_smoke_ (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _smoke_) wrote,@ 2004-05-12 10:48:00 |
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Title: The Wizard’s Tale: A Continuation
Part 4 contains chapters 17-20
Chapter 17: The Long Way Home
Snape didn’t return that night or the next morning. After lunch, Lillith and Meredith sat in the sunny garden chatting. Lillith was preoccupied though and eventually the conversation petered out and they just sat soaking up the warmth of the afternoon sun.
“You’re well enough to travel back now, aren’t you?” Meredith’s tone was light.
Lillith came to with a start. “I’m so sorry, Meredith; I’m imposing. Of course I can go.”
Meredith frowned at her. “You know perfectly well you are welcome here for as long as you want to stay. You and your dark wizard. I was just wondering; you’re not going to leave without him, are you?”
Lillith flushed and looked stubborn. “No, not if I can help it!”
“Then knowing you, you won’t.” She frowned. “Isn’t there anything I can do to help?”
“You’ve already done so much.” Lillith fretted with the fringe on her shawl. “I’m afraid I’m putting you in danger.”
“Are you on business of the Order?”
Lillith was shocked. “You know about the Order?”
“Oh yes. Albus Dumbledore is no stranger to these parts and England isn’t the only place worried about the Dark Lord. There is a branch of the Order here.”
Lillith was dumbfounded. “Why wouldn’t he have told us?”
“Safety, I imagine.” Meredith picked a stalk of mint by her chair and crumpled the fragrant leaves between her fingers. “We’re bound to know -- or guess -- about you because England is where Dumbledore is from but there’s no need for you to know about us. The less we know about each other, the safer we may all be.”
“But why didn’t he tell me? He might have known I’d be in the area.”
Meredith smiled. “But did he know we already knew each other? And we certainly didn’t know your friend.”
Lillith thought this over. “Perhaps he thought it was safer.”
Meredith watched a honey bee working in the mint blossoms. “Jon might be able to help.”
“No!” Lillith was adamant. “It’s too dangerous to go poking around these people.” She choked. “The man who beat me... He is one of Voldemort’s.”
Meredith put a hand on Lillith’s arm. “Don’t upset yourself. We’ll stay out of it if you wish.” She sighed. “I just wish we could talk to your wizard.”
Lillith gave a mirthless laugh. “Maybe it’s better that you can’t.”
“You’re worried about him, aren’t you?”
Lillith bit her lip. “Yes.”
They sat in silence for awhile before Meredith went back to the house to work and Lillith took a nap.
Dinner that evening was rather quiet; even the boys tuned in to the subdued atmosphere. Lillith retired early to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. A little after ten there was a soft knock at the door and Meredith peeked into the room.
“I thought you’d still be awake.” She slipped in and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Jon went into town after supper.” Lillith started up in protest but Meredith shushed her. “He does that sometimes; it wouldn’t be seen as strange. Anyway, he wasn’t being nosey, just asking after the latest news as he always does. He saw your wizard. Chumming up to some rather shady fellows; Jon stayed away but he did catch his eye and your man gave him a nod.” She sighed. “For what all that’s worth.”
Lillith gave her friend a hug. “Thank you! Thank Jon! At least I know he’s safe.” She closed her eyes. “For the moment.”
The night came and went with no sign of Snape. Lillith drifted into fitful sleep sometime around two and at dawn sat up with a start. There was a small noise in the corner of the room.
“It’s just me,” Snape’s voice was strained with fatigue.
Lillith was across the room and had her arms around him before she could think.
He stood rigid for a few seconds, then gently but firmly put her away from himself. She started to speak but he cut her off.
“How are you feeling? Can you travel today?”
“Yes. Are you coming too?”
“Would you go without me?” He crooked an eyebrow.
“No.”
“That’s what I thought.” He managed a slight smile. “We’ll go back later this morning.” He dropped his shirt over a stool and put a hand on the counter to steady himself as he pried off his boots. “I need a bit of rest first.”
“Are you all right?” Lillith moved closer to him but he put up a hand to stop her.
“Yes, just very tired.” He looked at her but his eyes didn’t seem quite focused. “Would you mind sharing your bed?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she hissed at him. “Are you sure you aren’t hurt?”
“Quite sure.” He dropped his trousers on the floor and fell into the bed; asleep before his head hit the pillow.
Lillith pulled the quilt over him then crawled into bed next to him. She too, was soon asleep.
Lillith awoke a few hours later to find Snape still sound asleep in the same position. She slipped out of bed and not wanting to wake him, headed for the house in her robe and bare feet.
Meredith was at the sink when she came in.
“Is he all right?”
“You knew he was back?” Lillith was surprised.
Meredith nodded. “Jon saw him come in. He rises early.”
“He’s exhausted but says he’s unhurt. We’re going back today.”
Meredith nodded. “I’ll miss you, but I think it’s probably for the best. And you have work waiting for you at home.”
Lillith had almost forgotten about the plants with all that had happened the last couple of days. She sighed.
“I’ll miss you, too. How can I ever thank you?”
“Just stay safe.” Meredith gave her a hug. “How are you traveling? Can you Apparate that far?”
Lillith frowned. “He probably can, but I’ve never tried anything half so far.”
Meredith thought a moment. “Seems to me,” she grinned, “I could use some more of that lichen that grows on the northern coast of France. I usually get a Portkey when I need to go.”
Lillith laughed. “You can really get a Portkey to France? You’re a wonder!”
Meredith dried her hands on a towel and took off her apron. “I’ll go for it now.”
In a moment she was gone and Lillith was left alone with her tea. She was looking at the workshop when the curtains disappeared from its windows. She refilled her mug, poured another for Snape and headed back to the shop. He was up, dressed and had the room tidy when she entered. He looked far better after his few hours sleep. She handed him the tea.
“You found Malfoy?” Her voice trembled on his name.
“Yes. He appears to have believed me alright.” He sipped his tea but didn’t go on.
