brother liked it or not.
"Afraid of what you can do. She knows you're special, Sam." Ugh, mortals. So thick-headed. Why was it so hard to get through that dim-witted head of his that he was a force to be reckoned with? Especially given the right circumstances and maybe a little practice ... anything was possible.
"Right, the psychic thing. That's been gone ever since Yellow-Eyes died." Now maybe he was the one lying. He'd had a few, but they were just nightmares: not visions. Technically, he didn't know if it was 'foreseeing' anything, or just seeing his worst fears played out in front of his eyes while he slept. Besides, it hadn't happened in a long time. No reason to mention it.
"Not gone, dormant. It's still there, just below the surface. It's part of what defines you - makes you so powerful. Yellow-Eyes knew it. He saw that you were different, and he recognized your worth. That's why he liked you so much."
A skeptical brow was raised. "Liked me? He sure had a funny way of showing it." Somehow, killing all the people he cared about didn't exactly convey that message - even though the YED had expressed favoritism. How sincere his claims were though remained a mystery.
"You think he would've gone through all that trouble for anyone else? I get that you didn't like him because of what he did to your family, but he didn't see it the way you do. He saw it as taking the necessary steps to prepare you for what was coming. Why do you think he never killed Dean? After all, he killed everyone else. He wanted something to hold over you, Sam: leverage. He wanted you to embrace who you are, but he also wanted to keep you under his thumb. But more importantly, he wanted you on his side." Like it or not, everything she was saying now was pure truth. None of it should really come as a shock, although knowing Sam, he'd play all dumb and make her elaborate even more ... just for kicks. He had a real knack for doing that: being all ignorant when it would inconvenience her the most.
If he hadn't heard it all before, he would've been more hesitant to buy into her whole theory. But nothing she'd said hadn't occurred to him already. Though why she was telling him this now, he wasn't sure. He wasn't getting the connection between Yellow-Eyes and Lillith: or how Ruby tied into either. "Why?" The single word suspiciously spilled from his lips. Why would Yellow-Eyes care. He managed fine on his own.
"He knew he'd have some competition and that you were the only one who could help him out with that. If you were to, oh I don't know ... say you agreed to wipe out Lillith because - well, because she's evil, and destroying evil is what you do for a living. That way, you do all the hard work - but you'll only agree if there's an exchange, because let's face it: you don't get anything for free anymore. Let's just use freedom as an example, shall we? He promises to leave you and your brother be for a small price. You would've accepted, because you'd never pass up a chance to protect your family, or what little is left. Then once Lillith is out of the way, he would've become leader over all. Would've worked out just super for him. For you, not so much. He probably would've retracted his end of the bargain. He wouldn't have needed you anymore, and he could always find someone else to do his dirty work if he really wanted to. Besides, what demon in his right mind would pass up killing the last two Winchesters?" It was true: most demons would jump at the chance. Neither of the guys were very popular in the demon world. She selectively stopped there, allowing everything she'd said to sink in. Sometimes Sam needed a little silence to digest newly bestowed information - and yet he was supposed to be really smart. Go figure. From where she was standing, he was a bit of a moron.
He absolutely hated this: that she could make so much sense and successfully piece together all these questions he had swarming around in his head without having to even stop and take a breath. She clearly had all this information crammed inside of her. It's why he'd thought it'd be foolish not to take advantage of that, but she'd double-crossed them. Even still ... He was suddenly finding it increasingly difficult to tune her out. "Let's pretend for a second that what you're saying is true. What good is telling me this now? Okay, Lillith is evil. I got that part. But I don't see how this concerns you. It still doesn't answer how you got involved." She seemed to shy away from the question - avoid it like the plague, but he wanted an answer, and he would persist until he got one ... or return to plan A: walk away. The choice was hers. It didn't make any difference to him. Whatever needed to be done, he and Dean could figure out.
An agitated sigh fell from her lips as she side-stepped and let her gaze travel off into the distance, scanning the darkness for any sign of danger. They'd been standing in one spot far too long for her liking - and she'd rather devise her attention elsewhere for this next little spill anyway. "My secret was out a long time ago. I was part of a coven. I sold my soul before I even knew what I was doing, and then it was too late." A quick glance was shot over to Sam - a stern look given - one that demanded not to feel sorry for her. She didn't want his pity. "But the demon that Dean killed ... the one preying off clueless witches - she serves someone else: someone higher up on the food-chain. Yep, you guessed it: Lillith. You see, Sam, my life tragically ended too soon for my liking. If I succeed in leading you forward - get you to fulfill your destiny - I get a shiny bonus."
The cloud of confusion that constantly encircled him during every conversation he'd ever had with Ruby was suddenly starting to lift. If he did what he was supposed to, she got rewarded. "What kind of bonus?"
This is where she hesitated the longest. Did it matter? She didn't see as if that were any of his business. They still had a lot of work to do before it was time for a pat on the back. And yet she might not ever feel as sharing as she did right now. Maybe that's because Sam's eyes were still a little red from all that weeping, and she felt bad for him ... or maybe she was going soft - when it came to Sam, and Sam only. "The eternal reward." She took a dramatic pause before adding, "I might've died centuries ago, but I remember what it was like to be human. A part of me misses it. If you win, I get to start fresh. Not only do I win control of my soul ... get rid of this evil inside of me, but I get a strong, healthy body to kick off my new life."
"What about the girl whose body you stole?"
How did she know he was going to ask that? "She died of heart failure a few hours before I took possession of her. I'm the only life she has left." See? She could be considerate. It's not like the body was going to be used for anything else.
"Then won't you-"
"Die? You'd think so, wouldn't you? But that wouldn't really be fair. My body's gone now. Ashes to ashes, as they say. So my options would either be to kill a mortal so I can take full control once the showdown is complete, or wriggle inside someone already dead, yet still pretty. I decided option B was much more desirable. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess I'm not a very good demon." She slid her bottom lip out into a fake pout before rolling her shoulders back. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it. I've done my homework. I know what'll happen to me. But as you can see, I need you to do your part." She sauntered back over to where Sam stood, batting her lashes and peering up at him innocently - or as innocently as she could. "I can assure you that if you're sweet on me, you'll love who I become after the transformation. Just think: you and Dean won't have to worry about me coming around stirring up trouble any more. I might even bake you a pie or something." She frowned. Maybe, maybe not. Baking wasn't ever a strong-point of hers, although she'd never tried to acquire a taste for it. But it was still an improvement: she wouldn't be tempted to slaughter civilians - or aggravate the guys.
See, she knew Sam saw some good in her, or he would've never given her a chance. He would've written her off as quickly as Dean had, and that would've been the end of it. But Sam wasn't Dean ( thank god for that ). And while she would never, ever disclose such intimate details about her life to any other living soul, there was something different about Sammy ... something that made her feel almost safe when she was with him. He could save her. Ironic, considering her 'mission' was to save him. Yet here they were, both seeking the same thing: redemption. "So what do you say, Sam? You willing to help a girl out?" That was the million dollar question.
After a long pause for contemplation, he sighed heavily before muttering a defeated, "If you put it that way, yeah ... but no more tricks." Eye contact was made and held for emphasis. He meant it. The next time he caught her in a lie ...
"No more tricks. Scout's honor, or whatever." She tilted her head back slightly to make sure he was sticking to his decision, before clasping her hands together enthusiastically. "Okay, so I guess this means I'll see you later. Give Dean my best." Then with a phony smile and a quick wave, she pivoted and disappeared into the night - leaving Sam to wonder just how he was going to explain all this to his brother and how long he should wait before trying to.