b.d.p. (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _deni) wrote, |
i miss you. i miss me. i miss that happy feeling i had that morning.
i miss feeling like, for once in my life, things were okay.
i miss feeling like i was a normal girl, like i could have what everyone else gets to have.
i miss waking up sick in the morning. i miss those little butterfly feelings i was starting to get in my stomach.
i hate that this happened. i hate that what we thought was going to be the hard part .. wasn't the hard part.
i hate this. i hate feeling like this. i hate remembering that day.
i hate how it felt to be lying on that gurney with no pants on because i'd bled through them, and you were trying to make it easier on me.
i love you for that. i love you for trying.
but it's not easy. this isn't easy and i just .. it hurts and i'm uncomfortable.
and i don't know if i can do this again, but i know that i love you. please don't forget that i love you.