Leanne Twillfit

Merlin, I'm too hungover to do anything but lay right here in bed. Alone.

Year: This is for 2004
Age: 25
How was your birthday this year? It was one of the best birthdays that I've had in awhile.
Make any new friends? I have, indeed.
Lose any friends? Yes.
And how was the world of romance for you this year? What started out as pretty wonderful ended up absolutely terrible. At least it wasn't just before Christmas, I reckon.
Occupation: Artist
Residence: 137B Euphoria Lane
Pets: I don't have one, unless we count Graham, but that's sort of cruel. So no pets.
Get any taller? No, and I don't need to be taller.
Hairstyle for the year? I like my hair long, so no.
Best outfit of the year? Possibly one I wore in Venice. It wasn't anything terribly different, but the colours were fantastic and I got a good deal of attention.
What did you do for New Year's? Party at Brian and Jeremy's in Phoenix.
What did you do for Valentine's Day? The shag of the moment took me to dinner and then to his place. It's entirely his fault that we didn't shag, however.
What did you do for St. Patrick's Day? I think I went out with Seamus and Lisa?
What did you do for Easter? Went to Cardiff.
Where did you go on Summer Holiday? I'm going to count the few days in Greece as my holiday, as well as the weekend in Rome with Lisa.
What did you dress as for Halloween? Sybil Trelawney.
What did you get for Christmas? Art supplies. Graham gave me an absolutely stunning painting. Lisa gave me jewelry and clothing. My secret santa gave me some candles that are absolutely delightful.
What are your plans for this New Year? I was at the Zen of Art's party until around eleven and then I went to Graham's and got blissfully pissed.
Who are you going to kiss at midnight? I don't remember who I kissed at midnight, or if I even did.
How do you want the new year to be different from this one? Less heartache. I lost a few people that I cared deeply for this year. I don't want to feel like my happiness is dependent on others, but what if it is? What if I need to know that I am loveable and not leav
How do you want the new year to be the same as this one? I was incredibly productive last year. I'd like for that to continue.

[warded to self]
I had to stop by Angus and Anya's house this morning, which sort of ruined the whole idea of me staying in the flat. But I wasn't danced over, which was good. But I walked. And walking took me past where Ian lived. And there's someone else living there now and it just seems so fucking wrong.

It's three weeks on Thursday and I'm not over it. I miss him and I want him and all of the flirting and shagging in the world doesn't help. I was putting so much of myself and my heart into him and that relationship and I'm left with absolutely nothing now. It'd be nice if someone could read my mind just for a minute to see that despite everything, every front I put up, I"m not all right and really just want someone to hold me and take the hurt away. Good Merlin... if wishes were Galleons, Leanne.
[end ward]

Right, so after I try to corral a few of those dancers, I think I'm going to head to Matty's and do a bit of shopping for the food drive that Finnigan's school is holding. Anyone want to join me? I think it'd be fantastic if we were able to fill up the box at Atalanta's to the top.

... Ow. Now I have to finish my Christmas shopping. Again.

The drumming outside is getting just a bit ridiculous.

Anya and Angus (my landlords and the owners of the Zen of Art) haven't yet progressed into owning even a single journal - more's the pity because they're brilliant people and I think that they'd enjoy being able to talk to so many people at once. Anyway, as such, they've asked me to make a mention in my journal about the New Year's Eve party that they're hosting at the shop.

It sounds really brilliant, actually. Beginning at around 7 or 8, I'm not sure about the exact time, the shop's going to be open to anyone who wants to come 'round and see some pretty fantastic art displays, eat food (Angus is the cook in that family, and he's wonderful), and, if you've signed up and paid the two Galleon fee before the 29th of this month, take part in some workshops wherein you'll learn how to do different arts. It's not a two Galleon fee per workshop, but a two Galleon fee overall if you wish to take part in any of them. The only catch is that you've got to sign up for the ones you want and pay the fee before the 29th. The fee is to cover the costs of supplies. So far, they've got the following:

Drawing
Watercolour
Oil painting
Printmaking
Bookmaking
Calligraphy
Ceramics
Photography

And a few more will likely be added before the 20th.

