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Title: The Wizard’s Tale: A Continuation
Part 5 contains chapters 21-24
Chapter 21: Lifetime Companions
When the wine was gone, Snape rose to put the glasses carefully into the pack. Lillith announced her intention to take one last look at the plants and was off down the rocky slope, jumping from boulder to boulder. Snape was just finishing stuffing the blanket into the pack when Lillith let out a cry. He was at her side, wand at the ready, in a moment. She was practically jumping up and down in her excitement. He scowled and ordered her to calm down in his best schoolmaster’s manner but she only laughed and shook her head.
“Sorry but look! This flower,” she pointed out the little white alpine flower, “always grows with this lichen. Always. Just as the Purple Witches Cloak always grows with the Twining Morning Star.” She looked at Snape with undisguised glee and saw comprehension dawning on his face.
“Lifetime companions!” They said in unison.
“Could it be?” Lillith asked. “I’ve never heard of the Twining Morning Star being used in magical potions, but perhaps its use is confined to tempering the Purple Spotted Witches Cloak?”
“Possibly,” Snape was frowning in thought. “I don’t know much about it – we’ll have to analyze it to be sure.” He quirked a smile at her. “But I think you may have an idea here.”
So eager were they to get back to work that they Apparated to the school gates and then hurried inside. Lillith headed for the greenhouses to get some of the plant and Snape went directly to the lab.
The dinner hour came and went and still they worked on. It didn’t take long to extract the active ingredients and analyze them. They then sat down and drew up a plan for brewing the potion. With the addition of the Twining Morning Star, they felt they could modify the potion so the effects would only last about 20 minutes. This, they decided, would be a good enough length of time for Voldemort to think the potion was working but hopefully not time for too much damage to be done. They debated the relative merits of pupfish scales verses ground stag beetle carapace for stabilization and decided on a combination of the two.
Finally they sat back and looked over their work.
“The only thing we haven’t factored in is the all important ‘magic ingredient’,” Lillith’s smile was rueful.
“I think I can handle that part,” Snape looked weary but relaxed.
“Severus,” Lillith watched him closely, “even if this works as we hope, it will only fool Voldemort for a short time. Then what?”
Snape’s face stiffened and his voice was carefully even. “I imagine he’ll be quite displeased.”
Lillith started to reach for his hand but stopped almost before she had moved. Severus closed his eyes and took a long, slow breath through his nose.
“Almost everything we do is just to buy us time. Time to try and figure out how to defeat him.”
“Will he kill you?” Her voice was strained almost to breaking but she had to ask.
Snape grimaced. “He’ll want me to fix the problem, so I doubt it. Though I may wish he had.” This last was said so quietly she almost didn’t hear it. He stared at the tabletop.
“My God!” Lillith’s voice was a whisper. Snape waited, fully expecting her to give an angry outburst; to rant and rave and tell him he couldn’t go to Voldemort. Then he’d have to try an explain the obvious to her. He waited in vain. After a few moments of silence, he looked up at her. The pain was raw in her face; the tears flowed down her cheeks but she didn’t move, didn’t say a word. Her love for him shone from her eyes but there wasn’t a trace of doubt.
“We will win. There is no other option.” Her voice trembled with emotion.
He looked away and swallowed. “Thank you - for not fussing.” His voice sounded unaccustomed to the words.
Lillith made a hopeless gesture with her hand. “So,” she wiped the tears from her cheek, “let’s get this made.”
They had decided to use the oil that the Purple Spotted Witch’s Cloak had been stored in to extract the active ingredients from the Twining Morning Star. They strained the plant material from the oil, heated it and poured it over the bruised leaves of the green plant and left it to steep. They figured 6 hours would be enough. While Lillith took care of that part of the work, Snape started to mix the rest of the potion. They were done with their respective parts of the process about the same time and habitually set the work area to rights before leaving. When the lab was tidy they took one last look around.
“What time is it?” Lillith didn’t really sound interested.
“About two,” Snape’s voice was tired.
Lillith nodded and headed for the door.
“Lillith?” She turned. Snape looked distinctly ill at ease but he held her gaze. “Will you stay with me for what’s left of the night?”
She was in his arms before she knew she had moved. “I will stay with you forever!” It was a fierce whisper that she made sure he didn’t hear.
“I have nothing to give you.” He sounded desolate as he stroked her hair.
She held him hard. “You have given me everything.”
“I have no future.” His voice cracked.
“We have tonight.” She was determined not to let this strong man falter.
He stepped back from her and smiled. “We do have tonight.”
They walked side by side to his rooms and quietly locked and sealed the doors.
They started with a long exploratory shower, taking the time to familiarize themselves with every nook and cranny, every square inch of the other’s body. They laughed at the feeling of two bodies slick with soap sliding against each other. The kisses were long and deep and spoke volumes.
In bed, Snape became more forceful, demanding things of Lillith she never would have dreamed of giving any man. But she gave willingly, sensing his urgent need to be in control; knowing that it had nothing to do with her, knowing it had everything to do with the fact that he would soon give himself into the hands of a monster who had no compassion, no mercy. There were times when she was afraid but it was fear of the unknown, not of the man whose strong hands and body mastered hers. She gave herself to his every whim with a total trust and the knowledge that she would come to no harm. He brought her pain, exquisite pain mixed inseparably with pleasure. He brought her new things she had never thought to try and things she could never have thought of at all. Some time after her forth or fifth orgasm she lost track of the world. She became a creature of sensation, all thought suspended, as he played with her. She even stopped seeing; there was nothing for her but his voice and his hands. Through it all, the silky voice guided her, reassured her, comforted her. She clung to that voice as to a life line, knowing nothing else but that and physical sensation.