Lillith nodded. “It seems Meredith needs a certain lichen from the north coast of France. She’s getting a Portkey for the trip now.”
Snape’s eyebrows rose over the rim of his cup.
“What a fortuitous coincidence.”
“Isn’t it?” Lillith couldn’t help but laugh.
Snape suddenly put his mug down and stepped in front of her, raising his hands and cupping her face between them. Her confusion increased when she saw his look was one of detached concentration but she stood still. He held her face a moment then ran his hands down her neck, over her shoulders and down her arms then moved one in to her ribs and placed the other against her belly, splaying his fingers and pressing gently. After a second, he dropped his hands.
“You’re better. Is there any pain left?”
She realized he had been examining her, using his healers’ hands.
“No. No, I’m fine.” She found his detachment a bit unnerving.
“Good.” He took hold of her hand and started to remove the bandages. “I didn’t let Greta remove these the other night. She didn’t think well of me for it.”
The hand was much improved; all the swelling was gone. There was the bright red stripe where the wand had lain but it was only a bit sore. And there was the brand. When he replaced the bandage she knew it was to hide the brand, not for healing. He threw the old bandages away and stood on the far side of the room sipping his tea. Lillith felt tears pricking the back of her eyes and looked down. It seemed the easy companionship of their long hikes and work in the shop was a thing of the past, to be forgotten as if it had never been. She drew a deep breath and raised her head to find him watching her. She managed a smile.
“Hungry?”
He nodded.
“Let’s go!” She tried to sound bright.
He quirked an eyebrow. “Do you think you should dress first?”
“Oh,” Lillith had forgotten she was still in a robe.
“I’ll wait outside.” Snape was gone before she could answer.
With a sigh, she dressed and loaded up her pack. His was already waiting by the door. With a last look around the sunny shop that had been home for the last few days, she went out and dropped her pack on the ground. Snape nodded approval and followed her to the house.
They had finished eating and were cleaning up (Snape was doing the washing so she could keep her bandage dry) when Meredith came in and plunked and old lantern on the table.
“Round trip Portkey for three to France,” she announced. “I told them I was taking two of the boys.”
Lillith translated for Snape.
Snape gave one of his rare smiles. “How can we thank her?”
Lillith asked.
Meredith studied him for a moment, a frown on her face. “Tell him he can thank me by seeing that no hurt, of any kind, comes to you.”
Lillith looked uncomfortable.
“Tell him!” Meredith insisted.
Lillith translated a little sheepishly.
Snape looked a little taken aback under the force of Meredith’s stare but didn’t flinch.
“Tell her I will do my best.”
Lillith did.
“Humph,” Meredith looked only slightly mollified. “See that you do!”
Lillith could see Snape got her meaning.
“So,” Lillith looked around. “Are we about ready?”
“I just need a few things,” Meredith disappeared into the other room and Snape left to get their packs.
When they were ready they each put a hand on the old lantern and Meredith cast the charm. Within seconds they were standing on a high hill overlooking the English Channel. Lillith turned to her friend and wrapped her in a hug.
“Say good by to Jon and the kids for me.”
“Of course! Send an owl when you’re home safely.” She turned to Snape and held out her hand. He gave it a brief clasp and then gave her a small bow. Meredith shook her head then waved them away. “Go!”
They went.
Just before Apparating, Lillith felt Snape’s long fingers close over her wrist and experienced a wave of relief. This was the furthest she’d ever Apparated and wasn’t all that sure of herself.
A moment later she was blinking in the sunshine at the end of Grimmauld Place. She took a deep breath, glanced at Snape and felt a bit disconcerted to find him watching her closely, a shuttered look on his face. They shouldered their packs and walked down the street to number 12. They entered quietly and went straight down to the kitchen. Tonks was crossing the room and on seeing them, let out a shriek. She threw herself on Lillith, laughing and crying at the same time. Snape stared dumbfounded as Tonks babbled her relief at seeing her “Aunt” Lilly save and sound.
“Aunt!” He fairly shouted. “Aunt Lilly!”
“Yes,” Tonks beamed. “Didn’t she tell you?”
Snape’s face grew black. “No. She did not.”
A bark of laughter form the door made them all turn. Mad Eye Moody lounged against the door frame.
“You look surprised. What’s the matter Severus?” His look was insufferably smug. “No one mention that little detail?” He chuckled at Snape’s look. “By the way, Dumbledore wants to see you as soon as you’re back.”
Snape was gone.
Moody looked a bit taken aback. “Actually,” he looked at Lillith, “he wanted to see both of you.”
Just then there was a whooshing noise and green flame flared in the fireplace. Dumbledore’s head appeared and he looked around.
“Ahhh, Lillith. Good to see you my dear. Do you think you could drop by my office at your earliest convenience?”
Lillith gasped at the rapid turning of events. “Of course, Albus; I’ll be right there.”
Dumbledore was gone. Tonks gave her another quick hug and pushed her toward the fireplace. Lillith picked up some floo powder and Tonks shoved her pack into her hands.
“Come back as soon as you can.”
Lillith nodded dumbly and tossed the floo powder into the fireplace. Green flames shot up and stepping into them she said, “Albus Dumbledore’s office!” in a clear voice. There was the sickening swirling feeling that went with using floo powder and then she was stumbling across the floor of Dumbledore’s office. He caught her arm and steadied her, guiding her to a chair. Snape was standing in the corner looking murderous.
“Please, Severus, have a seat.” Dumbledore waved him to a chair with a gracious smile, completely ignoring the younger man’s black expression.
“Tea?” Albus waved his wand a tray with a gently steaming pot appeared.
“Thank you.” Lillith was grateful.
Snape stared at the floor.
“Something stronger perhaps, Severus?”
Snape started. “No, thank you. Tea will be fine.” He spoke through clenched teeth.
“Is something wrong, Severus?” Dumbledore handed him his tea.
Snape scowled at Dumbledore.
“Ms Marshbanks should be in hospital.”
