InsaneJournal

Lydia
The Walking Dead / TV Series
PRONOUNS. She/Her
SPECIES. Human
AGE/DOB. 19/August 27th, 2004 (an estimation, it's not given in cannon and she likely doesn't know her age or birthday)
BIRTHPLACE. Baltimore, Maryland
OCCUPATION. She's been a student, a soldier and a courier, all in a post-apocalyptic world.

CONTENT WARNINGS. Physical and emotional abuse by a parent. Neglect by a parent. Zombies. Violence. Death. Murder. Wars between communities. Depression, including suicidal thoughts. Pessimism. Amputation of a limb. Low self-esteem. Bullies. Living as an animal. Kidnapping. Decapitation. Gore.

MEDIUM. She is the television show version of Lydia.
CANON POINT. Immediately after her last scene in the series finale.
ALTERNATES. Open to the comic book version of Lydia. For an AU Lydia, please talk to me first.
PLAYED BY. Cassady Mcclincy -- CONTACT. Contact Post

CREEPYPASTA. I understand.

Note: Walker is the term used for zombie in The Walking Dead.

Warnings: Zombies, living as an animal, child abuse by a parent (physical, emotional and neglect), suicidal thoughts, deaths by zombies including deaths of children and babies, murders, violence, trauma, low self-esteem, extreme pessimism, depression, self-isolating.

While Lydia is young, her personality has evolved a great deal. She grew up in a 'walker' (zombie) apocalypse. She spent the majority of her life living as an animal in her mother's 'pack'.She was accustomed to living outside, living as animals did, without any of the simple conveniences of modern life.  

Lydia had a mindset that was formed by her mother, who used emotional and physical abuse to manipulate her. She was taught to see any pursuit beyond simple survival to be frivolous and that killing strangers was necessary. She viewed anyone not in the pack as dangerous. Members of the pack could also be considered to be a threat and killed if they challenged her mother. Even babies were abandoned if they made too much noise and attracted the walkers.

With the help of others, Lydia found the courage to reject her mother's way of life and live in a community instead of a pack. It was not an easy transition. She had not learned conventional manners and behaved in ways considered rude and disgusting to many, such as eating bugs. Not all members of the community accepted her and some bullied her harshly. Adding to this, she carried trauma from the brutal violence she witnessed and the harsh conditions she was forced to live in during her past. Simple things, such as the sound of a baby crying, were enough to trigger her bad memories and cause her to want to isolate herself. She went as far as taking the blame for a crime she did not commit, because she felt safer in a jail cell.

Lydia's harsh upbringing also resulted in a low self-esteem.  She blamed herself easily. When she made mistakes, she instantly labelled herself as 'weak' or 'stupid'. She believed she deserved it when others hurt her. Her pessimistic outlook would not let her believe that the community could last. When her mother's pack attacked and killed members of the community, she viewed it as entirely her fault. She felt that the world would be better if she were gone and at one point, considered letting a walker bite her to end her life.

With time, Lydia overcame her pessimistic perspective on the world around her and on herself. She adopted a brighter outlook on life and became a happier person. She still carries traits considered rude, such as being blunt or walking away from an uncomfortable conversation, but she is able to fit in. She let herself open up and created bonds with others who loved her unconditionally.  She slowly realized that she was stronger and smarter than she believed, as well as capable of great acts of humanity.  She has done the right thing in moments of great difficulty, going as far as to offer to sacrifice herself for others on more than one occasion.  

During moments of extreme crisis, her pessimism returns strongly. On occasion, she returns to hating and blaming herself.  While she would no longer consider suicide, she considers leaving her community and living on her own during these times.  In a larger disaster, she immediately returns to her old ways of thinking. "People Die, Cities Fall, Things Just Don't Work Out." It is important to note that Lydia always bounces back from these episodes, to be stronger, more resilient and an excellent support to those around her. 

wiki link

One Regret.

Around the age of sixteen, Lydia developed a crush on a boy named Henry.  He was the first person to treat her with respect and kindness.  He was her inspiration to leave her mother's pack, to trust others and to live in the communities.  During her time living in one of those communities known as 'the Kingdom.', she began to let her guard down.  Even though she was bullied, she had Henry and a handful of others who cared about her.   She truly appreciated all they'd done for her, even though she had difficulty expressing it. 

The Kingdom hosted a fair where members of different communities visited.   They had many festivities, including a movie night.   The movies were simple cartoons.  Lydia was amazed by them.  She'd never seen a movie before.   For perhaps the first time in her life, Lydia laughed and enjoyed herself. Lydia's mother, Alpha, disguised herself to gain entrance to the fair.   She approached Lydia and told her to return to the pack.  Lydia refused.   She told Alpha that she had people who cared about her in her life now, and if she screamed, they'd protect her.   She told her  to leave, told her that she was giving her a choice, which was more than Alpha had ever given her.   Her mother left and Lydia returned to watching the movies.   She told no one about what had happened.  Despite everything, she still loved her mother and did not wish her harm. 

Alpha and other members of her pack kidnapped several people at the fair, as well as people travelling to and from the fair.   They murdered them, decapitating them and placing their heads on pikes.  Lydia would never get to thank any of the dead for how they'd helped her.  Even worse, Henry was one of the victims.   The horrific sight of his head on the pike is burned into her memory.   

Lydia has never forgiven herself for this event.   She feels she could have prevented all those deaths by alerting others at the fair to her mother's presence or by obeying her mother and returning to the pack.   Of all her regrets, it is the biggest and she continues to mourn Henry.   When she entered into a relationship with her current boyfriend, Elijah - she went to Henry's mother, Carol and vowed to never forget Henry or what happened.   She indirectly asked for Carol's permission to date Elijah at all.   It was the only way she could live with herself in a relationship with someone other than Henry.