He claimed every inch of her body as his own and when he finally took his release driving into her with brutal force, she came with him, crying his name.
He lay atop her, his weight supported on his forearms. She had her arms and legs wrapped around him and knew only that she never wanted to let go. In the back of her numbed mind she also knew she must, perhaps forever.
“Stay here,” it was a husky whisper in her ear before he disentangled himself from her and disappeared into the bathroom. Moments later he was back, lifting her easily and carrying her into the steamy room. Ever so gently he lowered her into the hot, fragrant water of the tub. She winced as the water came in contact with some very sensitive places, but the pain was soon soothed away. As gently as a mother with a new baby, his long, strong hands washed her all over, even her hair. Slowly, she returned to the present, to the room, to the man beside her. When he was done, he slipped into the tub with her and allowed her to do the same for him. When they were done with the essentials, they lay in each other’s arms utterly exhausted and content.
The water began to lose its heat but Lillith, asleep on Snape’s chest, didn’t notice.
“Come on,” he kissed her forehead. “It’ll be more comfortable in bed.”
Lillith stirred but didn’t open her eyes. “Speak for yourself.”
Snape gave a low laugh that rumbled against her ear. In one graceful motion he stood with her in his arms and stepped from the tub. A murmured spell on the way to the bed had them dry and another spell had the bed remade with fresh linens by the time he lay her upon the sheets.
She was asleep as he curled himself around her, holding her as close as he possibly could. He had tried to drive the daemons from his mind and for a time, he had succeeded. He smoothed her hair from her face but she didn’t stir. He had been rough with her, unrelenting in his demands. Not only had she not given a whimper of protest, she had struggled to be with him every inch of the way. She had given herself totally and selflessly to him. He knew without ever needing it proven that there was nothing she wouldn’t give to him. He realized with a start that there was nothing he wouldn’t give to her. It was a totally new concept for Snape but before it could worry him, he was asleep.
******************************
Chapter 22: Success!
Something was brushing Lillith’s cheek and tickling her face. She tried to turn her face away but it didn’t work.
“Come on, Lillith. Wake up.” Snape was loath to wake her but they needed to get back to work on the potion.
Lillith grunted and opened one eye. Snape was kissing her cheek and it was his breath tickling her face. She propped herself up on the pillows and took the mug of tea he offered.
“What time is it?” Her voice was groggy.
“Time to get up, “ was his infuriating answer. She glowered at him and he couldn’t help but smile. It was so unlike her to be out of sorts. Sure enough, she returned his smile, proving that her grumpiness was an act. Mostly.
He ran his hands gently over her body, pausing where there were tender spots and applying gentle pressure, healing any lingering soreness or hurt. She stretched luxuriously under his touch and reached up a finger to touch his cheek.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” He couldn’t help but look suspicious and she laughed.
“For whatever.” She let her fingers trail down the wall of his chest and across his thigh. They came to rest on his knee.
He gave her a long unreadable look and rose from the edge of the bed.
“Do you need to eat first or can you get to work? The potion should be ready for the final mix now.”
She scrambled out of bed. “Slave driver.” He had the decency to look momentarily chagrined and she chuckled as she quickly pulled on clothes.
She drained the tea as she walked to the sitting room and set the empty mug on the coffee table.
“Lead on, Boss,” she waved at the door.
He crooked an eyebrow at her as he unsealed the door and held it for her.
“Ever the gentleman. Even while working a lady to death.” She couldn’t help teasing him.
He didn’t respond but she thought she saw a bit of a smile at the corners of his eyes.
Once in the lab, they quickly prepared for the final steps of the potion making. Lillith strained the plants from the oil and heated it gently. Snape heated the remainder of the potion and as soon as they were at the right temperature, he slowly added the oil. Stirring this way and that and murmuring incantations, Snape added the final essential ingredient: his magic. Anyone could put the ingredients together but it was the magic of the witch or wizard that made the potion work. The more complex and powerful the potion, the more powerful and skilled the creator needed to be. Lillith knew she was watching a master. When all the oil was added, he touched the surface with his wand. The liquid glowed a deep purple and silver sparks rose from the surface to disappear almost instantly. He set his wand down and raising the beaker of potion, held it to the light. It was opaque and still a deep purple. He examined it carefully, then set it aside and covered it with a clean cloth.
“Two hours to cure and we can test it.”
They looked at each other and Lillith laughed. “Shall we draw straws?”
“Don’t be ridiculous! I’ll be testing it.” He scowled at her.
“Don’t YOU be ridiculous! You will do no such thing. You are far too valuable. Besides,” she forestalled his argument, “you are the wizard of power here. You need to be the one to cast the charms.”
“As if you couldn’t.” His voice held biting sarcasm.
She shrugged. “Perhaps, but frankly, I’d rather trust you.”
Something in her simple statement made him swallow what he was going to say next.
She rubbed the side of her nose. “Will Dumbledore let us test it?”
Snape’s smile was sneaky. “Of course. If we don’t tell him.” He raised a hand to cut off her protest. “I should have said, if we don’t tell him until it’s too late. You’re right,” he responded to her unspoken thought, “he needs to be here, but it doesn’t have to be until the last second.”
Snape glanced at the clock in the corner. “Breakfast.”
Lillith started. “Is it time?”
“Indeed. Time for breakfast in the Great Hall.”
“Then, maybe time for a nap?”
The almost desperate tone in her voice made him smile. “Maybe.”
He escorted her out of the lab and up to the Great Hall.
Dumbledore rose to greet them, a welcoming smile on his face.
“So good to see you here! If the house elves didn’t report that you occasionally ate some of the food they brought, I might not have believed you were still alive.” He eyed them closely. “Though perhaps a bit the worse for wear.”
