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Syd(ney) Barrett ([info]_donttouch) wrote,
@ 2017-04-06 19:48:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
[log 2] Syd/David

The days went by fast, too fast. But there were tactics to discuss and work to put in, all things that took up time. Sydney had put her two cents in, brash as it might have been in comparison to everyone else's thoughtful plans, and then took off. Now it was time for personal work of her own.

She had been thinking about it since their conversation, contemplating the logistics and possible horrible effects of what might happen were she wrong about this idea. It might even be worse than the first time she and David switched bodies; he was so much more powerful now. And while he knew it, was aware of it, she still didn't think that she herself was strong enough to keep everything in check if they did switch. And she didn't think her conscience could take another murder -- no matter how accidental it was. Especially not of these people. They had already seen enough loss. She had seen enough loss.

She often wondered whether David would have been able to suss out the Shadow King earlier, had she not accidentally killed Lenny and leave her to be a hallucination in his mind. Or would it have simply taken another form, another person to confuse him?

Enough of those thoughts, Sydney, she mentally chastised herself. If they could hold on to scarves together, then they could do this. Resolve found, she wound her way toward David's dorm before she lost her nerve. David wasn't there, at least she was pretty sure that he wasn't; it was odd, but she swore that she could sometimes feel him around. It was easy to find him, though whether that was part of some weird connection or by merely knowing him, Syd wasn't sure. It wasn't like she had that particular link with anyone else she had switched with. Perspective and empathy, sure. But an actual possible link? Maybe it was because she entered his headspace. It was a question she would have to ask the others, whether they had the same feeling.

Entering his room, she looked around and grabbed the closest piece of clothing that she could find, a jacket. The theft was quick, partially because that was how a theft should be and partially because she wanted to find out what would happen as soon as possible. Her fingers snuck out of their protective cover of long sleeves, gingerly touching the fabric of the jacket with eyes half squinted shut. Eyes still squinted, she threw the jacket on one shoulder then the other, and then looked around wide-eyed to see what had happened.

Those wide eyes looked down first thing, seeking out -- yup. Still had boobs. Releasing a sigh of relief, Syd cozied up in the jacket, zipping it up halfway. It was bigger than her normal size, which was nice. Safe. More room between others' skin and her own. And it smelled like him! Like a little kid, Sydney wiggled around in the fabric happily and then turned around to leave and go about her day.

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[info]xgene
2017-04-06 11:49 pm UTC (link)
That first night had been rough. Considering how exhausted he'd been, not to mention having his mind to himself, he'd been hoping for a peaceful sleep. It'd been needed, desperately, to help him organize. It felt like he'd been going almost non-stop since he and Syd swapped places and now? He could afford some rest.

Unfortunately, the dreams that suffused him were alarming. Troubling. Initially they were little more than disjointed, senseless garbage. Random bits that made for a blurry haze of tossing and turning -- he knew he was dreaming. He knew his brain was processing, trying to cleanse all the internal wirings to make a clean slate. In that place between sleep and dream, he knew this, but there'd been absolutely no controlling it. That frustration eventually exhausted him into something a little deeper.

That was when things really got fucked up. And not even on a scary scale -- no, he'd experienced enough of that thanks to every manipulated memory, thanks to diving deep into places Lenny didn't want him, or anyone else, to be. No, after the first night, it was pure, raw emotion driving his nightmares.

Anger. Regret. Sadness.

The memories tended to focus heavily on family. All the times he'd let his parents down, all the ways he'd frightened his sister. God, that he knew what his sister looked like when she was terrified well before Lenny got hold of her...

Most mornings he was awake before anyone else, giving up around two in the morning most times. The days that followed he could focus, listening to plots and plans, mostly keeping to the listening side. David knew he was out of his element here. The real world and anything to do with it tended to be a stretch for him to handle -- laying out what was essentially turning out to be battle plans left him feeling even more like a fish out of water.

But every now and again he had something to offer, some vote of confidence, a note of agreement. At one point he asked flat out if anyone else knew any more telepaths they could just recruit to force Lenny and Oliver to separate in the Astral Plane: his answer had been a bunch of solemn looks. Guess not. Sole telepath in the room. Cool.

Fourth day and David had managed to go most of it without speaking at all. Everything was internalized, thoughts drawn inwards as his body and mind continued to grow more and more exhausted. Something had to give and only one idea came to mind of what could be done. It was something he didn't feel he could do alone, however.