Added a few minutes later...
They've just now finalised plans for an area just for kids, with painting and drawing and colouring and other things, along with foods just for the kids.

And I need to add that the actual party is free and open to the public, and that the entire shop will be having a sale. This is also family-friendly, so the strongest thing you'll get to drink at this party will be butterbeer.

[warded to Graham]
Anya asked me to ask you if you wanted to have a workshop. She can't pay except in food (sounds like me, doesn't it?) and art supplies, but it'd look fabulous on a resume. I'm going to be giving the class on oil painting.

[warded private]
Friday night: Roni. I think fettucine would be good. She doesn't seem like the type to appreciate a whole lot of experimentation in anything, much less food. Ooh, maybe I should just go with shepherd's pie. I think so.

Sunday, 2 p.m.: Ginny Weasley. Pot roast. What else is there for a Sunday? Unless it's ham. Ham might be nice.

Others interested:
Graham. Note: Keep tin of biscuits filled for him. Snickerdoodle this week.
Su Li. Might be slightly dim. Seems the sort to worry about her figure, soo... chef's salads.
Emma Dobbs. Not a clue. Odd one, her. Worried about what her cousin will think about her talking about nudity in public, yet said that the human body is beautiful and should be appreciated. What?
Georgie Bloxam. Not sure if she's dim or not, but seems nice enough. Soup. Tomato-basil bisque, perhaps.

I'm going to grow fat from this. Why do I cook when I'm anything but happy? All I do is end up eating it.
[end ward]

[warded to Harry Potter]
Congratulations. This was, however, unexpected. I'm going to guess from the shite quality of the photograh in the paper that you weren't expecting this to be front page material?
[end ward]

I did this about six months ago and I think that the time is right for it again. Anyway, I'm looking for models. Not necessarily nude, but just people to agree to sit while I draw them. And not even their whole body, but maybe just their hands or their feet or a profile. I won't turn down anyone who'd be willing to pose nude for me, as being able to draw the entire human body well is always well worth it for an artist, but it isn't necessary.

I will, of course, pay you for your services - five Galleons an hour regardless of what I draw, plus lunch and/or dinner, if you're around the flat that long. I am, also, available for commissions, but those are considerably more pricey than modeling.

Phoenix was always nice this time of year. After awhile, the Christmas lights didn't seem so discordant with the desert, and it was a nice contrast. I sort of miss seeing Father Christmas sitting on desert sand. I could also go out at night and feel the need to dress in a jumper and coat. The sky would be laid out before me, a million diamonds glittering, and then somewhere far away a coyote would howl. I'd shiver, and I'd watch the night crawl by. Sometimes I went to bed and sometimes I stayed out there all night and watched the sun come up. Usually it was so beautiful that it made me want to cry.

I've yet to see anything its equal here. It's dull. It's grey. There's barely any green and there's too much drab muddy brown. I think I'm going to make a mosaic tomorrow.

[warded private]
I keep waiting for Ian to come back and tell me that he was stupid (which we all know is truth) and that he doesn't want to be as alone as he thought.

Yesterday I swore that I'd take him back if he did such a thing.

Today I'm convinced that I won't, because if he can walk away from me that easily why do I want him? I know I wasn't just a fuck. I wasn't just someone to keep around. There was something real between us and he just gave it up. He didn't look back. He just walked out and left me in a million pieces.

So, no. I wouldn't take him back. My pride's not worth that, and I sure as hell know that my heart is worth more than what I was willing to give it away for.

It's not fair Why You know what? Some people should just get stuffed and go off to be ALONE.

