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Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in Shine's InsaneJournal:

    Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013
    7:59 pm
    Angel Starr
    She’ll be lost until you find her
    Just FYI
    Original name: Angela Stanoicovich later changed to Angel Starr
    Tribal name: Shine
    Tribe:Oma
    Job: Teacher
    Age/DOB: 25 25/08/1990
    Sexuality: Straight
    Relationship status: Single but grieving, it’s so incredibly complicated
    Family: Brothers Greg, Alex, Nick and Luc (oldest twins- 27, youngest 26. whereabouts unknown), Sisters in- Law Anna and Eve (whereabouts unknown) Nieces Sally, Mina, Lily and Rosie (whereabouts unknown) Nephew, James (whereabouts unknown) Parents, Alice and Pitor (Deceased)
    Physical description: 5'4”, curvaceous and blonde, pretty, but would refuse to believe anyone who says it. Her brown eyes seem old and wise, and there is a celtic tattoo around her left wrist
    Distinguishing marks: Her back is covered with scars, her arms and wrists are badly scarred
    The Player
    NAME: Loz
    AGE: 27
    AIM: onehundredvoices
    CONTACT: onehundredvoicess@gmail.com
    TIME ZONE: GMT
    PERSONALITY
    Personality: Angel is mostly strong, unless confronted by her mother. She has been fighting to fulfil a dream which isn’t her own for far too long, but always manages to remain upbeat and can only be crushed by one thing, her mother. Seems outgoing and gregarious, but underneath it all she is quite shy and has some esteem issues having never heard the words 'I love you'. Angel is quite flighty when it comes to attachments, in particular to men, as no one can measure up to her brothers, as they have grown from the boys who used to tease but also look after her, into lovely grown ups with solid jobs and with two of the four, in solid marriages with children. Also she simply doesn’t attract the type of man she’d like to stay with. Angel would like to change, stop giving off the outward appearance of being an airhead and actually embrace the things that her brother taught her, but is afraid of being laughed at as she has spent so long pretending she doesn’t know how to be anything else. The only people she feels she can really be herself around are her nephews and nieces, and with kids she’ll happily play, get made up, dance or roll around in the dirt. At home, when no one can see her, Angel tends to be reading, hair tied back, with no make up on, but will panic if someone drops by unexpectedly to see her like that.
    Likes: Kids, music, books, laughing, her brothers
    Dislikes: Bossy people, her mom, bitches, cameras
    Skills and Training: Very little training, dropped out of education after high school. She can sing dance and cook. Loves kids, and while not officially trained, between her family and the kids of people who she works with she has plenty of experience.
    Strengths and weaknesses: Strengths: Loyal, dogged and determined, with a great singing voice and a kind heart Weaknesses:Depression, clings to the past. self esteem issues, and a tendency to doubt other peoples opinions of her.
    Items carried: A small paper bluebell
    HISTORY
    Angel Starr was born Angela Stanoicovich in Cascade Locks. She had a pushy mother and a weak father. Her mother always dreamed of being a star, but those dreams were undone by the births of four boisterous boys, who were born as two sets of twins, less than a year apart, with Angela born a year a later. The Stanocavich house was always loud and basically masculine, so from as soon as she was able Angela’s mother was entering her into beauty pageants, dance, acting and singing lessons. Angel was indoctrinated into the joys of fame, popularity and beauty, and never encouraged academically and would have failed completely but for the attentions of her eldest brother, Greg. He became her math tutor and inducted her into classic literature. She grew to love reading and developed a keen mind for mathematics, that she kept hidden for fear of parental and peer criticism, a habit which is now ingrained and makes her seem like far more of an airhead than she actually is. At 18 she moved away from her family to California, intent on fulfilling her mother's dream to become a model or actress. Having found out she couldn't really perform in front of a camera, and not being tall enough to be a model, she found herself trying the theatre. There she found a love from plays and the performing arts, but as always it was not good enough for her mother. As she was not brave enough to really boom out her lines, she lost lead roles in large plays. It didn't bother Angel that she wasn't a lead and if she was it was on a small stage, nor did it bother her than she was only earning what she needed. It certainly did bother her mother though, who took every opportunity to remind Angel of how much of a failure she was. Eventually, battered down by this loudly voiced criticism, Angel was bullied out of the job she loved and returned to unsuccessfully pounding the circuit. In time, tired and completely jaded, she ended up as one of the receptionists at the new LA radio station Lime FM, face painted up, grinning inanely, and surreptitiously reading a novel under the desk, to prove to herself she wasn't the airhead people thought she was. While working there she met a young widower, producer Daniel Carlisle and his daughter Jessie. Daniel and Angel crept into love, friends for nearly six months, even though an obvious attraction bounced between them. Helping him with his grief and taking care of Jessie, they became the first people to ever make her feel valued and loved, which threw her, they were just getting in deep, around another three months into their relationship when the Pulse hit. When people started falling dead like flies around her in Los Angeles, she ran home to Cascade Locks fearing for her brother and their families. She tried to find them, but failed miserably. Her family had always lived close together, all on the street their parents lived, a fact that always hurt Angel as she always felt like she was the one who was pushed away, for reasons she could never understand. She arrived back in Cascade Locks , in a car lent to her by Daniel. Shine found all of the houses ransacked and empty, with no evidence of any of her family or of any attempt to leave her any messages. Her initial intention was to return to LA to find the Carlisles, but the world was such a mess, she was sure she would have died before she got even halfway back. After three years she assumes her brothers and the Carlisles are dead, as they never came looking for her. It is a pain she has to live with, though she has never quite given up hope. Her decision to at least try to settle in Cascade Locks was fairly easy. It was her childhood home, and whatever life she had there, she's now clinging to it as a raft of familiarity. In spite of everything she's still orientated by other people, as being around people helps her to stabilise.
    WRITING SAMPLE
    Shine had really tried to give up on them. It had been three years and she had heard neither hide nor hair of either her family or of Daniel Carlisle and his daughter Jessie. Everyone she had known before the Pulse was gone, her whole Pre Pulse life was gone. However, Shine knew she was lucky. The Oma didn’t have to take her in, they had saved her from herself, when her darkness had threatened to take her life, they had taken care of her and given her a reason to continue living, and she was glad of that.
    Character Journal: [info]shine_
    Play by: Billie Piper
    Thursday, May 20th, 2010
    12:09 am
    i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
    my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
    i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
    by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                      i fear
    no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
    no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
    and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
    and whatever a sun will always sing is you

    here is the deepest secret nobody knows
    (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
    and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
    higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
    and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

    i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

    I Carry Your Heart- ee cummings
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