“Indeed!” Dumbledore turned to Lillith. “Is that true, my dear?”
“I’m fine.” Lillith threw a quick look at Snape but he was staring at the floor again.
Dumbledore waited.
“A checkup perhaps. Tomorrow. It can wait; I’m fine, really.” She saw Dumbledore’s look of concern.
Dumbledore looked back at Snape who continued to stare at the floor. They both waited. The silence went on for several minutes until Snape shifted uncomfortably and looked up to meet Dumbledore’s eyes. Albus studied him a moment and smiled.
“Good. We can begin. I fear this is going to be a long session.”
They took a break a few hours later. Lillith freshened up and sent a school owl to Meredith to let her know she was OK. Dinner was served in Dumbledore’s office.
When they came to the part where Lillith went looking for Snape (they had glossed over the reason for his leaving), Lillith told how she had bumped into Malfoy in the street, recognized him and been afraid. He had picked up on her fear – but hadn’t recognized her – and forced her back to his room. At that point in the story, Lillith's voice broke and she looked down. Albus waited quietly but it was Snape’s harsh voice that continued.
“Malfoy beat her. He broke her jaw, her nose, her cheekbone, her arm, and her ribs. He blackened her eyes, knocked out some teeth and caused internal bleeding.” Snape was staring at the darkening window, a muscle working in his jaw.
Dumbledore took off his glasses and wiped his eyes.
“My dear, I am so sorry.”
“It’s all right.” Lillith lifted her head. “Severus came. He told Malfoy who I was and convinced him I was too well known to be safely thrown away.” Her voice wavered a bit. “He got me out of there, took care of me and convinced Malfoy he had fixed me up and modified my memory.”
Dumbledore looked from one to the other.
“Why is your hand bandaged?”
“Oh,” Lillith faltered.
Dumbledore sighed. “I don’t need to know every little detail of your trip but I think you may be leaving out some details that I do need to know.”
Lillith was silent. Snape sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.
“This is going to be a very long session.”
They went back over everything – almost everything – that had happened and finally there was nothing of their joint adventures left to tell. The room fell silent and after a few seconds Lillith looked up to see Albus and Severus exchanging a look. Albus rose.
“Well Lillith, this has been a long evening for you. The house elves have prepared a room for you that I’m sure you’ll find quite comfortable.”
Lillith tried to find a way to protest but Dumbledore was escorting her gently but firmly to the door. It opened and Winky, the house elf, was there waiting for her.
“Professor Sprout has been coddling your plants in the greenhouse and I know she is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.”
Lillith cast a look over Dumbledore’s shoulder to Snape but he had his back to her, staring out the dark window.
“Good night, my Dear.” Albus’ eyes were gentle. “You’ve done an excellent job.”
Lillith had no choice but to leave with Winky; furious at being dismissed like a child and grateful to at last be heading off to bed.
********************************
Chapter 18: Home at Last
Lillith awoke late the next morning to find a house elf placing breakfast on a table by the window. After eating and cleaning up, Lillith went to the greenhouses. She found Professor Sprout busy among some Mandrakes, humming happily.
They greeted each other as the old friends they were and went to see the plants Lillith had sent. They had survived the trip in excellent shape and were potted up in a corner of one of the greenhouses that was off limits to students.
“What do you think?” Lillith asked Professor Sprout.
“So far so good. Only time will tell us.”
They decided that half the plants would stay at Hogwarts and the other half go south with Lillith. If either group thrived and the other did poorly, they would combine them. Otherwise, they would be kept in two separate locations.
They were talking happily when Dumbledore arrived.
“I thought I might find you here.” he smiled gently. “Severus tells me that you sent some of the dried and preserved plants to a colleague in Edinburgh, is that right?”
“Yes, he’s holding them for me.” Lillith had almost forgotten about them.
“I was wondering -- if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind fetching them as soon as is convenient? Severus is already working on the ‘project’.”
Lillith was totally confused. “I thought he didn’t know what Voldemort wanted with the plants?”
Dumbledore sighed. “Voldemort summoned Severus last night. He has only returned an hour ago.”
Lillith felt faint. “Voldemort summoned him?” Her voice was weak.
“Yes. Don’t be distressed my dear, he’s perfectly fine; just tired. And he could use the plant matter.”
“Certainly; I’ll get it right away.”
She took leave of the two of them and rushed to leave the school grounds so she could Apparate.
Her friend in Scotland was glad to see her and full of questions. She sidestepped as many as possible and managed to leave after only one cup of tea.
Arriving back at the school, she realized she didn’t know the way to Snape’s lab so went directly to Dumbledore’s’ office.
“Wonderful, my dear, wonderful! Severus will be glad to get these.”
Lillith swallowed. “Is there anything I can do to help Professor Snape?’ She tried to sound casual.
Dumbledore laid a kindly hand on her shoulder. “I’m afraid not. Please know how grateful we are for all you’ve done and feel free to stay as long as you like.”
Dumbledore then left with the package she had brought and she felt rather like a dismissed child. But there was no point, she reminded herself, in acting like one.
Lillith and Professor Sprout packed up half the plants. Collecting her things, Lillith took her leave of the school, leaving a note of thanks for Dumbledore. From Snape she had heard nothing.
****************************************
Back home in her sunny workshop she unpacked the box she had sent herself and set the plants out in a shady spot. She sent an owl to Tonks to let her know where she was and that she wasn’t coming back to London right away. She was happily puttering about the gardens when Tonks arrived.
Tonks had brought two big bags of groceries on the (correct) assumption that Lillith hadn’t been out to shop since returning from her trip. They made themselves some lunch and sat under a big shady tree in the yard.
“So tell me all about it!” Tonks demanded as they set their plates aside and sat back with tall glasses of lemonade.
Lillith started in but Tonks stopped her abruptly.
“Not about the trip; about you and Snape.”
Lillith’s face went hard and she looked away. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Oh, Aunt Lilly,” Tonks was on her knees by Lillith’s chair, holding her aunt’s hand in hers. “I’m sorry. Was he awful?”