[warded to self]
I can do this. I can. I got through Mum and Dad's deaths, I got through Uncle Sylvanus, I got through a fuckload of other shite in my life. So I can bloody well get through Ian-fucking-Urquhart telling me he needs to be fucking ALONE. It doesn't matter. None of it does. I'm glad I didn't tell him that I love him because he would have just thrown it back in my face.

I wonder how long it is before Lee says those wonderful words? "I told you so". Fuck that.
[end ward]

[warded to Lisa]
Do you mind terribly if I barge in on you and Seamus's undoubtedly wonderful evening? I don't really Ian's gone away broken up with me and I don't know if I want to be alone tonight. I really want Mum.

Actually, nevermind. I'm just going to go out. I don't want to stay in tonight, anywhere.

I apologise to all of those whom I sobbed all over the other day. I don't know what came over me.

( warded to self )

I just want today to be over with quickly. I don't even know why.

I'm at St Mungo's and I'm chilly. I can't tell you why I'm here because that's private. But I'm not ill, don't worry. Anyway, I'm cold and I've said that already. I also have made my shopping list because I'm the slightest bit bored, but that's because hospital waiting rooms just are, however that doesn't mean that I don't want to be here because I do because I really adore the person that I'm here for. I think that tomorrow I am going to make a roast so that we can have a decent meal and I'm really rather worried.

I have never seen a person who was truly blue until just five minutes ago when I saw Neville Longbottom who was a very beautiful shade of azure. I sort of want to make him look like a blue meanie with orange hair, that would be rather fantastic.

I have to be honest, I haven't a clue what I'm doing in trying to start the art foundation thing that my godfather wanted me to start. It's not even about the money because I have to admit that I'm loaded on my own because of my fathers and most of Uncle Sylvanus's fortune will be going into this, but I'm foundering a bit and I hate that. Now I'm a bit ashamed of myself because I have done a bad thing and talked about money in public and Mum and Dad taught me to never do that but I can't seem to stop my quill. Earlier I was talking to the lovely medi-witch. She was really lovely and let me talk for fifteen minutes, but now she's finally got herself away from me and is able to do her job. Merlin, I feel bad about that.

[warded private]
The handwriting is so close to Gran's. But why wouldn't she tell us? Or anyone? It's so sad if it's true, whoever it is. Imagine living a life for so many years, with children and a family... and it's not the man you loved.
[end ward]

[warded to Lisa]
I found a balloon yesterday. There was a note in it, and the handwriting looks like Gran's. I think you need to see it.
[end ward]

My lovely white scarf which was turned a sort of burnt orange is now once again a lovely white scarf. I'm a little disappointed because it was a nice shade, but all it's done is sent me on a hunt for a new scarf in that shade. I don't have anything to wear it with, but that simply gives me a reason to go shopping, yes?

Work on the Fine Arts Centre that my godfather wanted me to start is going rather more slowly than I had expected. I've looked at several buildings and none of them seem to "fit". One would expect that any old building would do, but it's strange. All of these just don't seem to. I've looked quite a lot in Muggle London; maybe it's the lack of magic that makes these buildings not what I want, I don't know. Perhaps looking closer to home will be better.

I think I might have the best boyfr They're just going to politi Sometimes I hate September for the sheer beauty it possesses. I wish that it were November, with its dreary skies and icy rains and how grey everything is. It feels like it should be November.

I think that I'd never sleep again if it meant that I wouldn't wake up to the memory of ghosts.

( warded private )

So I reckon that it's Cornwall for me, for a few days.

As some of you may have seen, my cousin Lisa is throwing a Halloween party at her house this year. And it spawned an idea, and I'm running with it. If any of you think you'd like to do this and want help with your costume, let me know! It can be arranged. Anyway, I've taken the liberty of deciding who some of you should as for Halloween. Naturally, if you choose not to, no hard feelings, but it would make for an amazing party.

( here there be costume ideas! )

Right, so this is what happens when I selectively read my journal... I read about really fantastic parties, go to bed, get up, paint a little, talk to my solicitor, and then actually read through entries... and discover that apparently human compassion is almost nil.

