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i'm tired of trying. i'm tired of getting the test results back and being all alone when i do. i can't .. you're too busy for this and i just can't anymore. so no .. i don't want to make monday our last ditch effort. i just want to be done. there won't be any little blythe. i acknowledged that a long, long time ago. and i was stupid to ever think otherwise. i think .. i just need a day. i'll be home tomorrow. i'm sorry.