Jesse Delacroix

Keep walking, and running

And running for miles


Ain't going back to Barton Hollow
Devil gonna follow me e'er I go
Won't do me no good washing in the river
Can't no preacher man save my soul
...
Miles and miles in my bare feet
Still can't lay me down to sleep
If I die before I wake
I know the Lord my soul won't take

April 2020

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Jul. 5th, 2014

017

Adrian left a message on my phone last night, apparently they've found a buyer for the house. Full asking price, too. I called him back this morning, he's going to wire half of it to me. So Jay, we should set you up with a bank account or something.

Now that the house is sold, that's the last thing to be wrapped up in the wake of that man's death. We don't ever have to go back if we don't want to, not that I'd ever planned to anyway. Getting Jay will likely be the last time I was there. And I'm pretty OK with that.

Jun. 23rd, 2014

016

My cast is off, thank fucking god. I can ride my bike again, it's fucking awesome. It's still a little tender if I put all my weight on it for too long, but the doc says that'll get better as time goes on. I'm off the meds and I can walk properly again, and that's what I care about.

Just in time to go house hunting, but that's the breaks, I guess. Balances out in the end, you know? I think.

Made sense in my head.

Jun. 18th, 2014

015

I get my cast off tomorrow, thank all the gods there ever were. I am so sick and tired of having to wear this damn boot all the time. And I'll be able to walk and ride the bike and not hate all the stairs ever.

So yeah, that's the highlight of my week.

May. 13th, 2014

014

Going back to Louisiana reminded me just how much it wasn't home anymore; it hadn't really been home since I was 16. I wasn't real keen to leave New York, but now everyone that matters to me is in the same place, so it was worth it in the end.

Made an appointment to see the doc in a couple of weeks, to see how my leg's healing up. I've been in this cast for six weeks, and I am so fucking ready to get it off again. I miss walking at a normal pace. And riding my bike. And basically doing anything that isn't sitting around watching crappy TV for most of the day.

I'm fairly certain someone will have to stop me from taking a saw to my cast.

Apr. 16th, 2014

013

[JJ]
My father is an even more manipulative, controlling bastard than I ever thought. Though I don't know why I'm surprised. Jay's going through Hell, and I can't do anything, and I just want to scream, or crawl into a bottle until I feel better. Which I can't, because you remember what happened last time I drank while on my pain meds.

Mar. 29th, 2014

012

[Text to JJ, Nicholas, Victor, Diana]
In the hospital. Broken leg, two cracked ribs. Someone please come spring me.

[Additional text to Diana & Victor]
The delivery was stolen, I'm so sorry. There were four of them, and they caught me by surprise. Italian, I think, if that helps.

Mar. 1st, 2014

011

[JJ, Nicholas, Joey, Nikkie]
Mardi Gras is on Tuesday! My father wasn't a huge fan, but once I managed to sneak away and go see the parades. One of the many things I miss about home.

But! I'm having a little party at my place on Tuesday, and you're all welcome to come if you'd like. I ordered a king cake from a bakery in the Quarter, because...go big or go home, it's Mardi Gras! And there'll be beer and food and jazz, because why the hell not?

Dec. 16th, 2013

010

Found these at a flea market this past weekend. Don't know why I felt they had to come home with me, but apparently they did. I put them in my window, and strung some lights along my balcony railing. Those are my concessions to the holiday, and it kind of does brighten up the place.

It's better than a few years ago, when I was just a scrooge. Thankfully, things have turned around since then.

Dec. 8th, 2013

009

Felt really accomplished last night, managed to make myself dinner and not fill the place with smoke. And then I just sat around and watched old movies most of the night, because seriously, y'all: fuck winter. I ain't going out if I don't have to.

[JJ]
New job seems to be working out pretty well. I don't have to choose between eating, keeping the heat on, or, god forbid, fixing the bike if it breaks. Thanks again for helping me out.

Sep. 20th, 2013

008

Doc finally said I don't have to wear the boot to walk anymore, which is nice. Only took five weeks. Damn thing itched something fierce. He did tell me to keep taking it easy for a few more weeks, though.