Lillith couldn’t help but laugh. “No, Tonks, he was not awful.”
“You fell in love with him?” It was almost a whisper.
Lillith sighed. “I think I may have.”
“And Snape?”
“What do you think? You’ve known him longer than I have.”
Tonks screwed up her face in concentration. “I’m sure he can. But,” she faltered. “I’m not sure he will.”
“Exactly.” Lillith sighed again. “And he has far too many other things to be thinking and worrying about right now.”
Tonks leaned her head against Lillith’s knee and Lillith stroked her hair with her bandaged hand.
Tonks looked up. “What happened to your hand?”
“Oh, nothing much. It’s fine, really.”
“Then why is it bandaged? You can heal most anything.” She sat up. “May I see it?”
Lillith started to protest when a voice cut across hers.
“Lillith, she’s right. It’s time to have a look.”
They looked up to see Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey walking around the house.
“Why did you bolt in such a hurry, my dear? You forgot to see Madam Pomfrey first.” His tone was only mildly reproving.
“I did forget.” Lillith felt like a child caught doing something wrong.
Dumbledore smiled. “No matter. Poppy and I were happy to have an excuse for an outing.”
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Tonks stood defensively beside her aunt’s chair.
Dumbledore held up his hand. “It’s all right Tonks. Your aunt suffered some injuries on her trip but she has assured me all is well know. I just thought it would be best if Madam Pomfrey gave her a checkup. That’s all.”
“Injuries? What kind of injuries?” Tonks demanded.
“Please,” Lillith stopped her. “Later.”
Tonks sank into a chair with a mutinous look on her face.
Lillith stood and Madam Pomfrey took out her wand and began scanning her from head to foot. Almost immediately, her hand faltered and her face became closed.
“What?!?” Tonks was on her feet again but Madam Pomfrey shook her head and went on with the scan a second time.
When she was done she looked quite shaken. Dumbledore helped her to a chair and they all sat.
“Lillith is fine now. But there have been some recent and very serious injuries.” Her lip quivered. “Your face.....”
“But I’m fine.” Lillith said firmly. “I was tended by a very talented mediwitch and nursed,” she faltered, “most excellently.”
Dumbledore sighed. “It’s time we took a look at your hand.”
“Yes,” Madam Pomfrey agreed. “I got a most peculiar reading off your hand.”
Knowing it would happen sooner or later – after all, she couldn’t go through life wearing a glove – Lillith unwrapped her hand.
“Merlin’s beard! What did that? I mean, why hasn’t it healed?” Tonks was on her feet again.
The scar was improving slowly and as it did, the brand stood out more clearly.
“That’s a magical injury.” Madam Pomfrey frowned. “From a wand?”
“Yes, I picked up Severus’ wand by mistake. He has a powerful protective spell on it.”
Tonks whistled. Dumbledore took her hand and leaned close to study it.
“You know how he found you, don’t you?” Albus asked.
The other two looked thoroughly confused but Lillith just shook her head. “I didn’t get around to asking.”
“It was his wand. There seems to be a connection between it and the brand. Or between Severus and the brand.”
“Does it matter?” Lillith frowned.
Albus rubbed his chin. “It might.”
Lillith suddenly felt a shiver of fear. “Could it put him in danger?”
Dumbledore look sad. “I don’t know. I’m afraid we’ll have to wait and see.”
Tonks had been studying the brand.
“Could it put Aunt Lilly in danger?”
Dumbledore gazed at her. “I don’t know that either.”
They sat for a while enjoying the shade and the lemonade and then Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey bid them a good afternoon and left.
“OK,” Tonks settled back in a chair with a mug of tea. “Out with it. All the details.”
Lillith laughed and for the next hour or so, told her niece the story. She left out the most personal details of course, but there was enough for Tonks to know they had slept together.
They sat in silence when she was through.
“Well.” Tonks was still taking it all in. Suddenly she grinned. “Was it good?”
“TONKS!” Lillith threw a napkin at her.
Tonks laughed, retrieving the napkin from the ground. “Well, was it?”
Lillith blushed furiously.
“I knew it!” Tonks shouted.
“Oh, Tonks,” Lillith laughed with relief. “I was so afraid you’d mind.”
“Naah. I’m glad for you.”
“I wonder, though,” Tonks looked worried. “You don’t think he minds, do you?”
Lillith thought about that. “I did wonder. He certainly was furious when he found out about us at Headquarters.” Her face fell. “He hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“When I stayed at Headquarters last summer, it never occurred to me that it would matter to Snape in any way. I mean, he’s always seemed so...... self-contained.” She scuffed a toe in the dirt. “Pretty thoughtless of me.”
“He’s a grown man, Tonks.”
Tonks couldn’t help grinning, “He sure is!”
****************************************
Chapter 19: The Monk’s Potion
Snape was utterly exhausted and in a foul mood. The summons from Voldemort had come just as he and Dumbledore were finishing up their conversation. Mercifully, it had been a short interview; the Dark Lord wanted to know if he had procured the plant yet. He seemed to know that Snape had gone looking for it and had returned but he didn’t seem to know that he had not made the trip alone. For that Snape was grateful. He still felt the danger to Lillith would be extreme if Voldemort knew she had been with him. Voldemort told Snape about an ancient potion he had uncovered in his reading; a potion that, administered with certain charms, allowed for total mind control by the person casting the charms. It was far more powerful than the Imperious Curse and there was no way to fight it. It also gave the taker superhuman strength and an inability to feel pain. Because of the potential for misuse, the potion had been banned for centuries and had all but slipped from memory. Several of the ingredients had become rather rare, the Purple Spotted Witches Cloak the most. Voldemort’s charge to Snape was to find the recipe and make the potion. Dumbledore’s charge to him, and Snape’s to himself, was to find a way to modify the potion enough to make it appear to work, but not really, or, failing that, create an antidote at the same time.
