It's a hell of a role

If you can keep it alive

11/7/25 08:14 pm



So after lots of though, I made this Friends Only. I'd rather have only the people I know watch me spiral off the deep end as I go through school, thank you very much.

3/14/13 09:43 pm

ATTENTION FRIENDS!

I need your help because I'm being indecisive. I think I like 5 best but I'm not sure. This is going down my back if that helps with the decision making. I have a google doc here with the ones left in the running. Happy polling!

Poll #7077 Help Lauren pick a font!
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Which font do you like for Lauren's new tattoo?

View Answers

1
1 (20.0%)

2
0 (0.0%)

3
0 (0.0%)

4
1 (20.0%)

5
3 (60.0%)

7/6/12 05:00 pm

New blog post up today :D

5/22/12 06:07 pm



I know before I get started that this is going to get taken incorrectly by people so I'm putting that picture up there as a good bold reminder. If you find yourself thinking that I'm taking any side but my own, look at the picture. I have always looked out for me above my friendships, especially in RP because I tend to find RP relationships to be far more volatile, as a vast generalization, for whatever reason so looking out for myself has generally been my top priority. Do I get upset when my friends get hurt? Absolutely. My general rule is, though, if there's enough drama going on in a game for it to be getting back to me at all? There's too much drama because I don't talk to a lot of people. I really do my best to stay in the middle of things so far as to give the advice several times in several different instances that you need to do what's best for you.

Now that that's been said. I'm done with public games. I hate the drama. I hate it. I hate dealing with people I don't know because I'll start a line, get really attached and then drama. I used to really love RPing and meeting new people. I still tell my parents that meeting some of you has been awesome. I love talking to people. I love learning new things and whatever but lately it's just been too much for me. I've enough to be stressed out about in real life, logging in to my hobby shouldn't make me want to be sure that I have regular access to alcohol or xanax or whatever. I could say that it was hard to come to this conclusion but it wasn't. I deliberated over it because I didn't want to hurt people's feelings or think that it was because of something else but it made the most sense.

I will gladly go to PSLs or very small, private games where I know everyone but other than that I'm really, truly done. I'll still be around on AIM or here. I'm more than happy to stay in touch with people who want that or whatever. This is something I've been contemplating for weeks. Timing is bad and I'm sure this could have waited for better but honestly? I just didn't want to wait anymore. I make no apologies for this as I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not going to have real internet until August I think anyway and who knows, maybe by then I'll feel differently. Right now I need this break.

5/3/12 10:30 am

11/4/08 04:50 pm - 5 Friends; Uncensored



I saw this floating around and I thought I'd share since it goes along with the message of the day. Just go out and vote :)

3/8/08 06:40 pm

Have you ever seen someone's face and know you've seen it somewhere? Ugh, it's driving me absolutely out of my mind. The guy who sold me my movie tickets this afternoon... I know I've seen his face somewhere before. And the guy at the drive-thru window at Wendy's last night. It's probably just déjà vu playing a horrible trick with my head but I swear... The guy today wasn't even so much his face but his eyes. They were completely and utterly piercing. It was like he was looking through me and not at me. And I know that sounds ten ways a cliché but it's true. I did not like it one bit.

Edit: At least I got a fic out of it lol

3/8/08 12:18 am

Someone please remind me the next time I go to a place with my sister and she drinks that it doesn't end well and I end up almost driving off the road in rage. Seriously what the fuck was I thinking.

3/5/08 04:39 am

Two apps, twelve hours, I'm going to bed. Twenty four hour thesis hibernation tomorrow. This computer will not be touched...except to read the articles on the hard drive.

3/3/08 02:17 pm

I've had this plot idea for a game for months and I think I finally maybe have figured out how to get it to work! Which would get me all happy and excited and have me dancing around except I know I really don't have time to mod a game, especially not by myself. I'm still working on the finer details but it's AU and there is some time travel...sort of. If you're interested let me know because I'd hate for this to get buried somewhere because I think it's different from most of the stuff that's going on right now and well, I'm really proud of finally figuring out the finer details of it.

3/3/08 12:38 am

You know, you can be in a terrible mood and just angry at the world for no real reason but a good review on an old story can suddenly make you incredibly happy. Thank you person who read my story, you just made me a little happier today.

2/29/08 09:27 pm

Why can't doctor's ever just do their jobs properly? Then they might be able to figure out what this chronic random pain in my side is. As it turns out, this last bout of pain in my side, not my ovaries. Bastards.

I'm home for spring break. No Ithaca for me. They had me out of school yesterday and today and they didn't do any imaging studies while I was there so I had to scramble to a hospital to get that done.

Devin, we're going to the city sometime this week because I've been home for a week already. I'll be going nuts. Blah, time to go write an entry for crazy.

2/27/08 01:19 am

My new doctor's office is exactly what is wrong with medicine today. We have superstrains of bacteria because doctors prescribe antibiotics when people don't have bacterial infections killing any bacteria that are susceptible to the prescription and leaving behind the resistant strains to multiply. Whatever, I'm going to take it just in case.

