Missy (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _missy_) wrote,@ 2019-05-07 22:15:00 |
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WHEN: May 4th, super early
WHERE: Her place
WARNINGS: Language
Brake had realized around 6am, as he stumbled out of the shower with every intention of going to bed to sleep off the alcohol he had consumed. He was supposed to meet Missy the night before. He had never stood her up ever, until now. It took longer than he liked, but he piled into a cab, dressed in new clothing, and rubbing his eyes to wake himself up. He knew he had fallen asleep on the drive, when he jolted awake as the car stopped. He tipped the driver, before dragging his ass from the cab to the front door. Mary let him in, and he was smart enough to just open her bedroom door. Instead he banged at it, leaning himself against the frame, sunglasses pushed up, wet locks moving with it. "MISSY!" He called out, hoping she didn't have anything sharp. Missy had waited for him forever. After an hour, and no response to any of her texts, she’d gone to his apartment. She beat on the door for almost ten minutes on and off until she remembered she had a key to the apartment. She walked back to her car and grabbed her keys out of the ignition. She stormed back up the steps, so hard she was surprised her heels didn’t break. She headed inside the apartment and it was mostly dark. She’d called his name, walking around and checking each room. He wasn’t even there. It wasn’t that he had fallen asleep or gotten ridiculously fucked up. He literally had just stood her up. A hand moved to her mouth as tears began to run down her face. Number one her ass. Apparently she meant nothing anymore. She had to take a while to compose herself after crying on his bedroom floor for 29 minutes to be able to drive home. As soon as she hit her bedroom door they started to flow again. Smoking didn’t help. A drink didn’t help. Nothing could help the pain in her chest that she’d never felt before. She ended up crying herself to sleep. She was awoken by a knock at the door and him calling her name. She looked like shit, mascara and eyeliner dried where it had run and smeared. Eyeshadow had spread out to the sides of her eyes. Clearly she’d had a rough night before she went to sleep, still in the clothes she’d had on for their date. She wanted to tell him to go away. To go fuck himself and that he was a piece of shit. Then again, she wanted to say it to his face. Missy got up from the bed and slowly walked to the door, debating with herself if she even wanted to look at him right now. Eventually she opened the door. “What?” Her voice was a little rough, throat sore from last night. There was the weird feeling in his chest, that feeling of hope that she wasn't going to shut him out. Even though he knew he deserved it. He had hope though as he saw her standing there. "Babe," he said in a soft, regretful tone. "I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. I've never forgotten before." He didn't know how to explain where he had been. He wanted to avoid telling her he had been with another woman. He could only guess that she was blaming Bridget, when the woman had nothing to do with this. "Please don't hate me," he begged softly. Missy just stared at him for a moment, trying her best to glare but it was clear she was so upset she couldn’t really manage to hold it long. “You ... forgot me.” She knew it but hearing him say it was even worse. Her hand slipped off of the edge of the door and she took a couple steps back. “I knew this would happen. I knew you’d fucking pick her over me!” The hurt and anger were rising to the surface and she was holding back tears. “You lied to me. And it was the biggest lie of all.” The groan he made was audible, because God damn his head hurt, and he was in no shape for any of this. "I wasn't with Bridget, I swear to you," he said then, moving to take a step into her room. He made sure that he shut the door behind him, unsure if her father and his new wife were home and not wanting them to hear their personal fight. "I didn't purposely do this, I just got caught up in something." Or more like someone, but he knew she would blow if she knew he hadn't technically been joking about finding a third. It was different with Aine though, he knew she wouldn't try hitting him up later. It had been a one night stand. “I don’t believe you. You’d say anything to protect your precious little bakery bitch.” She was seething. He was really going to keep trying to lie to her? He stepped inside her room and she took another step back. She didn’t want to be that close to him right now. “Fine. Then let’s hear where you were then. I wanna hear this excuse you’re gonna use to save her ass. What were you caught up in?” She used air quotes. He couldn't