Instinct drove him in the right direction without much thought. David felt he would always have a connection to Syd, and not just because he still found himself moving to push away long blonde hair -- they'd shared their minds, swapped bodies, and David loved her with every fiber of his being. Connection seemed like an understatement. Especially as he sought her out now, knowing she'd be able to offer perspective, as well as be the strong foundation she'd been since day one.

And, turning a corner, there she was! The pensive expression immediately melted in favor of a warm smile as soon as he saw her, all of her. Body, mind, soul. Whatever that aura was that seemed to surround everyone if he just looked with the proverbial third eye.

"Hey," he started, only to note the attire, smile turning swiftly into a smirk. "Comfy?"

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 12:16 am UTC (link)
She looked up from admiring the jacket, still sort of shifting around in order to listen to the swish-swish noise of the fabric, and smirked in return. "Did I mention that I'm a thief?" She looked happy, playfully smug, because her plan completely worked. It washed away the worries that she had, about that anyway. And it didn't itch or hurt -- no fire ants in this jacket, thanks.

But then she pursed her lips, screwing her mouth to one side. Fingers sought out the edges of the sleeves, curling inward. Since it was bigger, her hands got a little lost within the cuffs, which she actually liked. At first, she was going to check to make sure that he was okay with it, but that little fact had her much more confident. Don't know if you'll get this back. It was a shared joke, so it was a shared thought. Her mouth remained where it was, but this time eyebrows were lifted in question of just what he was going to do about it.

"What's up?"

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 12:25 am UTC (link)
David didn't mind at all that Sydney had made good on her word to swipe something. He didn't have much in this world, everything having been sold off or given away when he was checked into Clockworks, which left him essentially with just a few clothes here at Summerland. One swiped jacket wasn't the end of the world and, seeing it on her, seeing how it affected her expressions, her movements, everything about her? It was in better hands.

It suits you, was his initial answer, still smirking, but looking playfully approving about it all. It was a way to touch without touching, a means to have something physical without completely removing their bodies in the Astra Plane too. He got it. Clever thinking.

"I wanted to run something by you actually, something that's been bugging me the last couple nights," he started casually, motioning in the direction she'd been initially walking for them to follow along. "I could use a sounding board." Understatement. He could use someone to let him know if he was thinking smart -- if now was the time or place to be thinking... selfishly. Because that was his knee-jerk reaction to what he wanted to do. What he felt he needed to do.

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 01:04 am UTC (link)
"Doesn't everything?" She smirked in response to his mental reply, but was easily continuing the way she was walking, this time with him beside her. Syd wanted another cup of coffee; caffeine was good. Holy, even. And besides, hearing Oliver's voice kept her focused on the personal part of what was at stake.

But she had stopped briefly when he mentioned that something had been bugging him, looking at David in concern before slowly continuing where her focus had been mere moments ago. "Everything alright..?" Syd asked, head tilted. "You still sleep like in Clockworks." Which, was to say, hardly slept at all. It was hard to sleep there unless, of course, you had the meds that made you sleep. Syd didn't sleep much there either. Summerland was better, most likely because it wasn't a mental institute. Still, it seemed like David slept just the same in either place.

"I can do that. I've been talking plenty these past couple of days." And he hadn't been talking enough. Which was dangerous for anyone, really. Too much time in one's own head lent toward too many thoughts and not any outlets for it, which lent toward being overwhelmed. or it lent toward bottling thoughts up and rushing headlong into things. Both of which Sydney did more often than not, and neither which were particularly mentally sound. But she was happy, proud even, that David trusted her as a confidant. Boyfriends and girlfriends were supposed to be, but she had seen enough of relationships to know that wasn't always the case.

"What are you thinking?" What a loaded question for brains that thought at the speed of --- something very fast.

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 11:30 am UTC (link)
"Too true!" Syd could wear anything she liked and David knew she'd rock it. Much like many things with her, he was absolute in his beliefs -- she was amazing, she could wear anything and look good, her opinion was worth hearing.

Having at least one positive, certain thing in his life was something to be treasured. Because really, he knew he shouldn't have been surprised about the consistency in his poor sleeping. "Sleep and I have never been on good speaking terms," he offered in explanation. Even as a kid it had never come entirely easily -- part of the reason why his father didn't feel so bad 'waking him up' in the middle of the night to look at stars. Usually he was already awake in some fashion. When anti-psychotics were added into his life, sleep became even more elusive.

