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David Haller (xgene) wrote,

Division 3 helped as much as they hurt. It'd been like trying to hit a mosquito with a sledgehammer, all raw power with no good way of being utilized for the specific target. David didn't know how to fix that, didn't know how to change what happened. It was all just a blur, a haze of death and horror. Everyone around him had all these plans, ideas -- he reacted as best he could, but nothing he did was ever enough.

One clear memory though, was what happened to Syd, the very essence of her being, when it was ripped out of her, her own power turned against her. But he couldn't say it. Couldn't repeat it. It made his blood run cold like it'd been replaced by ice water.

The admission of love had his eyes opening again, looking at Syd with every ounce of guilt he had in him. David loved her, so, so much. Not a day went by where she wasn't on his mind, active in a ghostly manner, or simply re-running every memory he had of her as much as possible to keep himself from giving up the only thing he had left: his damned life.

Words stolen from him, his eyes fell as she spoke about getting lost in time. "Emotions made everything I could do unpredictable," he offered, voice soft and rough again as he felt himself shutting down. Any energy or flicker of hope there once was drained by the image of Syd's death. "They're a trigger, and they work, but... triggers also make an ex-junkie want to use again." Essentially, they were dangerous when used too much and pushed too far.

"It used a blade," David said suddenly, eyes distant as his shoulders went slack, "made of pure, psychic energy... to cut your soul into pieces." A beat. "Then ash. Nothing but ash."

Falling silent then, looking much as he had when Sydney first entered, the memory of it ran over and over and over again. Unstopping, no detail missed. Over and over.