After I was done at the doctor's (he cleared me to ride my bike, too, I could have hugged him), I headed to the garage to tell Aaron I could be back on light duty for the next couple of weeks. Which is when he told me he's selling the place to a developer.

It's closing at the end of October. Now, Aaron's 64, been working on bikes for about 45 years, I don't begrudge him his retirement at all. But this does mean I need to find another job, and I really like this one.

Balls.

[JJ]
I know you have something like three jobs...any of 'em looking for more people? Even if I do find another full or part-time job, they won't pay me what Aaron did, and it's pretty much impossible to live on minimum wage.

Aug. 21st, 2013

007

[Strikes not readable]
Happy birthday to me.

Not going out, because, as previously stated, liquor and my pain pills do not mix. But Jay called, sang happy birthday on my voicemail. So that was nice. And I ordered pizza to celebrate. Look out, I'm going craaaazy.

God, I wish Mom was still alive.

Aug. 10th, 2013

006

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet. For those of you who have never owned a motorcycle, allow me to take this opportunity to inform you that kickstands exist for a reason. Would you like to know what that reason is? You would? Alright then, I'll tell you. It is to keep that expensive, heavy, and rather unwieldy piece of machinery from getting damaged, falling on the ground, or possibly injuring someone if it tips over.

Well apparently the new guy at the garage was not informed of this, and the center stand wasn't all the way in place, or something, because I had a Harley fall on my foot yesterday afternoon. Three broken toes, thank you so very fucking much. Thankfully I've got health insurance through the garage, and Aaron's got me on sick leave while I heal up, but still. That fucking hurt, and he should know better. This job ain't anyone's first rodeo, and that's one of the first things they teach you. Put the damn kickstand down.

I mixed whiskey and my Oxy. (That was probably not a good idea.) I'm pretty sure I can see sound. Or hear color. Something.

I'm actually kind of surprised I haven't gotten injured on the job before now. Either I'm just lucky, or I got some kinda angel lookin' out for me.

Aug. 5th, 2013

005

Gonna be 26 in about 2 weeks. It feels like...well, nothing special, really. I'll probably feel differently once I hit 30, but that's still 4 years away. Plenty of time until I have to start making noises about how I'm getting up there.

I feel like Jayden would laugh at me for saying that. Which: fair enough, really. 30 ain't that old.

I seem to have gotten into a habit of posting songs a lot on this thing. And who am I to break tradition?

Mumford and Sons, 'Broken Crown' )

Jul. 26th, 2013

OOC: Soundtrack

 photo 3e5f9f62-db72-471c-a6dd-32b8473cd829.jpg

Baby, you a song

Jul. 14th, 2013

004

I heard this song on the radio the other day, and it just made me think of my father, almost instantly. In between laughing and nodding. It's about a guy who's mad at his ex-girlfriend, but it could really fit almost anyone.

Jaron and the Long Road to Love, 'I Pray For You' )

I would also like to add, I don't actually condone anyone doing any of these things. Violence is not OK. But Daddy did always say I should pray for people.

The bitterness is always a bit more concentrated around this time, since it's the 8 year anniversary of getting thrown out. Wish Mama was still alive. Really wish that.

Jun. 22nd, 2013

003

Jayden called yesterday, told me he got accepted into NYU and Penn State, and pretty much every other place he applied. He's so fucking smart, whatever he wants to do with his life, he's gonna be top-notch. Mama would be real proud of him if she was alive, and I told him so.

He asked me if I ever regretted not going to college. And I told him the truth, which is: yeah, every now and again. I had plans to maybe go to a state school, but that didn't happen. And that's OK, I've made peace with it. I don't think college and I would've meshed anyway.

Jun. 13th, 2013

002

If y'all don't listen to The Civil Wars...you really should. I love them, they're a permanent fixture in my music. Here, have a listen.

Barton Hollow, The Civil Wars )

Reminds me a little of home. And not in a 'hate-filled, kneejerk' sort of way.

Jun. 6th, 2013

001

I'm thinking of riding up to Maine for Fourth of July. Never gotten to see that particular bit of country, always wanted to. And it'll be nice to get some time off from the garage, god knows I could use some of that.