Lack of sleep wasn't so bad though. He'd managed all this time on the precious few he got. It was the nightmares, they were what was really bugging him, keeping him quiet and internalizing everything. Years of therapy told him that was a bad idea, David knew that, and yet without a steady psychiatrist he always fell back into the habit. And even now, even trusting Syd so deeply, he refused to burden her. It'd been the same with Amy -- that was what professionals were for. Psychiatrists who often had their own therapists or psychiatrists too.

But this? This he wanted to talk about, because it was an action item. Something that could be done and achieved rather than simply talked about only to be left lingering with big questions unable to be answered.

"It's coming up to the anniversary of my father's death," he started bluntly, hands in his pockets as they walked. They were obviously aiming towards coffee -- always a good choice. "Clockworks wouldn't let me go see him when he was sick and wouldn't let me go to his funeral either." Those had been a rough few months, to put it lightly. "He and my mom have been on my mind." He hadn't visited her grave in years, not since he turned 23.

Glancing to Syd, his eyes having been glued firmly to the ground, he smiled somewhat ruefully. "Guess knowing that I'm adopted and they still put up with all my shit is starting to sink in. I keep dreaming and I... want to visit them. Their graves."

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 12:40 pm UTC (link)
Psychiatrists were generally just as – if not more than -- nuts as their patients; they just managed to seem more socially acceptable. It was probably the MD behind their names. Go to school for half your life and all of a sudden society thinks you should be given more respect than the poor Schmoe who couldn’t make it. But Sydney honestly thought everyone was crazy; either some people dealt with it better, or they hadn’t had that event horizon moment to shove them off the proverbial cliff.

She looked down at that, mouth pressing together briefly before she looked back up. “I’m sorry.” For all of it. Everything. That his parents died, that he hadn’t been allowed to attend to his father either in sickness or in death. She watched David thoughtfully, wondering just how hard that had to have been for someone who so obviously loved his family. Who was so obviously loved in return by them. “They should have let you go.” Or at least should have had a grief counselor or whatever on top of the normal counselors.

With gentle guidance, they found their way into the dining area where the steampunk-looking coffee brewer stood shiny and copper, waiting to regale the next person with a story and hot drink. Syd looked over as well, a quiet laugh escaping in shared ruefulness. “They’re still your parents. Good parents put up with their kids’ shit.” Keyword being good, which the Hallers sounded like they were. Fiddling with the knobs and buttons, she got the machine percolating for two cups, Oliver’s voice piping in and chattering away soothingly. But it was white noise, what with her attention on David.

“What are your dreams like?” Did she want to know the answer to that question? Yes and no. No and yes. But it was an idly curious question, giving way to more important things. “Where—“ She stopped, eyebrows drawing downward. It was a good idea, and might help David deal with a lot of things. Closure was supposed to be important, right? But it was a delicate subject and Syd wasn’t always good with those. So her train of thought switched tracks – smoothly, like a planned track switch rather than a runaway train. “Where are we going?” She looked down at the coffee that had finished pouring out, then back up at David with a wry smile. “And we’ll probably need travel cups for this.”

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 01:27 pm UTC (link)
David wasn't sure where he stood on everyone being some level of crazy. Being surrounded by those with deep psychological issues and mental illness, on top of having his own (or so he'd thought), his perspective was likely skewed -- what must be a 'normal' level for most seemed like basic human nature to David. Some people had a proclivity for being cruel, some people were quirky, others got depressed because of the weather. Humanity was definitely a universal condition.

But he'd dove in wholly and completely to therapy, finding good doctors that had helped him a great deal when he was on a good streak. What happened to Dr. Poole, what he did to Dr. Poole still unsettled him, seeing as how the guy was the best psychiatrist David ever had in his life. Shame there wasn't a Dr. Poole equivalent here -- someone who understood that superpowers weren't a delusion and could help him with everything else in his head before it festered into some new mental illness.

He was trying though, he was. Letting himself feel things, letting the important things out as best he could. "Yeah, they really should have," David commented idly, angrily, shaking his head. It was clear now that Clockworks was now partially owned by Division 3, that someone somewhere, combined with doctors voicing disapproval, made sure he stayed put. Seeing his father wasting away would due irreparable damage, going to a funeral would make him even more unstable, blah blah blah.

