Okay people, fucking seriously? Does no one here how to wipe their own arses? Was that lesson conveniently skipped over during child rearing? Because ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.
If women weren't bad enough on a tropical island (and you better know that reason or you all failed anatomy too), now I have to deal with skid marks for days.
I'm about to go on strike.
I'd rather eat sand.
Newsflash: TOILET. PAPER. Or leaves, if you really can't manage that. They work pretty much the same, except a little more scratchy.