2/25/08 04:31 pm

Sorry, I just need to put this somewhere )

Ugh, I can't wait to be rid of my other roommate. It's not that she's a bad person, she just says things without thinking then if someone acts offended she says she's joking. It's like living with my sister except she's not a whore. Devin, I don't care what it comes down to, if for some reason we have to live her next year, I'm not going to make it the semester. I just can't do it again.

I'm going home to go to the doctor because I have some sort of flu thing and the ovary thing too. Blah, I don't want to be around my family. And I still need to figure out what I'm doing for spring break. I think I have to stay home because as much fun as being forced into set up after set up is, I can't anymore. I can't deal with being set up and told that I'm going to fall madly in love and get married and have kids. There are so many things wrong with that series of events, namely the part where I can't have kids, hate the entire institution of marriage, oh, and don't believe in true love.

Gah, I'm gonna go back to plan H, become a hermitess and write horrible poetry for the rest of my life :P

2/22/08 08:16 pm

I don't think I could ever live alone while I'm in school. I forget to do important things like y'know, eat, when I'm caught up in my work. I zoned out for a good solid twenty minutes then decided to get something to eat because of it. I'm going to go find more food to eat or go to PC and Ben & Jerry's just so I can stave off some weight loss. I think the snow stopped so I should go in this brief reprieve from the abhorrent weather.

...I've been writing too much today.

2/21/08 11:35 pm

Please excuse my fangirling but...

EVE 6 IS PLAYING AT MY SCHOOL!!!

*squeals*

Okay... I think I'm done now for real...

Back to the biology paper and trying to get up for class tomorrow

2/21/08 03:57 pm

Today was like christmas. Four of my Skinner books came in the mail today which is very exciting because they are long and tedious to read so the sooner they come the better. The last of my first editions of his autobiographies (yes, plural because he's crazy and wrote it in three parts) was shipped today and should be here next week. My professor who's writing one of my letter of recommendations told me how much she loved my extensive useless trivia knowledge today and gave me another book on Skinner that will be immensely helpful to my research as it clarifies some of the research I've been doing. I have so much information on the man it's starting to get a little ridiculous but it's okay because I love doing research. I love learning and reading new things. So I'm going to go do that this weekend especially since it's going to SNOW AGAIN. But it's okay, I'm going to be productive and study for my tests next week and start getting structure to my paper and maybe (now this is a big maybe) I'll start writing a draft of ideas. After all, there's only two months left until it's due :P

2/19/08 12:38 am

Devin's meme made me all nostalgic about all the characters I used to write. Out of all of them I think I miss Fred the most. He was fantastic and hysterical. Almost as funny as Sirius and super overprotective of Ginny. Why'd you have to go and kill him Ren??? WHY? Ah well, I suppose I'll live. I also sort of miss Fenrir but that's only because of the amount of work I put into him the first time I played him. Oh, and Remus, but he pops up from time to time in my own writing so he's not completely missing.

Tomorrow, the only thing I have to do is go to a meeting at 1 o'clock. All my classes have been cancelled because the flu vaccine this year is crap. It protects for less than half the viruses that are circulating this year and my professor got it. And my other professor is in Washington D.C. so she clearly can't teach our class. Thusly, I get to sleep until noon and work on my thesis all day. I can get through that one book about Skinner and read the other five articles I've got on him. Then maybe I'll do some prep work for my GREs and write my personal statement for the internship.

If I get this internship, I will be so happy. I don't think I could even possibly try to put that feeling into words right now it would be so intense. So I just have to keep my eye on the prize. I'm also thinking of maybe going right to school. I'll have the one semester off so it won't be that big of a deal. At least I don't think it will. This way, I'll know where I'm moving exactly before I have to move again if I don't get into San Diego. All in all, things are good. Things are very good and I'm happy again.

2/13/08 11:54 pm

I wasn't going to put anything else here today because I know I've been super whiny and I hate being whiny but today was just absolutely awful. And just when I thought I couldn't have a worse day, at least relatively speaking, and it just did so now I'm going to rant and be whiny and I don't even care because I feel like shit and I just need to write it all down. I will however cut it so you don't have to read it if you don't want to, because despite me being angry and ranty and whiny, I try to be a good person.

cut to preserve whininess )

I think I'm done. These past few days made me very aware why I used to write for certain characters. They were a fantastic form of release and let me not turn into the crazy ranting lunatic I was today.

2/13/08 09:58 am

Dear Saint Rose and their staff,

If you insist on holding classes during an icestorm, SALT THE FUCKING SIDEWALK! I do not appreciate almost falling several times especially since this is my least favorite type of weather: cold and wet.

No love,
Lauren

Dear Mother Nature,

It's 25 degrees and you're raining. I've taken enough science classes to know that what you're letting happen is not exactly kosher. Please stop and revert back to snow so my gym class gets canceled.

Love,
Lauren
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