InsaneJournal

b.d.p. (_deni) wrote, @ 2008-10-28 22:28:00

PRIVATE ; JENI ONLY
He kissed me. I was mad at him for wanting to use me as his babysitter while he went out with other women, so I blew him off for the baby shopping. He came over all angry with me and apologizing for stuff he didn't know he did. And he kissed me.

I should have stopped him. I should have slapped him. Something. But I didn't. I kissed him back. I sat there, put my hands on his cheeks .. and kissed him back.

Then I asked him to leave.

Yesterday, I went over to his house to talk to him about it after avoiding him for two days and .. I just avoided him the whole time I was there. Walking around the couch whenever he came close, sitting on the other side of the table. I did everything I could to put things between us. I even told him I didn't like kissing him and threatened to slap him if he tried it again. Then he asked me to leave and called me a liar!

I don't know what I'm doing. I mean, the guy is definitely attractive and he's really been nothing but nice to me since day one. But his reputation scares me. I don't want to be another number. At least with some people, you know what to expect because they don't treat you any differently than they do the other members of our gender. This guy is like a huge contradiction. He's all nice and chatty with me even though he's told me from the beginning that he's a womanizing asshole. He doesn't act that way with me.

Ugh, I just don't know! I liked the kiss. I admit it. I'd thought about what it would be like for awhile but never expected it to happen. I can't even say that I really wanted it to happen. I like having him to talk to. I don't want our friendship to change. But, I also don't want to see him with other people.

And, OMG, I sound like such a whiny girl! I'm in dire need of a distraction. Any sort of distraction, at this point.
END PRIVATE

Jason, 2:30ish has come and gone. What happened to the coffee? You're terrible at this whole planning thing!!