InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Wind friction."

Rabastan Lestrange (_alwaid) wrote,
@ 2014-04-23 13:33:00

I've just heard the most incredible joke! Seriously, I laughed for at least five minutes. Ready?

A man walked into the Three Broomsticks and takes a seat at the bar. Before he can order a drink the Bowl of pretzels in front of him says "oi, aren't you a handsome bloke!" the man tries to ignore the Bowl of pretzels and orders a fire whiskey. The bowl of pretzels then says, "fire whiskey? Good on ya, you're dead smart!" The man begins to get very upset and says the the bartender, "why does this bowl of pretzels keep saying nice things to me?" The bartender replies, "don't worry, the pretzels are complementary!"

Isn't that the greatest? I don't know what's better, that the bartender charmed his pretzels to talk, or that he charmed them to be such a chav! I must tell this joke to the world.

(Post a new comment)

	dame_du_lac 2014-04-23 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	And now I feel that we must do this at a meal. Shock the firsties and make everyone all confused? I'm in if you are... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alwaid 2014-04-23 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	Yes! Absolutely! Good thing the little firsties never read these, huh? I love the idea of a prank that involves complimenting everyone. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	slythbastard 2014-04-23 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	Now you have told the world and can make the world happy by being silent and not subjecting us to more banality. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alwaid 2014-04-23 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	Did you nt like my joke? Maybe this one will be more up your alley. A pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel attached to the front of his pants. The bartender says, doesn't that hurt? The pirae says, "ay, it's drivin me nuts!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	slythbastard 2014-04-24 12:22 am UTC (link)
	Your humor is pedantic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_alwaid 2014-04-24 10:41 pm UTC (link)
	Pedantic? Sure, I know a lot of foot jokes! How about this one? Did you hear about the Australian podiatrist and the English chiropodist? They were arch rivals. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bentandbroken 2014-04-24 12:32 am UTC (link)
	It's a pretty good play on words. I'm still not sure I'd like my food to talk to me, complimentary or not. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alwaid 2014-04-24 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	It would be a bit of a shock. But think of all the brilliant things your salad could tell you, if it only had the words. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bentandbroken 2014-04-24 10:58 pm UTC (link)
	I wouldn't want to eat it if it spoke. What if it kept talking once I ate it? I might starve to death. That wouldn't be pleasant. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_alwaid 2014-04-24 11:02 pm UTC (link)
	Hm, I hadn't thought of that. That would pose a problem. I guess the joys of taking food will never be ours. Unless we can somehow get the Swedish Chef over here, which would be brilliant! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bentandbroken 2014-04-24 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know what that means, but it sound interesting? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_alwaid 2014-04-24 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	The Swedish Chef is from this brilliant muggle show that started up last year. They're these puppets, but they're dead funny, and the Swedish Chef is always trying to cook these veggies that sing and things. You'll have to come visit this summer, so I can show you! (Reply to this) (Parent)