Lillith was taking a gulp of tea when he continued.
“Not driving you too hard, is he my dear?”
Visions of their early morning in bed flashed through her mind and she choked on her tea.
“Not at all, Albus. It’s been an exhilarating experience.” She didn’t dare look at Snape.
“Well that’s nice, I’m sure.” Dumbledore’s eyes were twinkling and Lillith had the sick thought that he knew exactly what they had been up to. She promptly plunged into conversation with Professor Sprout.
Lillith was practically dozing off by the time breakfast was finished and stood listening in a haze as Snape and Dumbledore talked by the door.
“An hour and a half, then?” Albus was watching Lillith closely as she swayed gently on her feet.
“That’s right, Headmaster. In my sitting room for a progress report.” Snape seemed to be unaware of Lillith drowsing at his side.
“Fine.” Dumbledore looked over his glasses at Lillith, then at Snape. “Don’t let her fall down the stairs.”
Snape looked affronted. “Of course not.”
The Headmaster smiled and headed off towards his office.
Snape took Lillith’s arm and headed for his rooms. As soon as they were out of sight of the Main Hall he slipped his arm around her. Half way down the stairs he gave up and lifted her into his arms. She was asleep on his shoulder when his door opened at a word and she didn’t wake when he placed her on the bed and covered her with a quilt.
She knew only oblivion until Snape’s voice once more coaxed her into consciousness.
She groaned and buried her face. “Not again! Not already!”
“Sorry, Sunshine,” he didn’t sound sorry at all. “Dumbledore will be here in a minute.”
Lillith struggled up off the bed and headed for the bathroom. She attended to her immediate needs then washed her hands and face and stared into the mirror.
“I look as though I’ve aged a hundred years,” she thought as she brushed her hair. Then thought of what was to happen in a few minutes jolted her awake and put butterflies in her stomach.
She hurried into the outer room to find Snape pouring off a few ounces of the potion he had brought from the lab. It was now crystal clear and a light lavender in color.
He saw her but didn’t smile. His usual scowl of concentration was on his face instead.
“This should be enough. Do you want to go over what we’re going to do again?”
She nodded. “I’ll take the potion. You cast the charms to put power over the potion in your hands alone.” She gulped and looked at him. “Then you’ll tell me to do various things. I’m to try and resist. We’ll test for increased strength and,” her voice quivered a little in spite of her best efforts, “resistance to pain. We’ll time the whole thing. It should wear off in 15-20 minutes.”
“It should.” He held her eyes for a long minute. They were confident the potion would perform as expected; the one thing they weren’t sure of was whether or not it would indeed wear off. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take it?”
She realized what it cost him to offer and tried to make light of it. “Do you really want to take the chance of being totally in my power for the rest of your life?”
A peculiar look twisted his face for a moment before he looked away.
“I suppose you’re right.” His voice sounded strained.
There was a knock at the door and the Headmaster stepped into the room smiling his gentle smile.
Lillith gripped the glass in her hand. “We’re just going to test the potion, Sir.”
“Test it!” Dumbledore was aghast. “You didn’t tell me it was ready for testing. Severus, you can’t test it on Lillith!”
Snape smiled grimly. “I admit, there are a few students I would prefer to test the potion on but as they are not yet of the age of consent and their parents might not approve – not to mention the fact that they aren’t here – we’ll have to settle for the volunteer to hand.” He was watching Lillith closely for any signs of doubt on her part. Her face was serene and confident.
“Headmaster, you will certainly agree that neither you nor Severus can take the potion, so that leaves me.” She smiled her most charming smile at him. “Besides, there is absolutely no danger.”
“How can you say that?” Dumbledore sputtered. “It’s experimental!”
Lillith continued to smile. “It was prepared by the best Potions Master of our time with the capable assistance of an expert on magical plants and their uses. It cannot fail.” She looked to Snape. “I have absolutely no qualms about putting my life in Professor Snape’s hands.”
With her eyes on Snape she lifted the glass and drank. The liquid had a slight viscous feel to it and a light, flowery taste that was rather pleasant. As soon as she had drained the glass she locked her eyes on Snape’s. He pointed his wand at her forehead and murmured a charm. She felt absolutely nothing.
Dumbledore gasped but Snape’s eyes never left hers. He cocked an eyebrow.
She shrugged. “No sensations at all.”
Snape glanced at the clock then nodded at Dumbledore. “Slap him.”
Before the words were completely out of his mouth, Lillith’s hand had shot out and slapped Dumbledore hard across the face. They both gasped.
“Albus, I’m sorry!” Lillith was horrified.
“Again!”
Again Lillith slapped Dumbledore even as she protested.
“Severus, stop it!” She was horrified.
He quirked a smile.
“Slap me.”
Her hand shot out a third time but he was ready and caught her wrist. With no effort at all she wrenched her hand free and connected with Snape’s face. The blow was hard enough to knock him off his feet.
“Well,” he said straightening back up and shaking his clothes back into place. “There is certainly an increase in physical strength.”
He gave a quick glance at the clock and pulled over a lab burner. Touching it with his wand he caused it burst into purple flame. He centered it on the table between Lillith and himself. He nodded at the flame.
“Put your hand in the flame.”
Dumbledore started to protest but fell quiet. He knew the flame would not damage the flesh but that for most people it would be extremely painful.
Lillith held her hand in the flame with no apparent discomfort.
Snape nodded and she set her hand back on the table top. He extinguished the flame with a nod and glanced at the clock again. Lifting his wand he pointed it squarely at her chest.
“Crucio!”
Several things happened at once. Dumbledore shouted, “No!” and lunged toward Lillith who merely blinked and sat back a little. Snape on the other hand, let out a cry of pain, dropped his wand fell backward to the floor.
