Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

liz lemon (jbelmont) wrote,

There was a smear of something dark on the wall next to Danielle's bed. Against the otherwise perfectly off white paint, it stood out like an ugly sore thumb. Too high in length to find an explanation in someone accidentally bumping into it and consequently having some part of them rub off, Jillian found herself perplexed. With a Finding Nemo beach towel wrapped around her body, she sat on the floor with her back slouched against the night stand. Originally she entered her sister's room after taking a shower to borrow/steal something from her closet. But instead for approximately forty-seven minutes this particular mystery had fully captured her attention. Partly because she was mildly concerned that she was somehow responsible for the blemish but mostly because it served as a welcomed distraction from the overwhelming knots that had been collecting in the pit of her stomach ever since she'd agreed to go on a "date" with Asher. The idea of it wasn't anything new and had been tossed around since she'd made her public drunken desire from him to get her pregnant last year. Once sober, she'd been both annoyed at herself for making such an admission and intrigued by the possibility of something actually becoming of it. Idealistic as it had been she'd let her attraction be known albeit in a way that was thinly veiled in jest but was certain that her intentions were clear. With tactics that were a bit more aggressive than usual and almost always comical she'd attempted to win his affections. Unfortunately it didn't happen. Apparently, her age was just too big of an obstacle to overcome for him. Twenty-four years old be damned. Her fate was forever sealed in his mind as some little girl from his neighborhood.

Fuck him, she'd decided. Not literally, but metaphorically. Ageists were right up there with people who stole candy from children and punched little old ladies in the mouth. Obviously, Asher was a horrible person and not at all the sort that she should be fantasizing about. Only, he wasn't really an ageist or a horrible person. He just didn't like her and while that wasn't a crime punishable by any court in the world, it helped her bruised ego to think otherwise. She'd forced herself to stop thinking about it till she no longer wondered what she could've done differently to provoke a more desirable outcome. For all intense purposes he'd been removed from the front of her thoughts right along with the slight humiliation she'd felt. That was until he'd informed her that he'd wanted to follow through with what she had become to believe as a running joke since finding out she was in Los Angeles. Now ? Now he wanted to go on a date ? Much like the smudge on the wall, Jillian couldn't figure it out. Was he trying to re-establish their friendship so that things wouldn't be weird between them anymore while unknowingly making it even weirder in the process? She didn't want to be his friend, she'd thought grumpily and she sure in Hell didn't want to be his faux kid sister. Gross. Let Danielle or Amanda have that title. Brotherly thoughts were not what she had when he crossed her mind.

More than once she'd entertained the idea of backing out. She'd even gone as far as picking up her cell phone and dialing his number. But she'd been too chicken not to go through with it. If she didn't it'd look like she was still hung up on him and bitter. Never mind if it were true or not, the idea of trying to redeem herself and a bit of her dignity was at least a little appealing. She could brush it all off as a joke, blame the previous attitude she'd given him on menstrual cramps and fly back to New York with her head held high. Asher could go and meet some nice wrinkly forty something who would be old enough for his tastes but unable to give him any children outside of in vitro. It was fine. Really. So that must've been why she was obsessing with what to wear to the point where she'd so obviously given up -- hense her current position on the floor and her nude state.