I honestly think I believed my feast day might bring her back.

It didn't.

The twins are home though, and Mairead is too. Ella's still with Jacob, which is fair enough. I'm trying to hold it together. I'm doing better than I was before. I have to do better, I'm a father now.

Fuck, I miss her so much.

Feast day was a nightmare and a half. Imagine experiencing an entire country worth of drunkeness while grieving. I think I've come out the other side of it now, thankfully. I even checked in at work.

I just have to get on with things until she comes back.