Dumbledore froze in confusion as Snape hauled himself to his feet for the second time in 10 minutes. Slowly he picked up his wand and stared at it as if it might be alive.
One more look at the clock and Snape turned to Lillith again, though with a little less assurance.
“Slap me!”
She blinked. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough abuse for one day?” Her question was mild.
Relief made Dumbledore sag into his chair and even Snape smiled as he sat back down.
“What happened?” Albus demanded.
“I think,” Snape looked rueful, “that when I cast the Crucio curse, the potion protected Lillith but the curse traveled back through the brand on her hand to my wand. I zapped myself with my own curse.”
Lillith was feeling giddy with the success of the potion. “Serves you right, bully!” she tossed at Snape. The warmth of the look he sent her back made her tingle.
Albus shook his head and pulled his chair closer to the table and reached for quill and parchment. “All right, let’s get this down.” The professor in him was taking over.
“Lillith, were you fighting Severus?”
“Well, yes and no.” She was thoughtful. “There was nothing to fight. No feelings, no sensations; my mind seemed perfectly normal. There was just pure reaction to his commands. It was as though his words -- no, almost his thoughts, were going straight to my nervous system. The first I knew I had hit you was when I saw it happen. It was like watching someone else’s hand.”
“She was certainly much stronger than I expected,” Snape added. “I couldn’t hold you,” he looked at Lillith, “and I was trying.” He nodded at her wrist which was turning black and blue. He reached out a finger and stroked it. The bruise instantly disappeared. Albus’ eyebrows rose in surprise, but he didn’t comment.
“Was there any pain at all, my dear, from the flame or the curse?”
“Not from the flame. The curse produced a bit of a tingle but that’s all. Mostly it was in my hand.” She glanced at her palm and noticed the scar was standing out more lividly than usual.
“How long did the effects last?”
It was Snape who answered. “Between 15 and 17 minutes.”
“Well,” Dumbledore sighed. “You two have done an amazing job,” his voice grew stern, “though I don’t approve of all your methods.” He shook his head and his voice was strained when he asked, “When are expecting the next summons from Voldemort?”
“Tonight or tomorrow night,” Snape’s voice was stony cold.
Lillith stopped breathing. She fought to keep all expression off her face and didn’t look at Snape.
Dumbledore seemed to age before her eyes. “We’ll call a meeting of the Order this evening.”
He stood and looked from one to the other of them. His eyes were kind. “Well done.”
After he was gone, Lillith and Severus continued to sit at the table and not look at each other. Snape let out a long shuddering breath.
“Perhaps I should try and get some sleep.” He didn’t move.
Several minutes later Lillith rose and without a word, came round the table. Taking Severus by the hand she led him to the bedroom where he stood passively while she undressed the both of them. Climbing into bed they held each other tightly while they slept.
******************************
Chapter 23: A Banishment, a Summons and a Pledge
Lillith was alone when she awoke. She knew when she slept that she would be alone on awakening but for just a moment a feeling of desolation swept over her. Mentally shaking herself, she rose and headed for the bathroom. Completing her short ritual she came back to the room and dressed, thinking wryly that she really ought to go to her own room and change her wardrobe. With a sweep of her wand she tidied the room and went into the sitting room. Her eyes widened when she saw the tall clock by the fireplace. It was almost 5. A quick glance around the room told her the only unusual item was a folded parchment lying on the large work table. She picked it up and opened it but her eyebrows rose as she stared at a blank sheet. Then, with a slight shimmer, flowing writing appeared. She knew instantly it wasn’t Severus’ and glanced at the signature to confirm that it was from Albus Dumbledore.
My Dearest Lillith,
Words cannot express the gratitude I have for your efforts on behalf of the Order and, indeed, the entire Wizarding World. You have shown the courage and dedication of which true heroes are made. It is with regret that I must ask one more favor of you.
Please, Lillith, go home. Do not come to the meeting tonight.
It must never be known that you worked with Professor Snape on this project. All at the school have willingly had their memories modified so they cannot give the information away. The danger to you would be very great if Voldemort were to learn of your connection to the monk’s potion.
Perhaps I am being a sentimental old man (Lillith smiled at this) but I believe I noticed a certain understanding between you and Severus. While I celebrate this, if it is true, I also shudder in fear at the danger it could bring to both of you. Voldemort is above nothing when it comes to getting what he wants.
It is unfair, but I ask that you go home and try to disassociate yourself from the activities of this summer. The Order will, no doubt, selfishly call upon you from time to time as needed and Tonks will keep you up to date on all developments, but please, dear Lillith, for the sake of so many, separate yourself from us as much as possible.
I am Forever Your Humble Servant,
Albus Dumbledore
Lillith shook with anger. How dare he! She squeezed her eyes shut and a single tear escaped to run down her cheek. How dare he ask of her what she already knew she must do! She tossed the parchment on the table where it crumpled itself into a ball and, in a swoosh of flame, disappeared.
Lillith knew that if Voldemort even suspected there was a chance he could use threats to someone’s safety as leverage over Severus that he would. She could not bear to put Severus in that position no matter what the personal cost to herself.
What hadn’t occurred to her is that Voldemort might think she could create or modify the potion herself. While she certainly had the skill to put it together, she had not the power to make it work. That sort of power lay with very few; perhaps only one. She shuddered. If they could just end this all!
She shook her head. If wishes were rainbows......
But they weren’t. Lillith quickly went to her rooms and, putting her things together, left the school. Once outside the gates she Apparated and was soon standing in the middle of her kitchen. The late afternoon sun slanted in the windows and showed the dust of neglect on all the surfaces in the room. The friendly home that usually cheered her seemed to mock her solitary existence. For the first time in years, she felt lonely. And she was hungry.
