Walden
Walden, I have alwaysjumped to conclusions. It is not just with you, and it is not just since being an adult. I'm hostile, snappy, catty, bitchy and aggressive. Not to mention mean. I'm also insecure and needy. Again, not just with you, not your fault, and not in any way a reflection on how I see you. I can try not to jump on whatever you say and I can try not to assume you are a member of the vast hoards of people who don't care about me and I can try not to be a bitch. But that's what it is. Trying. It's not natural for me and it's not easy. Sometimes Ill slip up. It doesn't mean I don't love you and it doesn't mean I haven't forgiven you.
I know you're closer to Ben these days than I am. He hardly even talks to me. I'm sorry that I try and cling on too hard to what we used to have. I miss him.
I can't stand for you to not come home every time I fuck up. I'm not perfect and I need to feel like, you know, that's okay. Please, just come home.