even lie if he tried. The guilty look on his face said it all. "I was with someone else at the bar, I went back to her place. If you're still so adamant, I've got missed calls from her on my phone too, right along with yours," he said, and without a second thought he had his phone in his hand, holding it out for Missy. He never had a lock for his phone, so she was able to just go through it at her whim. He was just glad all the messages from Aine were via Tinder, and he had the all buried on his phone from previous women going through his phone. “You WHAT?!” And that was even worse. That’s where she lost all composure and the tears were pouring down her face, trails of black already there being made worse by the fresh liquid rewetting them. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” She yanked the offered phone out of his hand but instead of reading anything on it, she threw it at the wall behind him as hard as she could, hoping she shattered the bitch. She turned around to face away from him. “I can’t even look at you right now!” Her voice was a mixture of anger and hurt, clouded by sobs. “Just go to her. Since she was worth this? Just go to her, Aiden.” Seeing her cry killed him, because for the first time he had actually hurt her. He did duck as the phone flew past, having gotten used to objects being thrown over the years. He had a type, angry and small. They all seemed to throw things. Then she was using his real name, and he felt anger. Was she worth this? "Were all of those other guys worth this? Were they worth ruining what we had?" He asked, though his words came fast and slightly slurred from still being intoxicated as well as exhausted. He was too angry about everything that had to do with his life. "That's how we got where we fucking are, we can't keep doing this to each other," he said, sounding just the tad bit defeated. Oh, so now he was trying to flip the script but this time it wasn’t her who committed the crime and walking willingly to the chopping block. “You know they weren’t!” She whipped back around, nails digging into her palms and causing little moon shaped indents. She was hoping that would help but it wasn’t. “At least I never abandoned you for them. I never fucked up our plans, I wasn’t absent for them, I was always on time. ALWAYS. And up front about it, but never ...” And that’s why it hurt so badly. “I never chose them over you like you just did to me.” And he was right. They couldn’t keep doing this to each other. “You’re saying you want out? You fucking want out after all this? After everything?” And there went the closest object, her own phone that was on the edge of the bed on its charger, flying his way. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? ALL IT TOOK WAS ONE NIGHT OF PUSSY AND YOU WANT OUT? I’LL RIP HER FUCKING HAIR OUT!” Sure, he had been angry as she had been yelling at him. He had been feeling guilty enough as it was, but then hearing her ask him if he wanted out after all this just sent him over the edge. The phone hit him in the shoulder, and he hadn't done a thing to avoid it. "Do I fucking want out? YOU FUCKING THINK I WANT OUT?" And now he was screaming, unable to help himself. "THAT’S WHY I FUCKING MOVED HERE, SO THAT WE COULD HURT EACH OTHER MORE AND FUCKING END THIS. SO GLAD YOU SORTED THAT SHIT OUT," he wasn't capable of not yelling in the moment, and for once he didn't care who heard him. They’d fought before, raised their voices plenty, but the way he just screamed at her had made her flinch, tense up for a moment. That was something very new. He hated fighting so for him to yell at her like that ... the impact was more than the words and it was enough to make her fall completely silent, dumbfounded and wordless in a rare moment of raw emotion they were tossing back and forth at each other. “No it’s not why you moved here! But that doesn’t mean it’s not what it’s come to now! If it wasn’t that, if you didn’t fucking want out, then why go to her AND NOT EVEN BOTHER TO LET ME KNOW YOU CHANGED PLANS? WHY AM I NOW SECOND? IF I’M GONNA BE SECOND I’D RATHER BE NOTHING BECAUSE IT HURTS THE FUCKING SAME!” The way she went quiet in that moment terrified him, had they finally pushed past the point of no return? Then there was the question, why hadn't he told her? "I FUCKING FORGOT, I DIDN'T DO THIS ON PURPOSE!!" he shouted, before realizing he needed to use his words and explain himself. He took a deep breath, and tried to find his words. "I fucking was messaging this woman on Tinder. I'm so fucking stressed, I needed a release that didn't have so much drama attached. We are fucking at odds because I've tried to do this open relationship thing, I'm fucking at odds with Bridget because you can't play nice, the band is a mess. I just got a new fucking drummer, I've got the