Leaving the house for later, Lillith threw her pack in the closet and walked the short distance to town. There wasn’t a large wizarding population in her little town and they didn’t have their own stores or gathering places. Most of the wizards inclined to keep company who didn’t want to go to London went to the local pub. They fit themselves in quite well with the Muggles and, except for always winning at darts, were generally well liked. There were occasional remarks about odd behavior but for the most part they got on well enough so as not to be noticed.
Sliding onto a stool at the bar, Lillith ordered a sandwich and cider. Jim, the bartender, greeted her like a long lost friend and asked after her trip to Europe. Lillith covered her surprise as she realized that she hadn’t been home from her trip long enough for anyone to notice before she had gone off to Hogwarts. She didn’t clear up his misconception and they chatted in a friendly fashion until her sandwich arrived from the kitchen. Corned beef stacked high on thick, homemade rye with tomatoes and lots of sweet pickles - just the way she liked it. She ate hungrily and, feeling much better, got a second pint of cider and went to watch the darts match that was in progress.
Lenny, a long-limbed wizard from the other side of town was winning handily, as usual. This bothered the locals even more as Lenny was, generally speaking, rather clumsy. He came to stand beside her between rounds.
“Do you really think it’s best to beat them every time?” She spoke quietly as he took a long drink of his ale.
“I can’t help it; I’m that good!” He grinned at her skeptical look. “You don’t think I’d cheat do you?”
He looked so outraged Lillith had to laugh. She slowly sipped her cider, enjoying the congenial company of the locals.
It was sometime later that she strolled home in the moonlight feeling a lingering warmth from the evening.
As she opened her front door, the lights came on, just as she had charmed them to do. Stepping over the threshold she gasped. Standing in the center of the room were Tonks, Dumbledore and two other wizards she didn’t recognize. All had their wands pointing squarely at her. Tonks recovered first.
“Where have you been?” She demanded.
Lillith’s usual good nature frayed. “I have been out getting something to eat and trying to get back into the rhythm of my life. I did not realize I had to report my every move to someone.”
Tonks immediately looked chagrined, but Lillith refused to feel guilty. Dumbledore nodded to the two strangers and they were gone with a crack.
“I’m sorry, my dear,” Dumbledore held out a hand. “We knew you were not at the school so Tonks came her to fill you in after the meeting. Seeing no sign of you, she was very alarmed. She came back to Headquarters and we accompanied her here.” He waved vaguely in the air. “That was Jenson and Miggs, come to help search for you. I’m afraid we feared the worst.”
It was then that Lillith noticed the lines of strain around his eyes.
“Sit, please.” She indicated a comfortable armchair and she and Tonks sat on the couch. “I just went to the Local for something to eat. It seemed,” she looked around, “too empty here.”
“Perfectly understandable. I guess we did panic a bit.” Dumbledore sounded very tired. “Severus tried to assure us you were all right, but Tonks was rather beside herself.”
“I see.” Lillith wasn’t quite sure how to take that particular reaction of Severus’.
Dumbledore seemed to know her thoughts. “He seemed to feel that if you were in any danger, he would know.”
Lillith curled her fingers over her scar and nodded. Severus would think of that.
“He was summoned shortly after the meeting.” Dumbledore’s voice was low.
“Dear God!” It escaped as a moan. She felt as though she had been punched in the stomach.
Tonks immediately had her arm around her.
“Lillith, please.” Dumbledore hurried to reassure her. “He’s been summoned dozens of times. He always comes back.”
Lillith’s laugh had an edge of hysteria to it. “So that means he’ll be safe!” She almost hated Dumbledore.
“No. Just that we can hope. And pray. He took the monk’s potion.” He looked exhausted.
“Then I guess we just wait.” Lillith sighed. “How long is he usually gone?”
“It varies.” Dumbledore’s answer wasn’t helpful in the least. He stood. “I need to return to Hogwarts. Severus always returns there.”
“I’ll stay with Aunt Lilly,” Tonks spoke up.
Dumbledore nodded and with a crack, was gone.
They sat together for a few minutes in silence before Lillith stood.
“I’m going to bed,” was all she said. Climbing the stairs she undressed and crawled under the covers where she lay, hugging herself, and staring into the darkness.
She must have dozed because she awoke when Tonks sat on the edge of the bed. She was alert in a second.
“It’s ok,” Tonks laid a hand on her arm. “He’s back. He’s fine.” Her voice hardened. “Voldemort was very pleased with the potion.”
“For now,” she heard the catch in her own voice.
“One step at a time, Aunt Lilly. One step at a time.” She could hear the fear in Tonks’ voice.
“I’m going, if that’s ok. I have work to do.” Tonks sounded apologetic.
“Now?” It was the middle of the night.
“’Fraid so. Aunt Lilly, I promise -- I will let you know of anything that happens that even remotely concerns Snape or the potion. I promise.”
“Thanks, Dori.” Lillith patted her arm.
Tonks disappeared with a crack and Lillith was left alone with her fears.
The next day, Lillith spent putting her house and garden to rights. The daughter of a local Muggle family helped her in her garden and workshop during the summer holidays and after school. A lot of the herbs were ready for harvesting and they were kept busy during the long hours of summer daylight. The girl had a natural flair for working with the plants and Lillith enjoyed teaching her to make the non-magical items in her stock -- the liniments, skin creams, lip balm, headache remedies and such. The girl was a quick learner and delighted in hearing about the histories of the plants as well as how to use them.
The days passed in a haze of activity and heat. Tonks reported faithfully every few days though there was no news. The term had started at Hogwarts and for a time, things were quiet. The days stretched to a week and more.
