June 2019

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Jun. 5th, 2019

It's time I started writing down my thoughts again. It helps ground me. Ravenscar taught me that much at least...

I've heard it... In the darkness, in the light of day. I've heard those whispers in the front of my mind, clawing at my consciousness, pushing back all reasonable thought.

"I promise that you are worthless. I promise that you are nothing. Become nothing".

The void calls. The void has many faces, many voices. The cruel honest trickster, the cold, dark Mother who wishes to be reunited with her children, the Father's lesson in unmerciful torrents of abuse. Past friends who lost their lives in my calculated wake. A quagmire of black tar and sickly emptiness. She sings to me in my sleep. He calls for my head, and their laughter will not give me rest.

"We promise you eternally, a peace as deep as Agartha"

The void is real. And their promises, unsurprisingly, false. That empty place that calls and whispers with tendrils, fine and razor sharp. The seductive pull, the sedative disguised as harsh truth. Comfort in a numb sense of self loathing and despair. And beyond that void, waiting for me lies Hell itself.

I am as damned as any man can be. But I didn't get into this game just to let the other side win. I'll fill the void with all sorts of life, sew my seed in her empty womb. Kick those demons right in the bollocks when they're down, and when all is said and done? Hell will have to find another poor sod less capable than me to muck about with.

Fuck, I'm a miserable old sod...

Jun. 1st, 2019

This drink's for heaven
And this drink's for hell
This one's for sorrow,
And this one's as well,

Drink for the fallen,
And drink for the dead,
Remember your friendships,
And those you mislead,

Drink for your Demons,
Inside of your head,
A drink for your sins,
until all guilt is dead.

Drink for the good times,
And more when they're gone,
There's more crap in store,
For poor old John

May. 8th, 2019

My name is John Constantine. I'm the one who steps from the shadows all trench coat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bollocks and spit on them when the're down. Leaving only a nod and a wink and a wise crack. I walk my path alone, because let's be honest... who'd be crazy enough to walk it with me. )