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[uJ via Google cache] is it called manic depression or bipolar disorder now? [11 Sep 2003|02:03am]
[ mood | better ]

back a few entries, i ended with "it's way too early in the year to be this fucking sick of it already. it's got to be something else." and now i'm thinking that one of those really down periods snuck up on me... it's been so long since i hit such a low point without feeling it coming. it's strange to be so much better (not good, but okay) right now and to be able to look at it and see that it was totally without rational basis. i know it's not the first time. it's just the first time in a few years that i've had one of those without feeling it as i went into it. those of you that've been reading me for a while know i talk about that creeping feeling, when it's coming, i know it's coming, and there's nothing i can do about it but endure it knowing it's not real (well, it's real, but it's unfounded? i dunno). this last bit was just so hard because i didn't have that knowledge when i was in it. sorry if it scared any of you. i think it scared the hell out of me. hell, one more reason why i should call my doctor, eh?

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