They've send me a bunch of books, self professing to be sci-fi and mystery. Most of them revolve around two young people who are wrong for one another/one claims to loathe the other, and they must save their respective worlds.

As I'm forbidden from setting them afire, I've gone through five bottles of wine before I just wrote 'no' everywhere. If you wish to publish this awful tripe, do it on your own money as I refuse to edit any of these, and you do not wish to learn of my critique involving them as most youths cannot handle such truths.

I'm also in a spot of trouble regarding the bird. Apparently it's illegal to keep it's kind. I told the nice people to please just take it, but instead I just have to pay a fine.

If birds can be smug, this one has mastered it. It's also absconded with my favorite pen, and is sitting on it's perch mocking me as per usual.