[Locked to friends]

Joey is alive and in hospital but he never wants to see me again. He's so angry that we couldn't help him. He said it's my fault that he went through it and he's right. If he hadn't known me Lucifer never would have hurt him. Never would have killed Neil.

He slapped me too. Threw water at me and called me a useless slave. I can't blame him. I am useless. One of my best friends was in pain and I couldn't help him and now he hates me.

I don't- I don't know what I might do.