InsaneJournal

When Pottermore was first released, the first house I was sorted into was actually Gryffindor, but I never felt like that fit me.

J.K. Rowling, due to her open distaste for our house, has not made it easy for people to like us, due to her need to shove almost all the bad guys into Slytherin. People like me are trying to reclaim the house in a positive light and break the 'bad guy' stereotypes without deviating from the core values of the house, altogether.

I love a lot of the Gryffindor characters, don't get me wrong, they're lovely, but I just didn't see myself as fitting into that House. Over the years, I've taken the Pottermore sorting quiz multiple times and it's put me in Slytherin more than anything... but now I think I definitely kind of deserve it because I detected the patterns in the questions and the answers to make sure I got put into Slytherin, anyway.

Cunning, anybody?

Jokes aside, the traits / values of Slytherin as we all know, are:

• Resourcefulness
• Ambition
• Cunning
• Determination
• Shrewdness
• Self-Preservation
• Cleverness
• Leadership
• Fraternity

Out of sheer curiosity, the other morning I asked my best friend Adrian what he thought made me a Slytherin. His first answer was very tongue-in-cheek but he did give me a deeper answer after I not-so-subtly told him to give me something a little more profound.

"Deeper, twat" I believe was the phrase used. It's a very loving friendship, hahaha. That being said, I'll get started. If I think of anything else after all this, I'll add to it.

Resourcefulness

This is part of the "those cunning folk will use any means to achieve their ends" thing.

I am short. My short arms and legs do not stop me from getting things, however.

Can't see something higher than eye level? Easy, I'll use the camera on my phone to become "taller".

Can't reach something? I will use a stick or something I can use to pull my desired object closer to me. A Muggle's "Accio". An extendable arm, if you will. Do I look ridiculous? A bit, yeah, but I got the thing I wanted.

The world is my oyster, honestly.

Ravenclaws like having knowledge for the sake of having knowledge. They like learning. They probably watch nature documentaries just because. I do too, but I like having knowledge so I can use it at a later date, heaven forbid a situation ever comes up where I need it. I like practical knowledge. I feel where Ravenclaws are book smart, Slytherins are book-smart but also street smart.

We're the patron saints of life hacks.

Shit like 'using the little Dorito bits in the bottom of the chip bag as fire kindling'. If you accidentally spill nail polish on the floor, you can clean it up easier if you dump sugar over it. You can use a dry-erase marker to erase permanent marker off a white board, even if the permanent marker has been on there for a very long time.

We don't necessarily care how it works, we just like the fact it does work.

I like knowing online links where I can read books I don't currently have the hard-copies of, so then I don't have to spend my money.

Knowledge is power, blah blah blah, all that jazz. There is a lot of information swimming up here in this brain.

We will figure shit the fuck out.

Ambition & Determination

I don't want to take over the world, or anything. Ambition seems to always be "I want to own my own company someday!" or "I want to be President!".

That's all fine and dandy, you do you. Shoot for the stars, go big or go home, go get that thing you want.

For me, ambition is simply having a goal, and the determination to see it through. Last year, I decided I wanted to learn how to bake my own bread. Just because.

So there's a goal: Learn to bake your own bread.

I have baked bread at least ten times in the last year, and I do it well.

Again with the practical knowledge, my ability to bake bread, which started as purely a recreational skill because I like cooking, has saved my ass over these last few months. Money's been tight, I'm trying to conserve my resources, and I'm trying to avoid going to the store. As long as I have peanut butter, and jelly/jam/butter/cheese in my fridge, I have the means to make sandwiches.

Before baking bread, there was buying myself a Keurig. Which I did.

Keurigs are not cheap (mine was almost 200 dollars), but when you live by yourself like I do, drinking a 12-cup carafe of coffee is not practical or how I want to spend my day.

It's just not cost-effective to brew 12 cups of coffee at once, especially when the rest of it can easily go stale. I don't drink stale coffee, that is gross.

I worked very hard to purchase my Keurig, and now I save a ton of money on coffee because I do not have to waste. I have reusable K-cup filters that I can wash out and use over and over. I can use my own coffee grounds without having to buy the pre-packaged K-cups.

I almost failed out of algebra twice when I was in high school. When I decided to try and go back to college in 2015, I had to take remedial classes to get myself up to where I needed to be. I came out of those classes with nearly perfect grades because I worked my ass off to get better at it. Not only because I had to if I wanted to see the next semester, but because I wanted to. It was a challenge, and I wanted to come out on top and prove to myself that I could do it. It was incredibly important to me.