Lillith ached for Severus. Ached for the sound of his voice, the touch of his hands, his quiet company. She knew he would not risk contacting her; knew it had nothing to do with his feelings for her; knew all this and ached for him still.
One particularly hot day, Lillith sent Amber – her Muggle apprentice – home for the afternoon, the heat being simply too much to work in. Lillith had spent the afternoon reading under her big shade tree and had then gone into town to the market. Vegetables she raised herself but she needed things from the dry goods store and the butcher, as well as fruit and a bottle of wine. It was just dusk when she returned home carrying her bags and parcels. She had lightened them magically so carrying them was no chore. The front door was open and she was just setting her purchases on the kitchen table when an owl sailed in and landed by the sink. He had a small package attached to the leg which he extended helpfully. She took the package and absent-mindedly gave the owl a treat from a jar on top of a cabinet. She didn’t even notice when he flew off, winging silently out the still open door.
The package had no name on it. No writing at all. She hesitated, then, withdrawing her wand touched the package lightly and cast a charm. Nothing happened. Stuffing the wand back in her skirt pocket she took the package into the light of the lamp. Unwrapping it carefully, she checked the inside of the paper for any sign of a note. There was none. Finally, there was nothing else to do but open the small box. Inside, in a nest of cotton wool was a small pendant on a chain of braided silver. It was a teardrop of smooth crystal the size of her thumbnail. Magically imbedded inside the stone was a small object. Turning up the lamp, Lillith turned it in her hand. The light was caught by the crystal and thrown around the room in a dozen rainbows. Lillith saw none of them. Her eyes were glued to the tiny Alpine flower nestled against a piece of lichen. Her hands trembled as she raised them to fasten the chain around her neck. She fumbled with the clasp and felt a warm tingling in her fingers. When she tried to lower the necklace to see what was going on, it wouldn’t come. Crossing to a mirror that hung by the door, she turned the chain to see the clasp. There was none. The chain had magically braided itself into a seamless, silver loop. It could not be removed.
Tears flooding her eyes she dropped on the couch and for the first time, wept with longing for the man who had so quietly pledged himself to her.
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Chapter 24: The Inseverable Tie
A few days later Lillith was working in the garden when her hand started hurting. At first she thought she had just strained it until with a shock she realized it was the scar that was hurting.
She was swept by a wave of panic so strong she doubled over where she knelt in the dirt.
“Ms Marshbank?” Amber was concerned for her mentor.
Lillith fought off the panic and smiled at the worried girl.
“It’s ok, Amber. Just a bit too much sun, I think. Why don’t you run along for the day?”
“Ok, if you’re sure you’re all right. You look a bit pale.”
“I’m fine.” Lillith assured her as she rose to her feet a bit unsteadily. “Just run along and I‘ll see you tomorrow.”
Amber put the tools away and left, casting a last look over her shoulder at Lillith on her way out the gate.
The gate was barely closed and Lillith was running into the house, tearing off her hat and apron on the way. She almost collided with Tonks in the kitchen. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Lillith had grabbed her arms and demanded, “Where is he? What’s happened?”
Tonks looked stunned. “Aunt Lilly, we don’t know.” She pushed her aunt down on the kitchen stool. “He went to London for the weekend and Voldemort must have summoned him. We didn’t know anything was amiss until he didn’t show up for classes today. What do you know? How did you know he was gone?”
Lillith leaned her head in her hand. “I didn’t know anything. I don’t know anything. Only that my hand hurts.” There was a crack and Dumbledore himself was standing in Lillith’s kitchen.
“Albus! You have news?” Lillith was on her feet.
“Some – not much.” He gestured toward the living room. “Can we all go sit?”
“Of course.” Lillith hurried them into the living room where she perched on the edge of the couch.
Dumbledore told what news he had:
Sunday night, while on his way to a meeting of the Austrian branch of the Order, Meredith’s husband Jon had gotten a message. No one was sure of the details as Jon was now injured, but it seemed he was somehow warned of an impending attack on the meeting. He passed on a strange message to the others about how there was going to be an attack of the Death Eaters but they should not try to fight them. Instead, they should try to avoid them for 15 or 20 minutes and then defend themselves vigorously. They were discussing this when the attack came. Not from the doors or windows, which were being watched, but right through the back wall of the house. It was reported that the Death Eaters were simply tearing the place apart with their hands. For several minutes there was utter chaos as the men tried to avoid the Death Eaters, then someone shouted, “Now,” and they returned the attack. The Death Eaters were beaten back with ease as something had clearly wrong-footed them. Over half of them were killed or taken prisoner. Jon, it seemed, had recognized among the dark hoods and masks a familiar figure. He was sure it was Lillith’s “Dark Wizard” and was sure it was he who had called the signal to return the attack. So confident was he of Snape’s identity and allegiance that he had thrown himself in front of a comrade just as the man had leveled a curse at Snape. Snape had escaped with a graze across his arm but Jon was in the hospital. He was badly hurt but expected to live.
“Jon will be alright?” Her voice was tight as a bowstring.
“Yes, Lillith. He will be fine in time.” Dumbledore was watching her closely.
“And Severus? He wasn’t badly hurt?”
“No. As best the other men could tell, it was just a graze. They still don’t know about Severus, of course. Jon wouldn’t say anything, except to me.”
Lillith swallowed and then asked the obvious.
“Where’s Severus now?”
Dumbledore touched her arm. “We don’t know. He went away with the other Death Eaters.”
“And this was last night?” Her voice was getting tighter. “Why is my hand only starting to hurt now? Where is he, Albus?”
“Lillith,” he moved beside her on the couch. “We just don’t know.”