I understand that the child in question is a little hellion. But all the same, she's a child who is sick, and I see people volunteering to switch out a potion that will make her better with vinegar? It's not enough that her mother - as a good many mothers might do - panicked and thought her child had Dragon Pox, which isn't all that pleasant and can be deadly - no, you had to berate her for that. And when it's discovered that she actually has chicken pox you instead rail at the injustice of it all.

A child is ill.
Adults are hoping that she suffers.
Adults are hoping that a CHILD suffers.

I'm impressed. Really. So very, very impressed.

( warded to Lisa )

I like theatre. Not enough to act myself, but it was nice to see the costumes and the sets. So I've been inspired by Kenneth and I think that I'm going to try something new. I'm going to learn how to screen print and then I think I want to make ties. Or anything really.

Today's my last day with the Ministry. Tomorrow I start the official business of finding a home for the fine arts centre that my godfather wanted me to found. It will possibly be a month or two until anything is open because I figure that any building that I find will need to be remodeled and I'll need to find art to put into the gallery and people to teach the various classes. Is there anything that would be nice? Pottery? Painting? Any sort of dance?

( warded private )

( warded to Lisa )

I would really like a pint right about now.

Normally I am not a fan of acrylics. And I still am not. But Angus had some fingerpaints that are basically acrylic. And I can't stop painting with them. I have also had half a bottle of wine and I have paint all over the bottle and my wand and my clothes.

Mostly it is orange. A lot of orange with some red streaks and it looks like a sunset sort of. If I find black I can almost remember what the mesas look like in Arizona, when the sun is going down and the entire world is orange and shadows.

I hate turquoise in excess.

I get why funerals are considered helpful for the living. I still hate them. But thank you to all who came today; it was amazing to know so many who thought well of Sylvanus.

( warded private )

I would like to apologise to those of you who had wanted to do a bit of Sunday afternoon shopping at Twillfit and Tatting's only to discover that we were closed. But we ask your understanding as we begin the grieving process for Sylvanus Tatting, who passed away yesterday. The staff requested a day off, and I saw no reason to deny it. We will, however, be open again tomorrow and Tuesday and closed on Wednesday so that all who work for us may attend the funeral if they desire. We will resume normal business hours on Thursday.

Additionally we ask that in lieu of flowers, that a donation be given to Helping Wands in the name of Sylvanus Tatting.

Thank you,

Leanne C. Twillfit

( warded private )

( warded private )

( warded to Ian )

( warded to Lisa )

( warded private )

( warded to Seamus )

At least I'm not speaking Portuguese any longer, even though it was an interesting experience.

a translation is provided at the end

( ala privada )

Está bem ser de casa. Eu começava a sentir-me um pouco perdido sem o meu estúdio. Contudo, glória ao escritório do Ministro para guardar o barco a boiar enquanto Cormac esteve fora durante o resultado da morte de seu tio e a minha ausência durante a conferência e depois. As coisas foram só suavemente caóticas, que deveu ser esperado e é de fato a norma. Em que parto hoje a minha escrivaninha deve ser compensada o atraso do trabalho. Naturalmente, ele tomou dois dias para fazê-lo.

E adquiri de qualquer maneira a capacidade de falar e escrever no português. Ele é uma bela língua.

( translation... )

The worst thing about long-distance Portkeying, if you do it right, is the wait in between Portkeys. Well, for me, as I'd much rather take shorter-distance Portkeys than one long jump, and from Phoenix to London is plenty long. Our last portkey leaves from Greenland at seven p.m. tonight, and it's bound to be the worst of the lot. Anyway, holiday's over for the most part. I've definitely missed home.

After one final pretty impressive catered lunch, I am officially free of meetings! My job in Washington, D.C. is done, and I can turn my thoughts to more pleasant pursuits.