I work hardest for things I'm interested in, or where I actually get to see the product of my work and hold it in my hands, otherwise hard work is just not enjoyable. I like helping other people to an extent, but honestly, I prefer to help people I actually like.

That being said, I've been known to bake cakes or make things for people that have helped me in the past.

Right now, I feel like my biggest ambition is getting my ass back to work and paying off my debts, then buying myself a new MacBook to replace the one I have.

Cunning & Cleverness

This kind of ties into resourcefulness, but I like having fun and unorthodox ways of solving problems. One might say these "unorthodox" ways are cunning.

I've always been witty, and a bit shrewd or sharp.

I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor, but I'm a sucker for a good pun. Sometimes I'm a little more successful when it comes to being "deadpan", but my American sense of humor has given me very little room for "pokerface". As soon as the punchline comes, I cannot help but laugh. I'm 100% the person that will laugh at my own jokes.

Now, time for me to admit some flaws because we're all human and we have them.

I know, for a fact, that I can be very manipulative.

I try not to, but I do bottle up my emotions sometimes. Sometimes I don't immediately talk about issues, because I'm trying to gauge whether it's really that big of a deal and if I should just let it go and get over it.

I don't generally like venting my shit out to strangers. Or people I just don't know very well, or like, even. Or sometimes I just don't want to be a bother. You don't ever truly know someone.

I'm at a constant battle with myself on whether I want to blend in or stand out. Half of me likes attention, provided I did something to deserve it, the other half of me would really rather just keep to myself and stay on the sidelines. I like the recognition for a job well done.

I am generally a forgiving kind of person, depending on the situation, but I never forget the ways a person has wronged me. If you've wronged me or fucked me over, there is a huge chance I do not like or trust you, will probably never completely trust you, and will always be watching my own ass around you.

On the flip side, I don't like passive-aggression. And I hate it when people try to guilt-trip. I can be a bit blunt, honestly.

If you got a problem with me, come and say it to me.

Call me cold but I have no problem dropping people that insist on making vague-posts because they're too much of a coward to come and face their problems head-on. I don't like confrontation but that doesn't mean I avoid it, entirely.

Though in the past I've had issues recognizing this, I know now, most of the time, when someone isn't being straightforward or honest with me. Or if they're being abusive in some way. I have no problem standing up for myself and being assertive.

Slytherins are typically the kind to be like "you're either on my side, by my side, or in my way. Choose wisely". If you're only in my life to hurt or hinder me, then I'm not interested in having anything to do with you, and I have no problem cutting people like that out of my life.

At my work, my old boss (who left in September last year) would always bad-mouth the OG owners of the establishment (a nice Indian couple from Canada). The OG owners, when I've worked with them, have always been so nice to me, so I believe old boss was just shit-talking. He had a bit of a volatile temper.

There were a couple days working with him where I was tempted to say 'fuck it' and just go home, but I had to keep my cool because I didn't want to lose my job. Plus I knew they'd be totally fucked if I went home, and that would just make things worse than they already were.

Hence, the bottling of emotions. Swallow your pride - not because you've given up on the fight, but because karma is a bitch. Sometimes the best revenge is the kind you didn't lift a finger to get, yourself. It's like somebody tripping you, only for you to watch as they get smacked in the face by a door because they were too busy laughing.

Self-Preservation

I don't have much for this section, other than I don't like being in bad situations. Nobody does. I just do what I can to avoid being put in a bad situation. I like to live a quiet, peaceful life, and I pretty much keep to myself because I'm actually a lot more introverted than y'all think I am.

Online, I'm quite extraverted and friendly. Offline, I barely know two of my neighbors, one of which I've only really seen in person twice but we've never actually talked to each other in a full-blown conversation. To most of the other residents up here, I'm just "that girl down the hallway".

Sometimes you can't help it, but when and if I can, I like being able to find a way out. I will do anything I possibly can to get myself out of a shitty situation. A shit-uation. Hahahaha.

Fraternity & Leadership

Slytherins are all about fraternity and loyalty. To my friends that I've known a while, I'm very loyal and protective of them. They can trust me with their secrets. They know they can vent to me and I won't say a peep to somewone else.

If my friends have a dream they want to chase, I will absolutely say "go for it". If it's something I know I can help them with, I am more than likely to offer my advice and take them under my wing, if they're willing. I'm very much the type of person who's like "teamwork makes the dream work". You help me, I help you.