Dear Ms. Coming in for a Consult --

My time is as valuable as my skills. That's why my patient list is extensive. I would appreciate it if you showed up on time after we rearranged three other appointments to fit you in.

I'd also appreciate it if you listened when I explained that yes, I can give you that body in the picture you brought in. It can be done. No, it cannot be done in one surgery. Yes, there will be scars. No, they will not have gone away in time for you to go to Bermuda this August.

Pouting will not change those facts.

Having a tantrum because it's more expensive than your husband is willing to pay for this indulgence is not going to cause the price to go down. In fact, it may have the opposite effect.

Thank you for stopping by. Don't let the door hit you on your still-ample ass on the way out.