Snape had scoured the school library and his own not inconsiderable collection of books and hadn’t had any luck finding any information. He found one reference to the potion and a book where it was described but couldn’t find the book. He had sent owls to the Wizarding Library of London and also the one in Central Europe inquiring after the book. The European library had no record of any existing copies but an elderly wizard at the London Library thought he remembered that a copy was still extant. It was now in the private collection of one Lillith Marshbanks.
Snape paced his office. He did not need to think about Lillith. He could not afford to think about Lillith. Snape had never been one for introspection and he wasn’t about to start now. There was too much to do and too much riding on the outcome. Unfortunately he didn’t see any way around contacting her. He had to have the book. He supposed he could ask Dumbledore to ask her but that seemed childish. Sitting at his desk, he yanked open the top drawer and took out quill and parchment.
Lillith was in her garden when the great horned owl glided to a perch on a rock beside her and held out his leg. She wiped her hands on her apron and took the parchment with more than a little curiosity. The owl closed its eyes and waited, apparently having been told to expect a reply.
She unrolled the parchment and recognized the tidy, cramped writing immediately. There was no preamble.
“It has come to my attention that you may be in possession of the only known copy of Magical Plants and Their Applications by the monk Cadfael written in 1142. Recent events make it imperative that I be able to study certain passages of this book at length and respectfully request the loan of said book. Be assured that I fully appreciate the irreplaceability and fragility of this rare volume and will treat it with utmost care. The owl I have sent can be trusted to bring the volume safely to me if you would be so kind as to consent to its loan. I believe you understand the importance of this request.”
It was signed merely ‘S’.
Lillith raised an eyebrow then sighed. The cold formality of the note could have bothered her if she hadn’t refused to allow it. The game was afoot and far more was at stake than her or anyone else’s feelings. Personal issues would just have to go on hold for an indefinite period of time. He needed the book; he would have the book but she had no intention of entrusting it to an owl.
She went inside, dashed off a quick note and took it and a treat back out to the owl. She tied on the note, gave him the treat and stood back. The owl ruffled its feathers and gave her a baleful stare. Clearly, it was expecting something else.
“I’m not giving you the book, so shoo!” Lillith waved a hand at it and off it flew.
When the great horned owl fluttered to rest on Snape’s window ledge, he looked up eagerly then scowled when he realized the owl had no package. Surely she wouldn’t refuse the loan of the book? He unrolled the small parchment and read the brief note.
“The book is too rare to be trusted to the owl. I will bring it tomorrow morning at 10 am.”
It was signed ‘L’.
He couldn’t help smiling. Tit for tat. Then he scowled again. He really didn’t want to see her. He could not afford any distractions. But the book was irreplaceable so he could not blame her for wanting to bring it herself. He sighed and looked out the window after the departing bird. Without the book there was not too much he could do. He grimaced. Maybe he’d actually get a few hours sleep that night.
Promptly at ten the next morning there was a timid knock on Snape’s laboratory door.
“Enter!” He barked and the door was pushed open by a frightened looking house elf who took one look at Snape’s black scowl and ran. Lillith entered the room holding a book wrapped in a soft cloth.
Snape noted with inward relief that her face bore no signs of the brutal beating she had recently sustained.
She laid the book carefully on his desk. He glanced at her left hand but could not see the palm.
“I gather the potion you are looking for is at least mentioned in this volume.” She took a deep breath. “How may I assist you, Professor Snape?” She hoped the use of his title would reassure him that she was only concerned with the matter at hand.
“I don’t need any assistance.” His answer was ungracious in the extreme but she refused to let it ruffle her.
“Of course you don’t. I am, however, very familiar with the contents of this book and with most of the plants mentioned therein.” She stood absolutely motionless. “How may I assist you?”
Snape met her eyes for the first time. They were calm, her face open and utterly placid, her manner easy. When it came to potions, he was without equal and while his knowledge of magical plants was extensive, he had not her expertise and he knew it.
She was waiting calmly.
He took a deep breath. “I am charged with the making of an ancient potion that was obscure even in its day. I would like to be able to modify it, if possible, to better suit our needs without arousing the Dark Lord’s suspicions. We also need an antidote – something that was not available when it was created.” He swallowed and continued rather stiffly. “I would be grateful of any assistance you can provide.”
Lillith turned away to hang up her cloak and hide a wide smile. When she turned back, her face was once again smooth.
“All right then,” she looked into his bottomless eyes. “Let’s get started.” Suddenly she couldn’t help grinning, “I have a couple of ideas....”
Snape explained what Voldemort wanted and what he and Dumbledore had discussed. A lot would hinge on what was possible and that was what they needed to figure out.
At first his narrative was a bit disjointed but after he realized Lillith was going to be an excellent and attentive listener who asked pertinent questions, stayed on point and was totally professional, he relaxed and the conversation flowed easily. They soon moved to his private sitting room to avail themselves of his large collection on books, and house elves were kept running back and forth with more books from the school’s library. From her large shoulder bag Lillith produced a number of books that she had brought thinking they might be helpful. Several were rare volumes that neither Snape nor the school owned. He was delighted.
They were totally engrossed in their work, books and papers spread over his large work table when there was a hesitant knock on the door. A timid looking house elf stood there as though ready to bolt.
“Master Dumbledore said as I should bring you dinner and tell the lady that the same room was ready for her as before when she was wanting it.” The elf looked ready to faint.
Snape scowled and looked at Lillith. She shrugged and looked at the clock. Her eyebrows rose in shock. They had worked through lunch, through tea and it was now past the dinner hour. Snape looked apologetic and motioned the house elf to set the tray on his desk. The elf arranged the dishes and fled.
The meal started out rather awkwardly but soon Lillith asked a question and the discussion was on again. When a point came up neither was sure of, they left the half-eaten meal and moved back to the table. Soon the dinner was forgotten and they were deeply immersed in their books again.