"They deserved gold medals for what they put up with," he said with a soft chuckle. He'd been tempted to say they deserved better, but that... wasn't constructive. His parents had done the best they could and David knew he rewarded them poorly -- he hoped to change that now that his mind was his own. Oliver's New Zealand accent chiming from the coffee machine being the perfect reminder of how he could make the world a better place in their honor: saving him and finally putting an end to the Shadow King. Somehow.

As for his dreams, David looked at Syd an expression that mirrored exactly what she thought -- a thought he didn't need to read. The blatant expression of 'are you sure you want to know?' was clearly writ on his face. "Rain-check on that one," he offered as a compromise. If she really did want to know, he'd try his best to explain. For now: where.

Now she was the one reading his mind, offering to come with without him asking. That had him smiling at her with the utmost fondness and appreciation. "They're buried in Plattsburgh in northern New York." As a family they had lived farther west, but David had no intention of going near that house for a good, long while now. Looking to the coffee though, he couldn't help but tip his head and wonder. "Wonder how well I'll do teleporting us and coffee..." Because he had no intention wasting time driving, thank you.

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Having not had the same sort of luck with therapists or doctors, Sydney hadn’t been able to dive the same. And there was the fact that, with her at least, it was a lot of professionals trying to tell her that her ability was all in her head – an excuse to explain away her deeply rooted fear of intimacy and the trauma that had happened to her. Her mental issues were defenses…poorly made and managed perhaps, but defenses all the same. But that was the thing about human nature and mental health. It would never be one size fits all.

She let him be angry; he should have been angry, even if it was for just that moment. Nodding her agreement, angry for him, Syd found even more reason for her resolve to take down D3. Yes, they would have to play nice now. She had been reminded of that more than a few times over the past couple of days. But afterwards? Right now she was still feeling all-bets-off. Hopefully Clark would see reason by then. He could be helpful during that point. If the Eye could turn from his own kind to D3, who was to say that the opposite couldn’t happen?

She met his expression – and her own doubts -- with quiet defiance, the answer leaning more toward yes than it was no. She’d been inside of his head and seen the monsters, the real one with yellow eyes and the memories that acted like them, that needled at David like his own little devils and their white-hot pitchforks. She could handle his dreams. Possibly. Maybe. She’d like to try. So, a half smile appearing, she accepted the compromise with a nod. “Raincheck accepted.”

Hair was pushed out of her face and Sydney returned the warm smile. Obviously, she wouldn’t let him go it alone! This was serious and, if she were ever to meet up with her mother again, she would want David right by her side as well. And, on a far second and much less important note, it was an adventure. She had a hard time turning those types of things down. Having turned to busy herself with filling the second cup, she stopped and stared when he mentioned….teleporting? Say what now? “…How are we getting there?” She fully expected to borrow a car and take a road trip. She had seen what he did with Cary’s scanning machine; everyone did. It was hard to miss a very large tube type thing in the middle of the garden area outside. But people-moving? “You can teleport us? All the way there?” She arched an eyebrow, amusement beating her trepidation. “So that’s what you do when you can’t sleep. Visit other girlfriends.”

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 03:58 pm UTC (link)
Just because Syd had seen some of the worst in him didn't mean she needed to keep seeing it. David knew she could handle it, that much had been proven, but being able to handle it and actively wanting to know how deep the rabbit hole went were two very different things. Besides, David himself was still trying to process his dreams -- he remembered them often, they were always vivid, always alarming and troubling. It seemed that the removal of the psychic parasite in his brain hadn't changed that quality. Not once had he truly been able to understand them.

But he would keep trying, and if he wound up rambling an incoherent mess of jumbled junk and emotion to Syd in an attempt to explain? Well, at least he'd attempted.

Her response to teleportation had him smirking and shrugging. "That's how Amy and I got to our old house from that District 3 facility." A beat. "That's also how you got left alone in that memory box when Melanie and Ptonomy were rummaging around in my head." After going from the facility to that old, now abandoned house in the country, David was confident he could replicate it. At least with a person. The state of Cary's MRI machine... well, he'd be a little stressed at the time.

On the matter of old girlfriends his eyes went wide in a look of dramatic innocence. "Hey now, you're the last one to go talking to any of my exes, thank you very much." Another regret -- how much grief he'd dragged Philly through. Thank God she'd had the sense to get out while she still had a chance, before he hurt her any more than he already had.

"I've been spending my early mornings doing what any respectable person does," he began then, letting that comment linger in the air for a long moment. "Looking up sheet music to play on the piano. Plus the banjo, because now I'm curious." That had been an unexpected twist his own mind had thrown at him.