Moment of Pride.

Lydia takes pride in her relationships with others, the good that she's done since leaving her mother's pack and all the times that she's stood up for her own values.  However, all these accomplishments were made with the help and support of others.   She sees them as the result of her being helped. If Lydia had one moment that she identified as having done on her own, it would be her role of delivering packages and mail between communities.  This may seem like a simple task, but she had to overcome many obstacles to accomplish it.

  Lydia was unable to read when she first joined the communities.   The walker apocalypse had started when she was a young age and she never had the chance to attend school beyond kindergarten.   Her mother refused to teach her to read, believing that literacy and all other elements of society were outdated.   She taught Lydia that people were animals and should live as animals.

When Lydia was new to community life, she was  told to go to school.   She was a teenager and was placed in class with much younger children.  She began easily frustrated while trying to learn what seemed to come so easy to everyone else.   She hid her embarrassment,  repeating what her mother had taught her about literacy being unnecessary.

Lydia later worked up the courage to seek help and worked hard to learn basic reading skills.   She is not an advanced reader, and in a modern world might be considered functionally illiterate.  But she can read and write enough to get her point across, and to recognize the names of people and places on the packages and letters that she delivers.

Lydia's literacy skills were not the only difficulty she had to find ways to cope with, to deliver packages.   She was bitten by a walker and her left arm had to be amputated to save her life. She taught herself to fight walkers while carrying packages, with one arm and one prosthetic, in a relatively short period of time. 

Lydia also had to be trusted by all members of the community with their personal correspondences.  She worried that she would have to prove herself to all of those who may have had lingering doubts about her due to her past.  Being able to be a contributing member of her community has a great deal of pride for her, especially because it meant she was trusted.   It finally made her feel that she was truly a part of the group and not an outsider in any way. 

GAME ENTRY. Lydia was returning from one of her mail carrying trips when she was attacked by a group of walkers. While fighting them, she headed away from her home in the hopes that the walkers would follow her and stay away from her friends. She walked into a fog, and ended up in Dunwich, covered in walker blood and brains and looking to fight more of them.

SECRET: Believing her mother's lies about her father. Lydia was so entrenched in her mother's pack, that she believed everything that her mother told her.  This included her mother telling her that her father had been abusive to Lydia and that her mother protected her from him.   When Lydia was able to get distance from her mother, she remembered the truth and it was the exact opposite of what she had been told.   Her father had been a wonderful, loving, parent.  Her mother had been lying to manipulate her.   Lydia feels a great shame that she fell for her mother's act. In honour of her father's memory, she doesn't talk about how she once believed the false stories about him.

Fear of Loss and Grief. Lydia has lost many loved ones over the years.   She is terrified of adding more names to the long list in her mind of all the people that are gone.  It causes her sorrow and anxiety when she allows herself to think about all the things that can go wrong.  This makes her protective of those in her life and she does all she can to keep them safe.   This can mean separating herself from them, physically and emotionally, if she feels she somehow puts them at risk. It can also prevent her from developing connections with others because they might die too. 

Fear of bullies Lydia has been mistreated by many others in many different ways.  It started with her mother, and then continued on after she escaped her mother.  She was frequently mocked for her feral ways as she adjusted to a new lifestyle.   She was physically beaten by those who blamed her for the attacks by the 'whisperers' (her mother's pack).   She rarely stood up for herself, was told not to make trouble when she did fight back, and was made to believe that she was too 'soft' to defend herself.  She frequently worries about being bullied again, especially around new people and when in new places.   This may be an even bigger fear for her in Dunwich, which is very different from a walker-infested world. She knows she'll stick out and feels that makes her a target. 

COMPLICATION: Adapting to Dunwich. Lydia will face many struggles as she adapts to a modern world.  She will need to learn how to use many forms of technology (though she did have some basics in the communities).  When using the phones to text - her limited literacy skills may lead her to ask what certain words and acronyms mean, or she may need someone show her how to use autocorrect, etc.   Socializing may prove difficult too. In her world, there was almost always a battle to fight or other crises to deal with. She won't know what to do with free time. She can use help learning how to have fun.

Wilderness Survival Lydia was essentially raised as an animal.   She knows how to live outside with few, if any, tools and equipment.  She can find sources of food, water and shelter with ease.   She knows how to use local plant and animal life, what can be eaten raw, what needs a fire, etc. If lost, or facing a lack of technology such as a massive long-lasting blackout, she will know what to do.

Dealing with Walkers. While in her mother's pack, she learned how to disguise herself as a walker in order to control and direct hordes of walkers.   With this skill, she can hide among walkers for safety, or to use the walkers as a weapon against an enemy.   If she is unable to disguise herself, she knows how to fight and kill walkers.

Fighting Staff Lydia is very skilled in the use of a fighting staff.  Her staff has a nunchaku at the end, to give her more ways to use it.  She has used her staff to kill many walkers.  She has used it against people as well, though rarely.   She would be able to use it for protection against monsters in Dunwich should the need arise.

Her fighting staff Lydia uses her staff for protection against walkers and other threats. As previously mentioned, she is skilled at using it. It is also important to her because it once belonged to Henry and allows her to feel connected to him.

Her prosthetic arm Lydia has a prosthetic arm. Since Aaron acted as mentor for her when she lost her arm, I've head cannon-ed that it is similar to his prosthetic, a mental arm with a spiked ball at the end that can be used as a weapon. She may eventually look for a more conventional prosthetic in game, but upon arrival it will help her feel safe.

OOC. NAME. Laura PRONOUNS. She/Her TZ. Eastern Standard Time (EST) or UTC/GMT -5
DISCORD. laura#7779 EMAIL. laura_suzuki@zoho.com CDJ. N/A