Some time near dawn Lillith realized she could no longer read her own writing. Whether this was because it was written badly or because she just couldn’t focus she didn’t know. They had come up with what they thought might be the basic formula but were stuck on some of the details. She looked at Snape to find him watching her.
“This is a good place to break, I think. You look like you could use some rest.” His tone was one of observation, not command or criticism.
“As do you,” Lillith tried a small smile.
He responded with a slight quirk of his mouth. “Oh, I have a few hours left in me yet.”
Lillith felt a spurt of annoyance. “Well, I don’t,” she said emphatically, standing up and finding herself a bit unsteady. Snape was immediately at her side though he didn’t touch her.
“What about a bite to eat first.” He cast an apologetic glance at the half eaten meal still on his desk. “We didn’t exactly finish dinner.”
Lillith sighed and smiled wanly. “I couldn’t do it.”
She headed for the door and stopped with her hand on the latch.
“What is it?” Snape was watching her.
She leaned her head against the door frame and gave a tired laugh. “I don’t know how to get to my room.” She turned to Snape. “Would you summon me a house elf?”
He came forward and opened the door. “I’ll show you.” He waited for her to go first then walked beside her, guiding her around turns with a touch on her arm. By the time they had climbed two flights of stairs Lillith was starting to feel decidedly unsteady. Snape picked up on this and without comment took her arm.
“I should have realized you were not up to such a long session. You haven’t fully recovered yet.” It was close to an apology but Lillith wasn’t feeling grateful.
“You aren’t my mother,” she was grumpy with fatigue.
His eyebrows lifted at this unexpected response from the usually good-natured woman.
“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m just so tired.” She staggered a bit and leaned on the wall next to the door of her room. Snape opened the door and cast a quick glance around before stepping aside and allowing her to enter. She stumbled over to the bed and sat heavily; then tried to get her boots off. The laces knotted and she couldn’t get her fingers to work. She had about decided to sleep with them on when Snape closed the door, crossed the room and dropped to one knee beside her. Deftly, he removed her boots then, standing in front of her, he took her by the upper arms and hoisted her to her feet. She reached out instinctively to him for balance and in a few quick moves he had removed her outer garments and she was standing in her underwear. For just a moment his hands lingered on her hips but she didn’t notice; her head drooped with fatigue. The house elves had turned the bed down and Snape eased her back onto the sheets. She lifted her feet and tucked them under the covers and he pulled the quilt to her chin. She was already asleep and didn’t notice when he smoothed the hair from her face. For a long moment he stood watching her sleep and then was off in search of Dumbledore.
Lillith was confused when she awoke. The room was strange and the sun was high in the sky. Almost immediately she remembered where she was and leapt out of bed. The clock on the mantle read almost noon. She cursed herself as she quickly showered and dressed. Snape would think she was utterly useless, sleeping half the day away. When she yanked the door open she let out a squeak of surprise. A little house elf was standing there patiently.
“Master Dumbledore wishes as you’d have lunch with him in the Great Hall.”
Lillith hesitated only a fraction. “Of course, I’m on my way.”
When she entered the Great Hall it was almost empty. It was still a week before the start of term and there was only a small group around the big table. Snape was one of them – looking decidedly grumpy. She noticed that the lines of fatigue that had been etched around his eyes early this morning were gone and he looked freshly showered and shaved. Perhaps he had gotten some sleep after all. Most of those present were dressed far more informally than during the school year and it was a bit of a shock to see the professors in casual clothes. The exception was, of course, Snape. Although in black trousers and white shirt, with no jacket or robe, he was far less formal than usual. Dumbledore rose when he saw her, as did all the men. He seemed delighted to see her.
“Ah, Lillith, my dear! How are you feeling? Severus tells me the two of you were up all night working. You mustn’t let him work you like that.”
“On the contrary, Professor,” Lillith smiled. “He had to practically drag me to bed, I was so involved.”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized what she had said and flushed. The other teachers were suddenly busy with their placesettings or napkins and Snape was frankly grinning.
Dumbledore’s mustache twitched. “Well, such dedication is admirable, I’m sure.” He clapped his hands and a lovely lunch appeared. “Please, come and join us.”
Lillith was seated between Dumbledore and Professor Sprout and they chatted amiably throughout the meal. Snape was the first to rise and make his excuses and feeling guilty, Lillith soon followed.
They spent the day researching and writing. They wanted to be as sure as possible of the results before committing any of their limited supply of plant material to experimentation. They had tea while they worked and took a brief break for dinner at Snape’s desk. Sometime after midnight Snape put down his quill, closed his book and stretched.
“Well, I believe we have found the original composition of the monk’s potion.” Somewhere along the line they had taken to calling it that, as the monk’s book was the only mention of it they could find.
“I’d still like to know what that one line in Cadfael means: ‘Any elixir containing the Purple Cloak will be more amenable to the creator’s wishes when the plant is in the presence of its lifetime companion.’” Lillith was frowning over the ancient book.
“I know. I don’t understand that. As far as we can tell, it will do exactly as prescribed as it is.” Snape fiddled with his quill and thought out loud. “The potion, administered with a proprietary charm, will put the taker totally under the control of the charm caster. The control will last indefinitely and will work at any distance.” He frowned. “We still need an antidote.”
“Do we?” Lillith was also thinking aloud. “The potion needs to appear to work as it should or Voldemort will know right away. And how would we know who to give the antidote to, let alone how do we get them to take it?”
“And do you have an idea?”
“Well....” Lillith, staring into space, totally missed the teasing note in the question. “What if we could modify the potion in some way – say make it short acting instead of permanent? That would give the illusion of working and maybe give the person taking it time to get away from Voldemort.”
“All right, but how do we do that? The alkaloids in the plant are very stable and shouldn’t, based on our research, be very easy to manipulate.”
Lillith tapped the old book. “I wonder if that’s where our mystery line comes in?”
Snape nodded. “That could make sense. Another substance, when added to the mix, may make the effects of the plant easier to modify.”
Lillith shook her head. “It’s getting hard to concentrate.”