[warded to Tracey]
I'm sorry, darling, that I won't be there for the shows this week. Uncle Sylvanus is going in my stead, and that'll be more impressive for you, anyhow, to have him there. He was rather pleased when I suggested he go in my stead - I think he's a bit impressed with what you've done with your shop, in all honesty.
[end ward]

I really hate missing Tracey's shows, but it's impossible for me to be this close to Phoenix and not spend a few days there, especially when I've got friends who are having a commitment ceremony. Actually, I don't know what it's called as THEY'VE called it something different each time they owl about it.

Well, I reckon that American ward-breaking systems certainly are state-of-the-art and non-discriminating. Not only did the Washington, D.C. Portkey office LOSE all of my luggage for a period of three days, but when I finally had it back, the charms they'd used on my journal had rendered it absolutely and completely unusable. Hence, the owl(s) that I sent to London should have made it yesterday. Supposedly.

Not that it's mattered, as I've been in meetings or sleeping every single moment that I've been here. And after all of these, I'm off to Phoenix to be maid of honour of sorts to two of the most beautiful, charming, and flamboyantly gay men I know. Their flat is decorated FABULOUSLY. I'm jealous.

( warded to Ian )

All right, honestly? If a parent allows their child to wander into Knockturn Alley, then they sort of deserve to have their child stumble onto a brothel. As for the brothels themselves? If I were the type to frequent them, I'd rather they have to adhere to strict codes and guidelines to ensure the safety of the people who work there, as well as the patrons. I'm told that chlamydia isn't a fun disease.

And honestly, it's being CONSIDERED. It's not a law yet, so why those brothels are revealing themselves is a mystery to me.


added later...
Good Merlin, this is ridiculous. I have been informed thatIt is my duty, in the interest of full disclosure, to state for the record that the interactions within this journal entry are not indicative of Ministry beliefs. In fact, the interactions within this journal are those that exist between friends and close family members, and the inside jokes that tend to exist therein.

Tuesday was definitely better. In fact, I quite LIKE Tuesdays.

( warded private )

Some Mondays are simply not to be bothered with.

added after Jacob's owl finds her...
Jacobdarling, thank you for the shortbread.

Ugh, that was DISGUSTING. The house elf was cleaning the toilet and FELL IN. I had to rescue it. That was just GROSS.

( warded private )

( warded to Ian )

For those of you curious, I had a lovely, relaxing weekend, and I'm almost positive that I will end up adopting a Crup. It'd be sort of nice to have another warm body to come home to, I think.

Regardless of what anyone might think, or the opinions that one might have about the Ministry, the fact is that there are certain procedures that must be followed in any situation. It's called government, and those procedures are there for because of necessity.

That being said, I do look forward to an entire weekend away from any and all things political - beginning directly after work. Any and all questions and comments may be directed to the Minister's office, and unless an emergency comes up, please be patient for your answer until Monday. Government officials do like to enjoy their weekends, as well.

( warded private )

Last week was incredibly busy, so I apologise for my late thank you to all who wished me a happy birthday or sent gifts. Rome was fantastic and beautiful and a wonderful change from England. I only wish it could have been longer; it was a brilliant way to spend the weekend with my favourite cousin.

( warded to Ian )

[warded to Lisa]
You read Witch Weekly, don't you? I can't remember. If you do, WHY didn't you tell me that I was featured on the gossip page?
[end ward]

My first, full, official day in my new position is going rather well. I've only had one person ogle me today and it wasn't Cormac! I've actually managed to find five minutes to sit down.

[warded to Cormac]
Johnson DOES realise that my job no longer includes fetching coffee, doesn't he? Not that it ever did, but he seems to think that me being nice once translated into being his personal coffee slave.

Also, you're very good at this ogling thing if I didn't notice until Witch Weekly told me that you're doing it.
[end ward]

Oh, good Merlin. This is ridiculous. This afternoon I had a Floo Call from Linus and apparently an important piece of mail was sent out to me today and has gotten lost. So if anyone has received mail from Twillfit and Tatting's that isn't theirs, I really would appreciate it being delivered. Thank you.

