Diane is back at work!! Yaaaay! She wears a glove now on the hand that she lost her finger on. Which I think is pretty smart. I'm so excited that she's back. It's too bad that I'm so desperate to leave. She's one of the few people I would want to stay for.

Yesterday we got lost driving home from the hospital. (My mom's doctor's found a lump in her breast, and we had to drop off X-Rays. I'm not worried about it yet though, especially since my sister doesn't have a bad feeling and she was right with Lori and Mary...). We got lost in this city called Milford and omg. It was so cute. I loved it, I'm definitely adding it to my job search city list.

My aunt is also helping me out. She sent me a ton of links to magazines in Texas for me to check out. She also said there were 4,000 ad agencies in Georgetown alone. I find that hard to believe. Not that she's a liar, but WHA? That's a lot!! Maybe the internet is wrong :P

I watched "Smart People" today. Not sure what I want to rate it on the ol' Flixster site just yet. It wasn't bad. I'd probably like it more the second time, and pick up on things I missed.

OH OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!! Kristen Bell and Rob Thomas are talking about doing a VERONICA MARS movie!!! FOR REAL!!!! I want to cry, seriously. I'm sooooooo excited, this NEEDS to happen!!!!

Today was yet another day where I spent time looking for jobs. I got such a headache doing it, too. Half the places I'm interested in don't post about entry level stuff, some don't have career listings at all, and gahhhh!!! I wanted to stay here or go to Fort Worth, but I might end up trying to go to Chicago. There would be a Publishing house I could work at there, right? :P Even the crappy ass employment sites don't have anything. One only showed positions in the Navy! Screw that!!!

I texted Annie and she is going to try to look into places in downtown Fort Worth for me. I tried looking it up myself but it gave me an even bigger headache. MEH.

I also looked into classes at Schoolcraft, a local community college. I could continue studying art. I'd like to re-learn web design since I haven't done that since Senior year at LHS. I could also learn how to use flash and other animation stuffs. BUT in addition to that, I would also learn some other crap, like technical writing. Then I could get a job not in my field, but it'd still be a decent job. And NOT at Sears. Ugh.

I redid my myspace...it looks pretty good. I even made new boxes for "Who I Want to Meet". It's pretty snazzy. I have to make one for Hailey, too, but I have to wait until she gets online and lets me know who she wants. You should go look and tell me how awesome I am :)

Jackie's snazzy space.


I need a cuddly baby critter to love :(

Is Jackie the only chick who would walk to her sister's house at night, after watching a documentary about a couple that raped and killed girls? Cuz I did. It's okay though, when I walked home I carried my keys so I could stab someone in the eye, if need be :P

Renee lives in the same subdivision, so it's all good in the hood.

Earlier I was looking for jobs, and OMG how frustrating! I don't think I know what I'm doing. I've never hunted for a career, just stupid little jobs. I was getting so angry. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'll probably write Robin and ask her if we can meet when classes are back in session so she can help me figure this crap out.

I have to do it quick, too. I just got my bill for student loans. I'm lucky, it could have been sooooo much higher, but a debt is a debt. And I hate them. They make me have panic attacks. So in October, I have to start paying $63 a month. Ughhhh. I need to find SOMETHING. I don't know what to do :(

This is effing LAME.

Today was such a waste. Well not completely I guess because I finished one book and started another. I also worked more on Cassie's wedding invites. I really should have cleaned and done some portfolio work.

But really... I got to the point where I wanted to do something, but do nothing. I was bored almost to tears, but that same force kept me incapable of doing anything about it. Lame lame LAME. Boy I use that word a lot lately.

*Sigh* I'm thinking more and more about this portfolio crap. I don't want to do it. I just don't. I know that's just cuz I'm freaking out about moving on. Among other things. But... meh.

Michigan is a shithole right now. As much as I like it here, the economy is a waste. There's no jobs, people are rapidly losing money, companies are closing, gas prices are rising (everywhere I know, but still)... it's scary. I really should leave... but I have family and friends here. I don't want to go.

But in Fort Worth, I have my cousin. I really miss her and we connect so deeply... I really believe I'm a better person around her. So that's a plus. Also, it'd be a whole new start for me. I just don't know.... it's Texas. It's so far, and it has tornadoes way more often than we do :X That scares the bejeesus out of me. Oh and they have a lot more scary spiders lol

Ugh I'm sitting here feeling so stuck and bored, that I'm actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow. How sick is that??!

So I don't think I realized how truly and deeply unhappy I was here until I went on vacation. Which was amazing, btw. We took a road trip down to South Carolina with stops in West Virginia, South Carolina (before reaching Hilton Head Island), and then went to North Carolina and Ohio on the way back.

The island was AMAZING. I got to spend time with family who I haven't seen in a long time, and my cousin Ann and I got to re-connect. We used to be best friends when we were little. Over the weekend, we got to discover how much we truly had in common.

We did a lot of fun stuff, the most memorable probably being the parasailing, and the lil dolphin cruise. We saw baby dolphins, awwww!!

I discovered that when I'm not at home, when I'm actually out, ESPECIALLY with Annie, I'm a whole new person. Well, more like a polished up, way way waaaaaaaaaaaayyyy happier version of myself. The fears I had diminished, my depression went away (or was tucked away for the time being, until I got back home lol).

Because of that, I'm getting the show on the road. I plan on working on my portfolio today, and I'll search for jobs in Michigan and Fort Worth, Texas. I honestly thinking moving to Texas would be the smartest and most healthy thing I could do for myself, but idk. I really don't want to leave my family. However, I do want to get out of here and be around my cousin. I guess I'll just apply to places and wherever I get in is where I'll go!