“I think that’s a good bit of work for the day.” Snape piled his papers aside.
“I’m not that tired,” Lillith was mutinous. Snape’s face was drawn and pale and Lillith suddenly realized how tired he must be.
“I’m sorry. Of course I’ll go.”
“Lillith,” Snape reached out as though to touch her arm but stopped just short. She watched him as he seemed to consider what he was going to say. “I am tired. We’ve gotten a lot accomplished and I think the next step will be to put some of our theories to the test. We should be sharp for that.”
She nodded, wondering why she was being so sensitive, then eyed him suspiciously. “Are you really going to get some sleep?”
He had risen and was standing by her chair. Looking down into her eyes he replied, “Would you care to stay and see that I do?”
Even as Lillith’s face went slack with astonishment, Snape’s closed like a slammed book. He strode over to the study door and yanked it open.
“Good evening, Lillith.” His face was stony, his voice icy.
Recovering, Lillith walked slowly to the door and stopped in front of Snape. She looked directly into his eyes and held his stare for a long minute. Not the slightest flicker of anything crossed his face. Finally she crooked one eyebrow.
“Good night, Severus.” She made it a soft purr.
He shut the door gently behind her and closed his eyes. After a minute, he crossed to his bedroom, extinguishing the lights in the study with a wave of his hand and fell face down, fully clothed on the bed. He was asleep instantly.
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Chapter 20: The Start of Understanding
A bare five hours later, they were back at work. Both were loath to actually start mixing the potion as they didn’t yet have any antidote or method of modifying it that they were comfortable with. By noon they were almost arguing.
Snape stood hunched over the table leaning on both hands. Lillith had her back to him, looking out the window without seeing anything.
“Maybe we need a break.” She was hesitant to say it.
“Maybe you’re right.” He hadn’t moved.
Her eyes suddenly focused on the sunshine outside.
“We could always go for a walk.” She laughed at the idea. “Have a picnic?”
“We could.”
Lillith started and turned in surprise. Snape had not struck her as the type to walk out his problems.
He gave her a rueful look. “During the school year I usually content myself with stalking around the school and grounds terrorizing the students, but sometimes even I enjoy a walk in the hills.”
“Well....” Lillith’s mind wasn’t quite sure where to start.
Snape seemed to sense her confusion.
“I would like to start with a hot shower.” Lillith looked surprised and Snape went on. “I skipped one this morning as I was anxious to get back to work, but I don’t think it was time well used.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Shall we meet back here in twenty minutes?”
“Right!” Lillith bolted for the door still not sure what had just happened. Snape was taking a break?
Twenty minutes later Lillith was showered, changed into jeans and an old shirt and at the door of Snape’s study. She knocked once and slipped in. He was just coming from the bedroom, tucking his wand in his belt. He had also changed into jeans; snug, black ones and was wearing a white, loose-fitting pullover shirt with an open neck, billowy sleeves and high tight cuffs. His jet black hair was soft and shining from the recent shower and hung in a silken curtain over half his face.
“Damn!” The soft expletive was out of her mouth before she could stop it.
“Pardon me?” Snape tossed back the curtain of hair. His face, caught off guard, was relaxed and without its usual scowl.
Lillith gulped. Snape frowned.
“What did you say?”
Lillith choked and without giving it any thought she said, “Severus Snape, you are one drop-dead-gorgeous, sexy man.”
The look of utter astonishment that flashed across his face was almost worth the black scowl that followed it.
“Well,” she rocked back on her heels. “You are when you’re not doing that.”
The scowl deepened as he pulled forward a pack that was sitting on the table and looked inside it.
“Did you send to the kitchen for lunch?”
“No,” she was grateful he was going to ignore her indiscretion. “Our psychic house elves again?” They had joked about how the house elves had always seemed to know when they needed food or drink.
“So it would seem.” He shouldered the pack and headed to the door, holding it open for her to pass. She waited while he secured the wards, then they walked side by side to the main door. With a wave, Snape indicated the direction they were to take and they walked in silence.
After about twenty minutes, they started to climb steadily. Another two or three miles and they were dropping over the top of a ridge onto the south facing slope, a view of the rolling moor stretching out before them. The sun was hot in the heather and bracken around them and Lillith was happy to see a little valley ahead with a grove of trees. She knew there must be a stream there and sure enough, soon they were walking in shade by the side of a small chattering brook. The trees ended abruptly and the stream tumbled down the hill in a series of miniature waterfalls among large boulders. Ferns and flowers grew among the rocks, living on the spray from the waterfalls.
Snape set the pack in the shade at the edge of the trees and Lillith, with a cry of delight, jumped down among the rocks to study the plants. Almost instantly she found a rare alpine flower growing with a common lichen. Pulling out the pad she always carried, she sketched and took notes for fifteen minutes before remembering her companion. She looked up rather guiltily to see him sitting on a blanket watching her.
Pocketing the notepad, she went back to where he was sitting and with barely contained enthusiasm told him about the flower. He nodded and looked smug.
“I thought you might find it.”
“You knew about it?” Realization dawned. “That’s why you brought me here.” I was a statement.
He shrugged as she sat, and he handed her a wine glass. Pouring, he nodded to the rest of the things. “The elves seem to think we might be thirsty.” There was a second bottle of wine.
Lillith raised her eyebrows. “I hope there’s something to eat as well.”
“Never fear.” He sorted through the pack and started handing her things. There was a crusty loaf of bread still warm from the ovens and wrapped in towels and several kinds of cheeses and apples, pears and grapes.
“Decadence!” Lillith was delighted with their feast. Even Snape seemed to gradually relax a bit and his face lost some of its tension as they ate, drank the wine and talked of anything but their work and the world.
Suddenly aware that Snape had stopped talking in the middle of a sentence she looked up. He sat with his knees bent and his forearms resting on them. His long, graceful hands hung in a relaxed fashion and one hand held a piece of apple. Resting on one finger, slowly opening and closing its wings, a butterfly paused, drinking the juice from the fruit. Snape sat perfectly sill, watching the living jewel on his hand. Time stood still for them until the delicate insect flew away. Lillith shook her head and looked off at the view.
