Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

Kitty Pryde (_kitzilla_) wrote, @ 2011-05-27 00:46:00

It's only been a couple of days and this is already so incredibly frustrating. I can't even begin to imagine how annoying it's going to be once it doesn't hurt so much. When there's not such a huge reminder that opening my mouth is a thing that won't happen.

My face is still puffy and it really hurts right now, but it's not time for them to give me more painkillers and I don't want to be annoying and press that little button and ask anyway. At least it's a sort of consistent throbbing. Maybe if I try hard enough, the rhythm of it will be soothing. Probably not.

I think my parents are planning on going back to Chicago Saturday. Well, mom at least. Dad was supposed to be in New York anyway for business, so he'll probably just head there. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's been so reassuring to wake up from a bad dream (and holy shit, have there been bad dreams) and see my mom sitting there. Even though she's not actually staying here overnight anymore, she's been in during the day and I know that if I need her, she's still nearby. Is it pathetic that I kind of want my mommy to stick around? On the other hand, I really don't. I know that she has things she'd rather be doing than sitting around here waiting to see if I'm going to need help tugging my IV pole to the bathroom, and it's getting to the point where I really don't need the help with most things. Even if I do, it's not like there's nobody else here to give me a hand.

I hate how incoherent the assorted drugs make me. Maybe the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm making sense right now is a hint that it should be time for more painkillers. Maybe they'll give them to me and I'll fall asleep and I won't have awful dreams involving failure and friends being dead.

Or maybe, probably, I'll fall asleep and keep on thinking about tons of rocks crushing people and sudden, random explosions and how I managed to get creamed by not doing something that I usually do instinctively. By actually actively stopping myself, for some stupid, incomprehensible reason. Then I'll wake up wanting to scream but being completely unable to, because that's pretty much what happens now.

I really need to work on improving my lung capacity.

And pain tolerance.

Maybe I should stop whining.

Suck it up, Pryde.

So there's a crazy rumor going around that I might get discharged tomorrow evening. Woo.