She dropped her head into her hands. The little crystal swung forward on its chain and bumped her chin. She took a deep breath and raised her head.
“Then I guess we wait.”
Dumbledore looked immensely relieved.
“I’m sure Tonks will stay with you and I’ll send word as soon as we know anything.”
Lillith closed her eyes. Staying here was probably the same as being at Hogwarts. There was no guarantee Snape would return there and with Apparation, it almost didn't matter where she was. Almost.
“I should be getting back.”
The Headmaster rose, but Lillith just nodded and remained sitting on the couch. Tonks followed him to the door and after a few quiet words, he departed.
Tonks took over, making tea and toast and getting Lillith to shower off the garden dirt and change into clean clothes. After a light meal, they sat in Lillith’s library. Tonks read and Lillith stared at the wall. About 10, Lillith took pity on Tonks and went to bed so she could stare at the ceiling.
It was about 11 when the first of the pain hit. Lillith screamed and doubled up as the pain ripped through her. Burning, searing, feeling as though every nerve ending were on fire, she screamed again and again. She couldn’t breath; couldn’t draw enough breath between the screams. Tonks was at her side in a flash, crying and pleading with her to be ok.
After several minutes, the pain stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Dumbledore’s face swam into view.
“What’s going on?” Lillith’s voice was a cracked whisper.
Dumbledore wiped the sweat from her face. “We think it’s the Cruciatus Curse. We think that Voldemort’s using it on Severus and some of his pain is coming through the scar to you.”
“Some of the pain?” She was incredulous. “Some? He’s having more pain than this?”
Dumbledore looked uncomfortable. “If Voldemort is using the Cruciatus Curse, then probably yes.”
Before she could respond, the pain struck again. Blinding in intensity, it felt as though her very blood were boiling. Somewhere between the screams she thought of Severus. Of what his pain must be. Suddenly her perspective on her pain shifted. She stopped trying to fight it. Tried to get her body to relax. Tried to allow herself to go with the sensation rather than fighting it. The pain stopped again and she lay with her eyes still closed, panting and trying to remember something from the Muggle Yoga class she had taken. Something about letting go of feeling; something about how if you stopped fighting it, the pain would flow through your body and out. She was working on preparing herself when the pain struck again. Her back arched so that she was lifted almost all the way off the bed, but she concentrated -- concentrated on not fighting, on drawing the pain to her and letting it pass through. The pain did seem to lessen a bit. She felt a little less helpless and just a tiny bit in control but it took concentration and strength and she wasn’t sure how much she could stand. That thought passed through her mind between attacks and she laughed aloud. This caused great distress in Tonks and Dumbledore but Lillith couldn’t explain.
“Wasn’t sure how much she could stand? Like she had a choice? What did she think she was going to do?” Her mind was almost out of control.
It was then she felt a wave of admiration for Severus. He could do something to stop his pain. He could give Voldemort what he wanted. But he wouldn’t. She knew that. Then, just before the pain hit again, she thought that maybe Severus couldn’t save himself even if he wanted to. Maybe Voldemort didn’t want anything. Maybe he just wanted to punish Severus.
Sometime between attacks, Dumbledore moved them all to Hogwarts. She now lay in a private room in the infirmary with Madam Pomfrey, Tonks and Dumbledore all hovering around her. Her body was too weak to writhe in pain any more, her throat too raw for more screaming, but the pain was no less terrible and she screamed in silence. She continued to try to draw the pain, to let it float away. Between attacks, they bathed her face in cold water and gave her ice cubes to suck on. After two hours, she passed out.
She came to with a start. There was noise outside her door; hushed voices in the hallway. She bolted out of bed and promptly collapsed. She struggled to her feet and, moving more cautiously, got to the door feeling as though she had had a thorough beating. Opening the door a crack she looked into the hall. Had she had any voice left, she would have cried out. Across the hall they were settling Severus into a bed. What she could see of him was dirty, bloody and unconscious; his body jerking and writhing. She started across the hall and Tonks caught her as she almost fell.
“Let me go!” Lillith croaked out.
“I will, Aunt Lilly, I will! I wouldn’t even think of trying to stop you. Just, please, how about a robe and some slippers.”
Lillith realized she wore nothing but a nightdress and she was already shivering in the warm night air.
“Here,” Tonks propped her against the wall. “Wait here; I’ll get them.”
She was back in a flash and helped Lillith into the slippers and wrapped a heavy robe around her. Quickly she told Lillith what had happened.
Shortly after Lillith passed out, the attacks stopped. Dumbledore had immediately sent people out to search around the periphery of the school and before long, Hagrid, with Fang, had found Snape’s crumpled, unconscious body by the main gate. He was alive, his only injury the nasty but not serious graze on his arm from the fight in Austria. But the torture had left him unconscious. Dumbledore explained in a hushed voice that prolonged use of the Cruciatus Curse could leave “after shocks” of pain, which she was seeing now. Not to mention leaving a person weak and sore.
Lillith merely nodded, all her attention on Severus. Madam Pomfrey sniffed that she shouldn’t be out of bed but Dumbledore chuckled.
“You may want to deny her access to your patient, Poppy, but you won’t succeed. My advice is to use her skills to lighten you task.”
With that, he and Tonks left and Lillith and Madam Pomfrey worked together in silence on the unconscious man. They charmed away his clothes and bathed him, looking carefully for any outward injuries. Madam Pomfrey took over the healing of Snape’s arm while Lillith dressed him in warm pjs. They were hospital issue – as far as Lillith knew, Snape slept in the nude – and she couldn’t help but smile at what his reaction was going to be.
When they were finished, Madam Pomfrey tucked several blankets around him.