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 05:05 pm UTC (link)
Syd watched him wide-eyed, recalling how she had been left alone and really only now understanding how it was that he and Amy got away. It hadn’t mattered at the time, they were safe and the cavalry had been on the way. But now, as she was able to really stop and think about it, things just made so much more sense. How did things that shouldn’t make sense at all end up doing just the opposite? There was the upcoming question of how exactly they’d be able to teleport. She suspected that he’d have to hold on to her, but how? Her scarf was in her pocket, along with an actual hairband, two staples that went with her wherever she went. She wondered if that would be enough. Or there was the jacket. The sleeves were long enough for him to grab on without touching her hand. Because switching mid-transport just gave Sydney heebie-jeebie thoughts of accidentally splicing them both in terrible manners.

That question would be asked in a second. Because she had the grace to look embarrassed when he mentioned Philly. “We needed information.” And she was curious about the ex. It had been her pressing Philly, even when Ptonomy was trying to end the conversation. She tried to wave it off, ignore it, but there were times that a more proverbial monster – a green-eyed type – visited Sydney. “She seemed nice.” After all, it was Philly who had tipped them off about Division 3 watching. And how Lenny wasn’t exactly what she seemed. Because Lenny was Benny. That was still a mystery to the blonde woman. Lenny was real, as real as she or David was. She saw her. In Clockworks before all of this had really started. She saw her, and she put her in the wall. So how had it been that Lenny took over Benny’s parts in memories? She wasn’t sure if she’d ever fully understand.

Pulled right out of too-deep and slightly morbid thoughts, David earned another look of amusement and amazement. “Very respectable things, yes. Your wrists might thank you too.” Her own pause. “And Kermit will be very proud.” She smirked, and then took a breath. Hey, Syd. How’d you spend your morning? Oh, you know. My boyfriend teleported us to Upstate New York. No big.

She took a drink of coffee and then placed it down, pulling the sleeves down over a hand and then offering him the floppy part. “Good thing I put on a jacket.”

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 06:24 pm UTC (link)
Amy, Melanie, and Ptonomy had all been unwilling participants in his teleporting activities. The latter two, well, David himself hadn't been aware of what happened, leaving poor Syd behind in that weird glass box dedicated to all that 'memory work' stuff. At first David hadn't consciously done a damned thing, so he'd refused to believe it was him. Right up until he started truly accepting that yeah, okay, he could do some crazy shit with his mind. Maybe teleporting wasn't entirely otherwordly -- it was just another form of matter manipulation, moving matter from one place to another.

He hadn't been touching anyone either, proximity seemed to be enough in both instances, much like with the astral projection he'd done with Sydney, breaking more of Cary's equipment in the process. David suddenly realized just how much of Cary's things he'd broken. Yikes.

"It's okay," he said quickly in response to the explanation and look of embarrassment. "I get it, I do." It made sense to speak to her, to learn what they could. Dire circumstances and all that. "She was nice," David added softly, frowning a little at himself. "Nicer than I deserved." She'd helped stabilize him, but he'd always kept her at arm's length, never fully trusting her with any part of himself. She represented normality, the kind every doctor told him to strive for.

That was entirely where she and Syd differed. While Philly represented something he could never be, an act of perpetual pretending, Sydney represented everything he could be, everything he should be, and drove him to actually better himself rather than his ability to act and conform.

"Well, as soon as he's proud, my life will be complete." Kermit, the wise Frog Sage of Old. David would dedicate a song just to him.

Laughing softly at the offered sleeves, he took them up and tugged a little, swinging their arms playfully. "If only for the chill. I don't need contact to take us where we're going." And then, meeting her eyes earnestly, he added: "You're safe, I promise." He'd never let any harm come to her, certainly not due to his own powers. He'd rather unmake himself from reality.

Keeping hold of the sleeves for that extra anchor though, he wanted to give her something to keep steady as everything around them began to grow a little brighter. Brighter, smoother, then fuzzier, a blur overtaking every detail but the two of them until everything in sight was a complete white-out.

One second inside Summerland, deep within the heart of a forest, the next, out in the open in sunny Plattsburgh. The brightness gave way to a bright, cloudless sky that could only be seen in sparsely populated, low-industrial areas like this. It was the very same clarity that drew his father out to this part of the state to begin with. Often clear, no matter the time of day. Clear and quiet.

