InsaneJournal

Man: I thought we had something special, something transcendent, and then I was dumped for a lesbian goat.
Woman: Poor boy.
M: I tried to win her back. I brought her flowers. She ate them. I rubbed myself with lanolin; nothing worked. She said I was too conservative for her. I said I wasn't. She said prove it. I said how. She said do it with me and the goat.
W: And you did?
M: No!... I just watched.
W: You watched a sheep and a goat.
M: And a cow.
W: A menage a trois.
M: And a goose.
W: A menage a quatre.
M: And two pigs.
W: A menage a menagerie.
M: Yes.
W: That must've been some turn-on.
M: No, it was awful! I thought what she and I had was magical, I, I, I... (Breaking down:) I loved her.
W: Buddy, you're in deep sheep.