collaboration I need to do, a tour to get ready for, mothers day, the party..." he started to trail off then, and he sounded just as exhausted as he felt in that moment. "I should just go home.." he didn't know HOW he would get there, his phone was smashed to pieces on her floor. He figured he could walk to his guitarist's house, his girlfriend lived nearby. “Well think about it for a second. Just think here. If I’ve never had an issue before your dumbass bakery slut then wouldn’t you think, I don’t know, that SHE is the problem?” Seemed common sense to her but no one ever said he was the best at hints or critical thinking. Now she was so angry she was stepping even closer to him as she spoke. “And she has NO RIGHT TO SAY A FUCKING THING ABOUT ME!” Oh good lord if she ever saw this nasty little slut again she was going to throw her drink in her face and be tempted to claw her fucking eyes out. She how pretty her little cakes could turn out then when she couldn’t see them. Hmph. “Oh, so now it’s some random ass ho that’s more important than I am! Awesome. Thanks.” He said maybe he should go home and she couldn’t believe he was going there. “Really? You’re that stressed you can’t even discuss shit with me? I’m nothing anymore? Fine. Go ahead and leave. You already abandoned me once for someone. Why not again? Why not two days in a row. Hell, go for a triple and knock it right out of the park you fucking bastard!” And that was when she raised a hand and slapped him across the face. She jerked her hand back and held it with her other, surprised at herself. She’d never done that to him before. His boiling point had been reached when she stepped closer to him, screaming how Bridget didn't have a right to talk about her. He tried to rationalize that she was just pissed, but this was what he was tired of. "She doesn't talk about you, you're not understanding me," he said, purposely ignoring her comments about Bridget being the problem. He knew that he the problem, not anyone else. "THIS ISN'T DISCUSSING ANYTHING," he shouted in surprise, after she had slapped him. There was a hurt, defeated look to his eyes. "When you can talk like an adult, I'll listen. You didn't have to..." he didn't know how to end that, and so he just backed up from her. He didn't need something else hitting him today. His head was throbbing. “Oh, I know damn well you’re not pulling an adult card on me, not after you were the one being childish and not even sending a goddamn text. Do you know how long I waited? No, you don’t. Because you were out doing whatever or whoever. You don’t know how it felt and you don’t know how it feels right now. Maybe you never will.” Her heart was officially broken. For the first time in her life she was shattered. Not hurt. Not broken. Completely fucking shattered. “Fine. Have it your way. But if you walk out that door right now, if you leave with things like this, then don’t come back.” She didn’t know if she could bear it and it sounded good enough of a threat to her to keep him from doing it. "Maybe I never will? Do you really want to play who hurts worse? You'll never know how it felt to be so close to forever with someone I thought wanted it too. Instead of saying she was scared, she once again hurt me," he said. No, she had never forgotten him, but that had hurt. Just as it had stung to see his wedding band because he was certain that she would never feel ready. The threat, even if he didn't think she meant it, kept him rooted to the spot. He said nothing though, because what more was there to say? He wanted her to throw him out, he wanted to leave. Missy swallowed hard. He was right and she knew it. But as much as he had forgiven her, she’d never forgiven herself. Knowing she deserved it should have made it sting less but it didn’t. “I still want it.” Her voice dropped in volume, quieter then normal. “Forever, with you. I still want that. I never stopped wanting it.” She’d never lied when she said that or that she wanted to stay number one. Except it was much more of a need than a want. “I don’t wanna lose you. I can’t lose you.” If he was ever gone for good ... she’d never thought it possible until recently. "Then we need to figure this out without destroying each other," he said, sounding defeated. The change on her caused him to deflate a bit. He didn't know what they were going to do, how they could fix things. He just knew that doing the same thing was getting the same results. “We do.” She agreed and then let herself slide down to a sit on the edge of her bed. She leaned down, hands covering her face and elbows on her knees. “I know we keep fucking this up.” The words were muffled but they were still there. “But please never give up on it, on me.” Her head throbbed slightly from all the crying and the puffiness was never going to