You're right. I didn't realize that was what I was doing in the heat of worry and frustration but you're correct. I'm a stranger to you and though we've both tried to mend that very burnt bridge in fits and starts, it's clear its too damaged. You have a great deal to manage and worry about, and I don't think either of us wants to put the proper energy it would take.
I know you're sorry but it doesn't hold weight against reality. Thank you for having always been honest with me even when I didn't to hear it. I will always love you.