I'm so tired. I have to work tomorrow but I don't want to sleep. I want to read, and I want to watch my new favorite station, "Investigation Discovery". It is soooo good. All about FBI cases, and investigations, andddd crazy psycho killers and stuff. Although, watching this station a lot, and reading Stephen King is fucking with my head. I've been having weird dreams. Well... I always have weird dreams, but these are weird in a creepy sense.

You know the girl in "The Ring"? I can't remember her name... Samara or whatever. I had a dream that I woke up and she was in my room. But... not like, crawling out of the tv. She was standing facing the corner of my room, back to my bed, and she was in that white nightgown and her hair was all down and in her face. Then I ran out of my room to my nephew's room and slept in there with him, haha. There was more to the dream than that, but I can't remember it clearly enough :/

I'm reading "It". That book is over 1000 pages long!! Holy shit! I'm like... 200 pages in I think. Probably a little bit more. The last part I read scared the shit out of me and I had to sleep with the tv on, haha. I was hoping to be done with this book before we went camping, but thaaaaat's not gonna happen. Oh well. I'll just scare the shit out of myself while sleeping out doors. No bid deal, right? Haaaaa. At least I didn't choose to read "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" while camping. Then I'd be fucked. :)

Oh shit son, so today.... I printed my portfolio. It scares the crap out of me, because it means now it's time to start the job hunt. I mean, I want out of Sears, no doubt. I hate it there now. The only thing I like about it is a handful of people that I work with. But I'm soooo scared to start applying places. I'm looking into publishing houses mostly. I really want to make book covers. I've made 6 for assignments, so.... yay! I love it. I want to do it. I'm looking in Michigan and in Texas. I'm scared scared scared scared. I really think I'm gonna end up in Texas. But I don't want to stay long. Too far away from family. Ugh.

My sister had her check-up today! Cancer-free!! Yayyyy!! We were all so happy. Her next check-up is in October. Hopefully it'll all still be good. It was funny, she came out and was laughing because the doctor looked in her no-no area, and was like "It looks beautiful!" He meant of course, that she was clean and good, nothing there. But she kept walking around saying "I have a pretty pussy!" Hahahahha it was funny. I love my family.

This is effing LAME.

Today was such a waste. Well not completely I guess because I finished one book and started another. I also worked more on Cassie's wedding invites. I really should have cleaned and done some portfolio work.

But really... I got to the point where I wanted to do something, but do nothing. I was bored almost to tears, but that same force kept me incapable of doing anything about it. Lame lame LAME. Boy I use that word a lot lately.

*Sigh* I'm thinking more and more about this portfolio crap. I don't want to do it. I just don't. I know that's just cuz I'm freaking out about moving on. Among other things. But... meh.

Michigan is a shithole right now. As much as I like it here, the economy is a waste. There's no jobs, people are rapidly losing money, companies are closing, gas prices are rising (everywhere I know, but still)... it's scary. I really should leave... but I have family and friends here. I don't want to go.

But in Fort Worth, I have my cousin. I really miss her and we connect so deeply... I really believe I'm a better person around her. So that's a plus. Also, it'd be a whole new start for me. I just don't know.... it's Texas. It's so far, and it has tornadoes way more often than we do :X That scares the bejeesus out of me. Oh and they have a lot more scary spiders lol

Ugh I'm sitting here feeling so stuck and bored, that I'm actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow. How sick is that??!