leave her face. She knew she looked like shit. And then the fact that had even crossed her mind was ridiculous. She knew it. There was an amused snort at her thought. He watched her as she moved to sit, and it was only then that he moved from where he stood so that he come over to where she sat. He bent down in front of her, until they were to eye. "What are you laughing at?" He asked, reaching his hands up to rest on her thighs. He knew there was a chance she would push him away, but if he just stood there staring he was going to lose his mind. Her hands parted and uncovered her face though they stayed close to it just in case. “Because I was worried about how I looked for a minute. And that’s the dumbest thing ever.” Which made an actual small laugh come out and then she sniffled. “I’m always so dumb.” Her hands finally moved fully away and they came to rest over his. “And you’re stupid for putting up with it. I never want you to go smart.” "You just fucking yelled at me for being dumb, you've got to pick one or another," he said softly, in an attempt to get her to smile. He shifted on his feet, moving hands farther up her thighs. "You know you're always gorgeous to me. Even when you've got the flu, you're still the hottest woman I know. You know that." He reached out then to touch her elbows. "Come on babe. I'm sorry, I was too trashed. I couldn't even tell you what day it was yesterday. I'm sorry." “We can both be dumb. Share the title. I mean the crown’s fallen off right now so...” She wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence so she let it die. “I know but still. I usually try to look best for you.” But despite it all there was a slight grin on her face. She let her hands fall from his as they slid up her arms. “Still. You’ve never. Ever. I mean ... we’ve never ... always number one.” It was hell to say it all over again because it hurt worse every time. His brows perked at her proclamation about the crown having fallen. He smiled though when she said she always tried to look her best. One hand came up to cup her cheek. The pad of his thumb rubbed over her cheek, and he leaned in to steal a kiss. "I didn't mean to, honest. I am stretched so fucking thin between band things and everything else. I honestly barely know what day it is. Please forgive me? It doesn't have to be right this second, but please?" The kiss made her grin. “It’s Saturday. Barely Saturday, but yeah.” Though this was more serious so she needed to stop just trying to keep it light for a moment. “Babe, if you’re having this much issue, maybe you should take a break. From your other people, maybe pushback the collab since you didn’t really wanna do it in the first place other than exposure. I mean you’re on the radio now. That’s exposure. And tour will be.” She skid her arms around him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You know I’m always here for you when times are rough. I should have noticed before now but I was too worried about where your dick was and not enough about where your headspace was.” She had dropped the ball but maybe there was time to pick it back up. “I’ll eventually forgive you. If you sit up on this bed and talk to me. Tell me everything you need to say that no ones listened to yet.” Brake couldn't help it, as soon as her arms were around him, and she pressed that kiss to his cheek, he nuzzled his own nose into the spot just behind her ear. He inhaled, taking a deep breath as his eyes slid closed. There were so many things he needed to say and get off his chest, and yet at the same time he didn't know where to even begin. There had been so much, and he had felt so isolated. "Alright, alright, I'll spill," he said softly, since he was still so close to her ear. Instead of pulling away so that they could sit on her bed, his arms slid around her and in one quick motion he moved her just far enough into the bed that they would both lay out, his feet dangling off the edge. He was still snuggled up against her, though he had moved just enough to let his head rest against her chest. "I have to do the collaboration. It's part of the contract now, and I'm working on her schedule. It all fits nicely together, I just need to get the hook down. I'm still not sure if I like the song we all chose, but I'm going to when I'm done. There is so much going on inside the band. We got a new drummer, the temp wants to head home already and doesn't care about the tour. He has his family to get back to, and who can blame him? He has kids." A defeated little sigh left him. "I need more songs for the album, I've been trying to put myself in a different headspace but I feel broken. I'm tugged in twenty different directions, between juggling when I'm supposed to be with you, and making time for Bridget before tour, and being sure I've got