I tripped over the elf this morning. The nice thing about it is that it puts charms up to not make noise when it cleans in the mornings. Which it does. The only problem is that it is a narcoleptic house elf, so it fell asleep in the middle of cleaning the bathroom. Not long after I stumble in, don't see the bloody thing, and trip. I've got a lovely bump on my head. The house elf is all right, though, for those of you wondering. No broken bones for it. But there's nothing that I can do about it, really. It's tied to the building and I do think it's feelings would be hurt if I told it I didn't want it to clean my flat. As it is, it's reluctantly agreed to not clean the art room. And it's made up for this by cleaning my bedroom twice a day. Yes, I've told it that it doesn't have to do that, but it doesn't listen at all.

I went to a FABULOUS show on Sunday night. Catch-23 didn't disappoint at all and I may be planning my next concert outing. This despite Ian's idiocy from last week where he almost DIED, the idiot.

Here's a clue to my friends and family and people that I am, in general, close to: I don't like it when you do stupid shite and nearly die. Just for future reference.

Whatever wine it was I had tonight before, during, and after dinner was rather potent.

I find myself longing for the sort of storms they had in the desert, where you could watch it coming for miles and the clouds piled up and it was a race to see which would come first, the lightning or the rain. I miss the stillness of the air and the smell of brimstone after a lightning strike. I miss the smell of rain on the air and I miss the riot of flowers that bloomed just after, spreading, it seemed, as far as the eye could see.

[warded to friends]
So I went a little overboard when I stopped at Dough Re Mi on the way home from work tonight. Anyone want anything? I'm sorry, but I'm hoarding the beignets. You can't have them. Unless you're Lisa. She can have one.

Uhm, they're most sweets - donuts and the like. All the French loaves were gone. It was TRAGIC.

( warded private )

( warded to Lisa, Seamus, Jacob, and Ian )

Forget this cooking for myself thing, no matter how good I can cook. I may be taking applications for my own personal chef. Not to be sexist (but I will anyway), but only blokes who can cook need apply. As lovely as some of the ladies on the Lane are, I'm just not all that attracted to you.

I nearly had to be rolled home tonight.

Today was a very sad day in the world of art, by the way. I don't know if any of you noticed, but in the wee hours of the morning there was a glow in that direction (no, I don't know what direction because I don't think all the way that early in the morning), and it was a fire at a warehouse holding Muggle works of art. Saatchi had artwork stored there, and probably some things owned by the Tate Gallery and Buckingham Palace. Merlin, I can't even begin to imagine. Sort of makes me want to go fireproof where I've got my art stored.

( warded private )

I paint different when I'm male - I hold the brush differently and my perspective to the canvas is higher. Otherwise there isn't much changed about me. I went to work today and did my job and when I had someone try act as if it were all right ot chat me up just because I'm male today, I did what I would have done for a bloke that would do the same to me as a woman: reported them to their superior and to human resources.

After four days of reading this, I have to say that I think that the objectifying of either sex that is going on on either side is rather sickening. "Free love" or whatever you want to call it is fine - if I say otherwise I'm a hypocrite and I definitely can't say that I haven't done my share of experimentation in my life. But to go about announcing that you've got a "large knob" or "great tits" is just unnecessary. If that's the case, go out and get laid and have done with it and HAVE FUN.

As for me, whatever I do in this form isn't going to be bandied about publicly.

Merlin. Someone come with me to Fortescue's. My treat. I've been craving ice cream since this afternoon and it won't go away anytime soon. And I don't want to spend the entire evening by myself. I feel pathetic enough as it is.

( warded private )

( warded to Ian )

One thing you won't find Twillfit and Tatting's: low-quality perfumes. Oh, damn.

( warded to Cormac )

( warded private )

I am suddenly in the mood to go dancing. Like, real dancing - not New Moon, sorry, Ossy. Swing, ballroom, something along those lines. Who's coming with?

( warded private )