“This is your place.” It was a statement.
“I come when I can,” his voice was soft.
She watched the man sitting quietly in the shade. The lean elegant body, the chiseled face, the curtain of satin hair.
“There are pictures of you, at the school.” She wasn’t quite sure how to frame her question. “You look.... different.”
He lifted an eyebrow and smiled. “The Greasy Git look?”
He sounded amused rather than annoyed so she went on.
“Yes. You look different. The same, but different.” She wasn’t saying this well.
Snape picked up a grape and turned it between his fingers. Watching, Lillith found her mouth had gone dry.
“You know the spell young witches – and maybe older ones as well -- use to enhance their looks? It doesn’t change them, just accentuates the good points and diminishes the bad.”
Lillith nodded.
Snape’s smiled widened. “It can be used in reverse.”
“Why?” Lillith was still hypnotized by the fingers rolling the grape.
He laughed. “I was 22 when I came to teach here.” He popped the grape into his mouth and Lillith transferred her gaze to his face. “The next youngest wizard on the staff was 65.”
“I see.” And indeed she did. “And it worked?”
“Mostly. I had always been a grumpy bastard so I just exacerbated the tendency and developed ’The Look.’“ He turned to her. The smile faded, the eyes opened wider even as the black brows drew down and his head tilted forward. At the point when it didn’t look as though it could get worse, one eyebrow rose ever so slowly up to his hairline.
Lillith drew back, then laughed. “I imagine that worked.”
He laughed with her. “Generally. If not, a detention or two scrubbing the dissection lab did.”
She studied his face but it was closed to her. Feeling her look, he turned his head to her briefly then lay back on the blanket, stretching out his long legs and crossing his ankles. His hands he folded behind his head. The snug black jeans accentuated some of the more distinctive aspects of his maleness and Lillith quickly looked away.
“Why didn’t you tell me that Tonks is your niece?” Snape’s eyes were closed and his voice drowsy.
“I didn’t think of it. I did mention her a few times but I didn’t realize that you probably wouldn’t know her as Dori. She’s not really a niece, more of a second cousin or something. With our age difference, she’s always called me “Aunt” Lilly. I know her; I know you know her. I guess I just figured you’d know who I was talking about.” It felt like hopelessly childish reasoning.
Snape was quiet for several minutes.
“Your niece is a remarkable young woman.” He sounded thoughtful.
Lillith couldn’t help smiling. “She is indeed.”
“Did she tell you that we have......” he let his voice trail off.
Lillith flushed and looked down. “Yes. She mentioned it.”
The sun was warm and the air around them was silent and sweet. Lillith was just wondering if Snape had dozed off when she felt his long fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck. She turned to find him sitting up, his face close to hers. His black eyes were smoldering and her eyes were drawn to his lips. She couldn’t look away as they came closer and closer and finally covered her own.
The kiss was long and seductive and when it finally ended she found herself lying on her back with Snape’s torso leaning over hers. She was aware of nothing except how much she wanted him and she gave herself up willingly to him.
His love-making was slow and exquisitely sweet. She followed his lead and their bodies moved in the oldest dance known to man. Three times his magic hands and lips brought her to climax and three times again, aroused her. She felt as though she would slip over the edge of madness as he brought her closer and closer to orgasm, then backed her away. Finally, when she was begging and pleading for him, he thrust inside her with a low growl and they began their dance anew. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she moved with him, trying to bring him further inside her. He held back until she was ready again and when she came, crying his name, he gave a final thrust and emptied himself within her.
For several seconds they lay in a tangle of arms and legs, then in one smooth movement, he rolled off her and to his feet. She got up as well and they stood back to back in silence, getting dressed. Snape started to pack up the picnic things and Lillith sat back down, knees bent, her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands.
Snape studied her back. He wanted to be angry -- with himself, with her. He didn’t know why he had done that. Well, yes, he had wanted her -- wanted her under his body, around his body. He had wanted her lips, her warm skin, her strong hands on his shoulders. He had wanted to be lost in the smell and taste and sound of her. He didn’t know why he wanted her so. Perhaps it was her tranquil disposition, her childlike pleasure in the picnic and the wildflowers, her anything but childlike mind and body. Maybe it was her complete acceptance of him exactly the way he was and exactly the way he was not, or her total trust. But he had nothing to give her in return. Not a future, not even a present. He saw her shoulders quiver. He had hurt her when he turned away and he discovered suddenly that this was important to him. He took a deep breath. There was one thing he could give her, if he had the courage. He dropped on one knee in front of her and she buried her face in her arms but not before he had seen a tear slide own her cheek.
“Lillith,” his voice was soft. “Lillith, look at me.”
She raised her head, wiping the tear off her cheek onto her arm, trying to school her face to a neutral expression. She didn’t want him to see her unhappiness; didn’t want him to see anything that would add to the burden he was already carrying. She met his eyes and hers grew wide. She did not need to be a trained Legilimens; he had opened his soul to her. She could see all the pain, the fear, the loneliness, the worry, the guilt – every last corner of his soul was open to her inspection. And she saw the love. Love and passion so strong it took her breath away. She gasped and blinked and once again his eyes were shuttered to her. She stared for a long moment but his face gave nothing away. Slowly, he sat back beside her and picked up the bottle of wine.
He handed her a glass and poured half the remaining wine into it, then the rest into his own glass. He raised his glass to her in a silent toast. They spent long seconds looking into each other’s eyes. With so much to say, they said nothing at all. They clicked their glasses together and sipped the wine. The afternoon sun was starting to make long shadows on the distant hills. Severus’ arm came up to Lillith’s shoulders and he nestled her to his side. She turned her head and ducked her face to briefly brush her cheek against his collarbone. The shadows continued to grow as they sat together drinking the last of the wine.
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To be continued in Part 5