*private*
That's a great way to describe Tracey Emin for example. Her craziness manifests itself in her medium. I like what's she's trying to say artistically, but she's often just bloody awful as a person.
Do you and I even have that? Being too forward? I'm just going to pretend you didn't suggest I could or would tell you to mind your own.
Okay. Deep breath. Nicky got hurt. I mean really fucking hurt. He has a bite wound on his arm that's STILL healing. That's not even mentioning all the psychological and emotional damage he's dealing with. He's been speaking with Dr. Xavier and I think that's a good start but..how do I say this. So much of his self-esteem comes from his ability to please others sexually. I'm not going to get too heavily into his upbringing, but essentially he grew up thinking he was trash. He's anxious to go back to work and he's so not ready. He flinches when people get too near, has panic attacks if he's restrained in any manner and has night terrors.
I'm also not going to get too much into this side of it, because this shouldn't be about me, but I fucking hate myself for not being able to keep him safe. I promised as his best friend to take care of him and protect him and I failed. Utterly failed. What kind of person does that even make me? That's part of why I've been drowning..the guilt and shame are destroying me. Don't..please. Don't tell me it wasn't my fault or anything of that nature. If I'd not been so self-absorbed, something would of told me that guy was off. Sadistic bastard. Anyway. Yes, not about me.
Dani, it would be brilliant if you spoke to him. You'll be able to reach him on a level that I can't. Would you mind coming over here whenever you want to talk to him? He's still really leery about leaving the safety of the house much of the time. I could make dinner for the three of us and then I'll go upstairs so you two can speak privately. You being protective of him would do him a world of good.