InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hmmm...you're strange!"

Jess Van der berg (insolentia_) wrote,
@ 2016-07-22 00:10:00

Current mood:

uncomfortable

[Away from Baddies]

my due date is in like a week and a half which basically means i could shart this kid out any moment now and all of a sudden i am sue i am going to be a horrible mother?

like...how on earth did i ever think i was qualified to do this?

and yeah, i know this is normal. doesn't mean it doesn't suck tittys.

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	cup_of_joey 2016-07-21 09:24 am UTC (link)
	Jess, you're going to be an awesome mom! You're already the best aunt! I felt the same way with Olivia, and still do sometimes, but honestly you'll be great with your boy. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 09:24 am UTC (link)
	i am a sex worker and a drug dealer! i love my jobs but i should not be a mom! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cup_of_joey 2016-07-21 09:25 am UTC (link)
	Uhhhhhh you're a what now? I mean not the dealer thing, I knew that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 09:26 am UTC (link)
	people pay me and i fuck them. not for a while since i'm huge and it's not safe but that's my job and i love it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cup_of_joey 2016-07-21 09:27 am UTC (link)
	Right, I know what a sex worker is. I just didn't know you were...are? one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 09:27 am UTC (link)
	surprise. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cup_of_joey 2016-07-21 09:29 am UTC (link)
	Jessica, I think if you know anything about me you'd know I'm pro sex workers rights. I was just a little shocked you hadn't told me, that's all. And I don't think that has shit to do with what kind of mother you'll be. Those two things have nothing to do with the other. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 09:29 am UTC (link)
	sorry. hormonal. right. no i know that, i just...panicking. i am panicking. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cup_of_joey 2016-07-21 09:30 am UTC (link)
	It's okay! Right. I'm going to come over and give you a delicate hug, and then we're going to go over a checklist one thing at a time so you'll know everything is ready and in place, and you can relax. Okay? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 09:31 am UTC (link)
	best big brother ever. can you bring two roasted chickens with you? i want two roasted chickens. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cup_of_joey 2016-07-21 09:32 am UTC (link)
	I'll bring three, just in case. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	sat_by_the_fire 2016-07-21 09:33 am UTC (link)
	Hey, sex workers unite, right? I like to think I'm an awesome step-mom. You'll be the best, JJ. Fact. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 09:34 am UTC (link)
	<3 i think i am in love with you a little bit, lena rainmayr. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sat_by_the_fire 2016-07-21 09:34 am UTC (link)
	It's okay, babe, the feeling's mutual. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jdelacroix 2016-07-21 10:03 am UTC (link)
	Cher, you will be an amazing mother. You'll see. I love you. Want me to come sit with you for a while? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-21 10:08 am UTC (link)
	i love you too. and i always want that. i'm just panicking. joey's coming over too. we can all crowd onto nicky's bed and have a cuddle pile? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jdelacroix 2016-07-22 05:33 am UTC (link)
	Then I shall appear. That sounds like a really good plan. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-22 08:35 am UTC (link)
	i love it when you do that. i thought so too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

aspectabund
2016-07-22 04:53 am UTC (link)

I basically thought the same thing throughout my entire pregnancy. Tommy and Joss basically had to remind me that worrying about everything was only going to raise my blood pressure, which in turn would make my doctor mad at me.

Anyway. Back on topic. Real talk: like you said, this is normal. It does suck titties. And you'll probably feel this way for a while. But this too shall pass, as they say, and you'll go from doubting yourself to feeling like, 'I will cut any motherfucker who breathes wrong in their general direction'.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	likesachallenge 2016-07-22 04:56 am UTC (link)
	Pretty much all of the above. Also, Joey and I will be around a bunch if you need us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-22 08:38 am UTC (link)
	thank you so much. you're the best sister i could have ever asked for. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	likesachallenge 2016-07-23 06:26 am UTC (link)
	I'm happy that I get another awesome sister to add to the family, and that it's you. And if you ever need me, I'm only a phone call away. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	insolentia_ 2016-07-22 08:37 am UTC (link)
	ugh my blood pressure has been so high this entire pregnancy, considering the shit we've dealt with. i'm kind of shocked everything has gone as well as it has. it's really good to hear it from someone like you because you're an awesome mom. i need to hear these things since i can't ask my own mom and i just- i don't know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

aspectabund
2016-07-23 05:47 am UTC (link)

I don't think anyone could blame you for that, but if the baby is healthy, then it should be OK in the long run.

Aww, well thank you. I'll let you in on a secret: I leaned on Tommy pretty heavily for the first six months or so, and I've been winging it a lot after that. I mean, I get advice from professionals and stuff, but I've also learned to trust my instincts a lot. I used to think that was a bunch of crap, turns out, it's really not. What you think is for the best, or is going to work, generally is/will. Second-guessing myself tended to make me worry more, so I had to force myself to stop doing it. Which took a while, but eventually I got there.

Long story short: you will be great. And you can always call me, or one of like...six other people if you need to.

(Reply to this) (Parent)