Gahhhhh!!! I don't know why, but I'm in such a fit of rage today. Last night I was cranky and now I'm downright... well, infected with rage. Like in "28 Days Later". Did anyone see any crazy monkeys around here?!

I'm really hoping that it's a sign that my period is about to come back. I do NOT want to get those hormonal tests, because that means more doctor visits and doctor bills on no insurance. Bah. Fuck that.

Today at work was Just Reduced day. Every Monday we have to scan aaaaaallllll the merchandise on the floor to see if the price went down. For each piece, it goes down a month. But for some reason every FUCKING tag from July 9th WOULD NOT FUCKING SCAN!!! I was getting so mad. I very nearly threw the stupid snic on the ground and was gonna pretend it was an accident. Everytime you CAN'T scan the shit, you have to manually put in the division number, the model number, and the four-digit number that distinguishes tags from each other. OMG I was so pissed. I remember thinking about how some people can see auras, and if anyone walked in the same room as me, they'd probably go running for cover. Yeah. I was THAT pissed.

I still am, but at least now I'm not at a boring as fuck job where the time is dragging on and on and on and fucking on.... Here at least I can have my music, my movies, my books, my Internet. All that stuff is gooooooood. Oooo I could even take a nap! Mmmm...nap.

This is my third day reading Twilight, and it feels weird because the last few books I read I finished in 2 days, or 3. If I don't finish it tonight I'll get super-impatient and want to hurry through it. Maybe I'll read some and then get reeeeeally tired and then fall asleep and stuff....idk lol.

But gahhhh I don't know about this. Vampire love stories can never end well lol. Unless the vampire becomes human, but...I only liked that the one time in Angel. It made me cry :( Maybe in LJ Smith's books the vampire-human thing worked out...I can't remember though it's been YEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRSSS since I read those. And OMG I saw "The Vampire Diaries" at B&N and omg omg. IT HAD A NEW COVER!!!!!

Okay you're probably thinking I'm a spaz, but I thought all of LJ Smith's books were going out of print, and now..... there's A NEW COVER!!! I like it better lol.... but how sensible is it to re-buy the thing just cuz it's prettier?? Probably not very, but I so would...

Ahhhh I just got an email from my aunt. Here, you can read it :)

Hi Jackie,
The keychain you sent Ann (she received it today) is wonderful. I would like to hire you for a project. I need about 67 placemats with a family tree on it and fall colored leaves. It's for our Thanksgiving table at (hopefully) the Marriott in Livonia on Nov. 27th. I would like the placemats laminated. Is this something you would be interested in doing? I think I would, also, like a keychain for everyone but need to think that through a little more.
LAP

I'm gonna be hired again! Woot! At this rate I'm gonna have material for a whole new portfolio before I even get the first one printed!!

This news has made me happier. I'm gonna go before that changes, cuz I can still feel the fire inside....

Man, am I ever addicted to Word Twist on facebook! It's sooo much fun. I'm currently tied with another friend for 127 points. I'm determined to beat that, buuuut it's not as easy as it would seem.

So I gave Scott's sister, Emma, a graduation card, and his family gave one to me. I miss them so much. I wish someone would give him a lobotomy so that he would become the perfect guy and then I could go back with him lol. I know it's bad wanting to date a guy for his family, buuuut... they're so great. Ooo maybe we don't know this but he has a twin brother.... a GOOD twin, and they were separated at birth! Guh... one can dream, no? Anywho, in Emma's thank you card she mentioned that maybe I'll design a book cover for her one day...which would rock. She wants to write a book, and maybe edit them too? I can't remember if that's what she said, but either way, that's the field she wants to go into. On that note, miss Candy, if you get to choose who designs your covers, give me a call :D

I really need to get this portfolio done to prove my damn therapist wrong. By the time I go back I want to be able to say not only is it done and printed, but it's submitted to publishing houses in Michigan and Texas. My friends are so great, they made me feel a lot better about the situation, and reading Molly and Emma's messages made me happy as well. All of it gives me hope that I can, in fact, be normal. And not just normal, be totally awesome. I want to be awesome!! And I want to know it, but not be a bitch about it.

I also want to write more. I have an idea for a book but it'd be horror/suspense and I dunno if I'm any good at that. I suppose I can try though, and Laura would totally be able to help me out. And Katherine. They loooooooove the scary movies so it'd be a good choice (and yes Candypants, you would get to read as well...obviously :)

I just wish I could get the strength, courage, and determination to do it. But I really don't think that will happen until I'm out of this house.

Ugh. I'm just a mess of complicated.