30 March 2008 @ 12:28 pm
111 Gapfiller.  
[info]xie_xie_xie hosted an impromptu dirty!feet!Justin!challenge for meta and fic, and donated $150 to the Pittsburgh AIDS Taskforce in the process.

This is my contribution. No need to comment if you already did so. I just wanted it posted here as well.

Originally posted here. Unchanged, but for a couple extra words. Thank you Xie!


After Deb and Vic and the others left the party, Brian started drinking. A lot.

I tried to talk to him but he blew me off. Soon after, he cut the music, declared the party over and told everyone to fuck off.

As the last of the stragglers filed out he glared at me. “You going too?” he asked me again.

“I'm not going anywhere.”

I walked up and kissed him.

He was stiff at first. But then he opened his mouth and let my tongue inside. I ran my hands up his back, under his jacket and pulled it off. I could feel the tension practically vibrating through his body. I unbuttoned his shirt and let it slip to the floor.

His tongue was probing my mouth now, his hands clutching at my face and hair. He was kissing me hard, so hard I almost choked. I wrenched my mouth from his with a gasp.

He stared at me a moment, then brushed my bruised lips with his thumb and sighed. “Go to bed, Justin.”

“Are you coming with me?”

He smiled a sad smile and shook his head.


“Just go,” he said and gave me a little shove.

I went up the steps to the bedroom and toed off my shoes, throwing myself down on the bed. He'd come around eventually.


When I woke up a while later the loft was darker but I was still alone in bed.

I walked down the steps. “Brian?” I couldn't see him anywhere.

“Brian?” I called out a little louder. Shit, He'd gone out.

Then I noticed the door was ajar. I stuck my head out and saw light coming from the storage room at the end of the hallway.

Brian was sitting on the floor next to an open cardboard box labeled “school shit”.

“Brian?” I called softly. He turned around, frowned. “What are you doing up?”

I shrugged. “Looking for you.”

“Go back to bed.” I ignored him and sat down next to him on the dusty floor. He had what looked like a high school yearbook in his lap, with some photos of himself and Michael stuck between the pages.

I recognized one of the shots, it was the same one tacked up in my bedroom. Brian wearing a gray T-shirt with his arm around Michael. And there were a few others; Michael with a tragic haircut holding up some comic book, Brian and Michael sitting at Deb's kitchen table with a birthday cake in front of Brian, Brian in an awful flowered shirt and leather jacket, Brian looking happy and handsome in a graduation robe, a beaming Michael by his side.

“You really love him huh?”

He didn't say anything.

“Why'd you do it?.”

“He left with the Doc, right?” I nod.

“Well that was the plan.” He held up an almost empty bottle of Beam and toasted himself. “Three cheers to me.” He took a swig.

I put a hand on his bare arm.

“Come to bed,” I said, rubbing his chilled flesh. “It's cold in here.”

“You go,” he said. “I'll be there in a bit.” He turned back to the book in his lap and I knew I'd been dismissed.

I kissed his temple and then went back to bed, hoping he'd join me soon but not really expecting it.