“Keeping warm’s the thing. The body’s had a hard time of it.” She looked at Lillith closely. “What about you? Are you warm enough? You should be in bed, too.”
Lillith shook her head. “I’m fine. And I’m not leaving.”
“Didn’t say anything about leaving.” Madam Pomfrey humphed. She picked up the basin of water and bandage scraps. “Transfiguration was never my strong suit, but some people have been known to make these beds wider.”
The door closed behind her leaving Lillith open-mouthed in astonishment. Then with a smile she pulled her wand from her robe – Tonks must have grabbed it from the night stand – and made the bed a bit wider. Removing her robe she climbed in beside Severus and moved close, but didn’t touch him. Their combined heat soon made the bed comfortably warm and her exhausted, bruised body fell asleep.
Sometime near dawn Lillith was awakened when Severus gave a start. He was lying on his back, rigidly straight, arms at his sides. She started to reach for him then stopped. With whatever inner daemons he was fighting, a touch might not be welcome. Instead, she moved as close as she could without coming in contact, letting the warmth of her body reassure him she was there. For long minutes he lay barely breathing, then she became aware of him gradually relaxing. His breathing became easier but he still didn't move. She waited, perfectly still. Another five minutes passed before he rolled over and drew her close. She sighed and nestled into him, waiting for him to sleep. When at last he did, she lay awake a while longer enjoying the weight of his arm over her and the feel of his breath in her hair.
For the first time, Lillith awoke before Snape. She edged carefully out of bed so as not to wake the sleeping man. Tiptoeing out of the room, she blinked in the light of the hall. It seemed to be late morning. She padded down the hallway and found Madam Pomfrey in her office with Professor Dumbledore. They helped her to a seat and Madam Pomfrey brewed her a cup of special tea to ease her still-raw throat while Dumbledore sent a house elf in search for clothes for Lillith to wear. Lillith had drunk half the tea and Madam Pomfrey had checked her over before they would let her talk.
“How often?” She cleared her throat. “How many times has Severus come back like this?”
Dumbledore looked exhausted. “Not so many you can’t count them on one hand. But several lifetimes too many.”
“Is there permanent damage?”
“Not physically,” it was Madam Pomfrey who answered in the dry voice of disapproval. “The after-shocks of pain seem to wear off in an hour or so. At least, they have so far.” Her face was pale.
Lillith ran a hand through her hair and appealed to Dumbledore. “How does he do it? How can he go back? Why does he go back?”
“The how, I honestly don’t know. He is a man of remarkable courage. The why,” he hesitated. “That is for him to say, if he wishes.”
“Does his going gain anything for the Order? Is it worthwhile?”
“His courage has saved many lives; the information he provides is invaluable. He is the only one who can say whether the cost is too high.”
A house elf returned with robes for Lillith. After changing, she went back to Snape’s room. She slipped noiselessly inside and sat by the bed. After several minutes he startled her by speaking.
“I thought that was you.” His voice was low and rough and his dark eyes were haunted.
“How did you know?” She tried to make her voice light.
He gave her a ghost of a smile. “You don’t fuss.”
Lillith picked up a glass of water with a bent straw and held it for him to drink.
“Shall I get Madam Pomfrey?”
“Not yet.” His voice had eased a little. “What are you doing here?”
“Dori was at the house last night when he...,” her voice faltered, “when it started. She summoned Dumbledore and they got me here.”
His eyes closed in pain and she had a hard time not reaching out to him.
“I was afraid of that. The pain was so much less this time; I feared you were sharing it.”
“Less?” The word came out a croak.
A sad smile flitted over his face. “Yes, it was considerably easier to bear, this time. I tried not to let it show but I think he knew. I think that’s why it went on so much longer.” His voice trailed off and Lillith sat quietly, too horrified to speak.
His face suddenly twisted with a different kind of pain. “I am so sorry.”
“No!” Lillith’s outburst startled them both. “Don’t you dare apologize for what that monster did! Don’t you dare!” Tears were running down her face.
Snape sat up slowly and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. Reaching out, her pulled Lillith into his arms.
“It will not happen again.”
“What do you mean? How can you be sure?” She pulled away and angrily wiped the tears away. “He’s not expecting you back?”
“Oh, he’s expecting me all right. He wasn’t happy about the potion but I managed to convince him I hadn’t known about the short duration of the effects. He expects me to fix the problem and report back in two weeks.”
“But,” Lillith was confused. “Then how can you be sure....” She gulped, “how can you be sure he won’t...”
“I can’t. That’s why I won’t be going back. I will not take the chance of that happening to you again.”
Lillith was furious. “You have to! Too much is riding on you!”
“You want me to go back to Voldemort?” He was genuinely surprised.
“Of course I don’t! I want you as far away from that fiend as possible but what I want doesn’t matter.” She stamped her foot. “Don’t you see? If you don’t go back it will be the same as if he knows about me. You’ll be giving him the leverage he needs against you.”
Severus stared at her for several long minutes, then gave a chuckle. The pain of it caused him to grimace and he reached for the water glass.
“I not sure anyone would believe,“ he set the glass back on the table, “that the terror of Hogwarts’ teaching staff is being lectured on the subject of dereliction of duty by a small, angry witch.”
Lillith was immediately chagrinned. “I’m sorry... I didn’t mean... Of course...”
“Of course,” he cut across her, “you are right.”
He reached out and touched her cheek. “Are you sure, Lillith?”
She swallowed. “Absolutely.”
He nodded slowly. “Then we carry on.”
There was a soft knock on the door and Dumbledore looked in.
“Ahhh, you’re awake, Severus. I thought I heard voices.” He came in the room and was followed by Madam Pomfrey bringing tea.
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To be continued in Part 6