_smoke_ (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _smoke_) wrote,@ 2006-11-12 13:06:00 |
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Title: Postcards from the Heart
Characters: Lupin, Snape, others
Rating: G
Author: smoke
Summary: Remus tries to find a way to communicate with his absent love.
Author's Note: Eleven Drabbles, written for the Postcards Challenge at lupin100. They tell a story written in 100 word postcards.
Postcards From the Heart
_______________________
Dear Severus,
Raining again. Still. Always, it seems. The house is so empty and cold without you. I hope you're all right, wherever you are. Perhaps I shall go away for awhile. Find some sun somewhere. Greece, maybe – we had such a good time there! Remember the olive grove? And the poor farmer who discovered us? And the wines of Santorini? (I'll be good and not mention that night you had too much Ouzo and ended up dancing on the table in that little taverna in Iraklio. You look so good in (and out of) Muggle clothes!)
Missing you,
Remus
______________________
Dear Severus,
I'd forgotten how hot it could be in Greece. Maybe I didn't notice it over the heat of your passion. :-) I swear I caught a glimpse of you today, by the spring at Delphi. I sat for an hour crying like a child when I realized it wasn't you. And now you're scowling, calling me weak. Well, I am weak, I guess – weaker than you, at any rate. All I know is how much I miss you, how big a hole your leaving has torn in my soul.
How I wish I could have a second chance!
Remus
_______________________
Dear Severus,
Crete is just as beautiful, but emptier without you. I'm staying in that little town on the northern coast where we stayed last year. Perhaps it's not a good idea, but I can't seem to help myself. Oh Severus, I hear your voice as I'm drifting off to sleep, feel your touch in my dreams, see you in the distance just rounding a corner. You are everywhere and nowhere - sometimes I don't know how to go on. I'm sorry – I'm sorry I'm weak!
If I could hear your scathing denunciations of my weakness just once more....
Remus
_______________________
Dear Severus,
I saw an eagle circling on an updraft this morning, saw the turquoise of the ocean and felt the breeze, and it didn't hurt as much as yesterday that you weren't with me. I'm starting to see things around me again, hear the voices of children playing, smell the dust of the olive groves. The nights are still the worst – how I ache for you! I would give my life to be with you again, but you would only despise me for giving up so easily something you fought so hard to keep.
I miss you so!
Remus
_______________________
Arti,
It's quiet here without you, but I needn't tell you that. Are things going well with your Northern God? Still hot and heavy, I hope. He's certainly a catch for a worn-out fisherman like you.
There's been an Englishman here, about our age. He's grieving deeply for someone, and looks so desolate. I'd like to talk to him – I know so well what he's going through, but he sees nothing and no one.
All right, there are other things I'd like to do with him, but mostly I'd just like to ease his pain. I'll keep trying.
Kostis
________________________
I'm so sorry! I don't know how I could have done such a thing – how I could have betrayed you. My love, forgive me, please forgive me! He was sympathetic, he seemed to understand. Maybe I drank too much. No, I can blame nothing but my own weakness. I've ached for you, every day I long for you, and he was there. He just listened, and then, I don't know how it happened, Severus, I swear, you know how much I love you! But it felt so good to be held again, to have someone touch me like I mattered.
_________________________
Arti,
I think I've ruined everything! I got the Englishman to talk to me. We had a drink, went for a walk on the beach. I was right, it's his lover he grieves for, dead these six months. I held him as he sobbed, and I swear I intended nothing. It happened slowly at first, then with an all consuming fire.
He won't talk to me; he's riddled with guilt. I pointed out his lover is dead and he almost attacked me. I know I should walk away, but there's something about him. I want him to stay – forever.
Kostis
__________________________
Dearest Kostis,
A worn-out fisherman am I? What does that make you then?
Have you really found someone? I do hope so! It hurt me to see you hopping from bed to bed and never finding someone who could touch your heart.
Do not give up. Let him see you for who you truly are, and it won't be possible for him not to love you!
You asked about my Northern God? (Hands off, Big Brother!) He is very... Godlike, thank you very much. We'll be home for Christmas, and may have an announcement to make.
Your loving sister,
Arti
__________________________
Severus,
What do I do? He won't give up. He thinks, because his lover drowned five years ago, that he knows how I feel. He says he cares, that he wants me to stay. I know you hate weakness, but my heart is in shreds. I want to be loyal to you – I want YOU, And I want to be held again, to be special to someone.
I wish I could speak with you. I wish you could give me some sign. I drop these cards in the post with no address, and hope that you will read my heart.
___________________________
Remus,
You were the strength that kept me going that last year, the only thing that made my life bearable. Your love was the purest thing in my miserable existence.
I instructed this to be sent six months after my death because I know you. I know you gave your heart to me completely, I know you are lost and lonely, and probably feeling guilty over something. Stop it. I want you to love again. I want you to live for both of us. I want you to go get laid. If you don't, I'll come kick your arse.
Severus
____________________________
Epilogue: Three months later
Dearest Severus,
I'm staying here on Crete with Kostis. He has a small cottage in a smaller town by the sea. He farms, olives of course, and keeps a few goats and chickens. He holds me when I wake screaming, and the nightmares are getting farther apart. He will never replace you in my heart, no one could, but I believe there is room for him beside your memories. I am finding peace here, and starting to heal, and I pray to whatever gods there may be that you have found peace as well.
I will always love you,
Remus
__________
~~end~~