King only.
I went to shopping with Kayla today. Just the two of us. I love shopping, I'm a fashion freak. Everybody knows this. I bought Kay these cute little outfits and a pair of mary janes. As we were walking through the store, I had ahold of her little hand and some woman stopped us to admire how adorable Kayla was. She ranted and raved, oo'd and aw'd. Then went on to ask if I was the nanny. I told her no, I'm her mother. And she automatically said "oh, is she adopted?" Seriously, who asks someone that?! Yes, she's adopted but.. ugh! Thank you for pointing out that my daughter looks absolutely nothing like me. Thank you. You're awesome.

It's frustrating. I know she doesn't look like me. I understand that. She's not biologically mine. But that doesn't hinder my connection to her, that doesn't make me feel any less like her Mom. She's mine. She's been mine since she was ten months old, even before King and I were really together. She's a part of me, I'm a part of her. But .. at the same time, we're not. She's not, I'm not.

I want that connection. I want people to walk up to me and my child and say 'you look so much alike, how sweet!' I want that. I want to know what that's like, what it's all like.

I'm ready to try again. And no, not just because of that woman. I've been ready .. I just, I'm enjoying the 'us' time because I know it'll be shelved again the minute we go back to the doctor. But I want you to know that I'm ready. I want this. Whenever you do, whenever you're ready. I want to try again.