everything together for the party and tour... it's a lot. There's still decorations and shit that need bought, drinks need bought, I need to hire bartenders, I still need to go get my costume, and... seriously everything but where we are having it needs doing still," he said, sounding absolutely defeated. His eyes had closed and his one hand was idly toying with her top. "I haven't even been to bed yet today. I've now gotta go grab a backup phone from Bobby's girlfriend. I don't feel like I've got time off until long after tour. It's all worth it... I think." It was what he had been waiting for, that big shot, and he didn't want to blow it. He pushed her back and curled up on her and her hand moved to pet his hair on autopilot. Really, this had been going on between them so long, for so many years, that at this point it was as comforting to her as it was to him. She listened while he explained, making noises and rolling her eyes here and there but honestly that showed active listening on her part. Once he was done: “Well, I did say drop your other girls to free yourself up from that but ... what the fuck do I know about juggling a ton of people who want me at once, right?” So much sarcasm there. “I can take care of the party. In fact, I am telling you right now that I’m running the party committee and you’re kicked off the team. You may, however, still be the star of the party.” She smiled. “There. There’s two things off your plate if you just listen and let me help, Brake. Let me be there for you. That’s what this is about, you and I. It’s real love. Even when I’m so mad I could claw your eyes out I still don’t want you to be like this.” She scratched at a spot on the side of his head near his ear. “I’ll get you a new phone. I broke it. I’ll let you pick it out, but you need to go to bed before we do anything.” His eyes had closed, and he could feel sleep pulling at him as he laid there snuggled up with her. He was too tired to fight about Bridget, and how Missy thought dropping her was the easiest solution. He did nod however when she mentioned the party, and he reached up to wipe a hand over his face in an attempt to wake up more. "I've already got the treats covered, along with the stage for us to play on, and the lighting. Everything else though..." he trailed off as a yawn slipped from him, and his head moved right back for more pets. "Nah, she's got a spare. I'll just use that til we get back from tour. I think we are getting new phones because they want to use a song for background music in a commercial," he admitted. While he knew it was no big deal for missy, it was for him. He was 90% certain she had bought the last one. "I'll be fine, promise. I'll leave one you fall asleep, pop by Bobby's for the phone, then make my way home. I don't want to impose." While he knew he wasn't imposing, and that he was bone tired, he wanted to go home. His heart ached, and as he laid there snuggled up to Missy, he felt like the world's largest asshole for having hurt her. “Brake. Please. I broke it, let me pay for it. If this were accidental or whatever then okay. But i did this. Please give me a chance to fix this, even if I can’t fix anything else.” This was something that, for once, could be a bit of reparation between them. “I kinda went overboard but it just hurt so much.” And the excuse was legitimate but it was going to take her a while to get over it because to her there still was too much jealousy. “No. Please don’t leave when I sleep.” She partially sat up and leaned down awkwardly to press a kiss to his lips. “Stay with me, Flynn. I need you even if it doesn’t seem like it. Don’t leave me again.” "Can you buy it another day? I'm too tired today," he admitted in a defeated tone. He let out another yawn, nuzzling his cheek against her chest. "I know, I'm still really sorry. I never want you to feel like that." He knew that feeling all too well, he had never meant to make her feel that way. "I can't stay all day, but I'll stay until you get up. We can get a shower together." He thought that sounded nice, a shower together before he went home. "I'll even wash your hair and give you a scalp massage." “It doesn’t have to be today. Today you really need to just chill out. And so do I, to be honest.” After all that? Yeah she needed a day. She was going to text and cancel her date for the night as soon as she woke up. “Are you going to sleep with me though? Because you need it. Actual sleep I’m not trying to fuck you. Not when you’re like this.” The shower did sound nice though. Brake was starting to fall asleep, as he relaxed in her arms. His head bobbed just barely in a nod. "Sleep," he replied in a half grunt. Those arms that he had wrapped around her tightened a moment, and then he relaxed again. "You smell good," he muttered into her breast. |