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Sam Winchester (_bitch) wrote,

He gets that Dean’s tired of the constant argument that never seems to end (it stops, sometimes, or maybe pauses is a better word, because it always comes back, and maybe that’s his fault, but he isn’t ready to let it go until it’s resolved properly - and in this family, that’s never going to happen). He does. Same way he gets that Dean’s not going to change his mind about any of it, and Dad’s never going to change anything about the way they do things, and that both of them really do think his schooling is mostly pointless.

He gets it, but that doesn’t mean he has to accept it.

Maybe it’s stubbornness, maybe it’s some kind of wishful thinking that makes him keep trying, maybe it’s the financial aid and scholarship applications hiding in his book bag (in his AP Psychology book, because that’s one schoolbook he’s completely sure Dean isn’t going to ever look in - not that he’d look in the others, either, more likely than not, but Dean seems to have a natural aversion to anything Psychology related in the first place, and a class marked as AP is probably nothing he’s going to touch either) that he’s itching to fill out and send in, just to see what could happen...

>“Yeah, well. I don't get why you waste your time on papers if you 'know', 's all. Sitting here sulking and doing homework you're never going to hand in? It's not healthy, Sam.”

“Dad might not get back tomorrow,” he responds as evenly as he can manage, gritting his teeth and staring fixedly at the laptop screen, not really seeing it, distractedly listening to the sound of the weapon being taken apart, reassembled, metal on metal, solid and familiar, trying to pretend he can’t see it clearly in his mind as if he were doing it. Normal people can’t tell what parts of a gun are being removed or replaced by sound. Hell, most people don’t know how to do what Dean’s doing in the first place, or have ever even held a gun. One more normal thing he can’t ever have, because you can’t undo that sort of thing, can’t unlearn it once it’s in your head, once it’s become muscle memory.

“He may take longer to get the job done, stay the night over there... I could still go to class and get this turned in,” he continues, waves a hand at the laptop, “Could even get withdrawn from the school properly for once, maybe.”

Turns out, Sam picked up on withering sarcasm from his brother, and mastered his own version of their father’s stony expressions forever ago.

...continued in next post!