It was a stark contrast to the echoing of Summerland's kitchen dining area, the sudden openness expanding all sound. The slightest, ocean-tinted breeze rustled what remaining leaves there were upon the trees, most having fallen in the mid-autumn. It was an almost picturesque little place they'd arrived: a gravel path leading up to a large, looming gate, doors opening to the small cemetery within.

Letting the sleeves of Syd's new jacket go, David took it all in and drew a deep, calming breath. "Seven years," he murmured, kneeling down to pick up a few stones from the path. Once standing again, he toyed with them in his hand, dropping most until one remained in each palm. "Seven long-as-hell years since I was here last." It looked exactly the same. Well, maybe the tree they were next to was a little bigger than he recalled. Of course, he'd also been more than a little high last time -- a drug addled state being the only state he could bear being here in. Back when it housed only his mother's grave.

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 07:30 pm UTC (link)
There was a particular look that she gave David when he mused that Philly was nicer than he deserved, head tilted down slightly to the side and eyes staring up at him like ‘don’t even start that.’ Whatever had happened, whatever mistakes were made, were just that. Mistakes. Just because you fucked up didn’t mean that you didn’t deserve kind people in your life. But she nodded as her arms shook with his swinging, smiling before staring at him again.

“I trust you.” And she did, which was definitely strange. Not because he was himself, but because she was herself. All these years refusing to trust others, or only allowing herself to trust them so far, it sometimes took her off guard when she did trust them. There was never a moment, never a memorable decision of ‘yes, this person is trustworthy,’ just Syd stuck her neck out for them more. Or tried harder. And then, when she least expected it, she meant it when she said that she trusted them. Syd looked almost surprised that she meant it so whole-heartedly, but it was what she said and she was sticking to it, dammit. A smile appeared when he kept hold of the sleeves, comforting, which was good because the whole process was a little discombobulating.

Discombobulating, but not unpleasant. She had expected to feel something, like a whoosh of air or a tingling as her particles came apart to reconnect again. Like that tv kid in Willy Wonka. But no, just the blurred surroundings and bright light. Her eyes ended up shut because of it, though it had helped to focus on his hands where her hands should have been, and when Syd opened them again, her mouth dropped ever so slightly. They were definitely not in Kansas anymore. She was still wrapping her mind around that, even as David released his hold and picked up the rocks. Seven years. Syd imagined that version of him, big-haired and wide-eyed, trying to deal with all of this and not knowing how. But then she took a breath as well and looked back at him with a small, encouraging smile and gentle reminder. I’m right here.

With that, she let him take point. For this, today, they had all the time in the world.

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 08:09 pm UTC (link)
Despite the look, David knew it was true. Who he was now compared to who he was then? They were very different people. Before he got his act together, he hadn't been a good person back then. He treated everyone else as poorly as he treated himself. He stole, he took what he stole and sold it for drugs. He hurt people. He hadn't deserved anyone in his life anywhere near as good as Philly. How they ever managed to be together for as long as they were...

Especially when she didn't trust him. Not like Syd did. The strength in her statement brought a sense of peace and tranquility in David unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. To be trusted like that? It was an unearthly feeling, above and beyond anything any of them could do as mutants -- it was above their powers, above their capabilities -- it was vast and all-encompassing.

And David would never let it falter.

That confidence made it easy, a smooth and quick transition from there to here without even breaking a sweat. Her being there only continued to help, her comforting smile was all he needed to nod, accept that they were doing this, and lead the way.

David could remember that day with relative clarity, walking the cemetery path. He could practically see himself, a ghostly projection of his wild-haired, wild-eyed self appearing for just a few moments. He didn't bat an eye at it, merely followed the same path, walking slower than the fluttering vision did before it disappeared entirely as it turned left. North-facing cemetery. His mother had been buried to the left.

He remembered the plot next to her being empty.

A few steps more and there they were.

David stopped dead in his tracks, reading the messages on each, remembering the first, but never having seen the second, his eyes lingered on it.

SOPHIA L. HALLER
Loving wife and mother,
returned to the Earth.		 RICHARD J. HALLER
Devoted husband and father,
returned to the Stars.

Atop each headstone was a small stone, much like the two he carried now. David managed the smallest of smiles, albeit one that was barely there, a world of emotion rushing through him. Knowing that Amy had been here, had visited recently? It helped. It soothed the ache and sting just enough to allow him to set the stone in his left hand atop the other on his mother's tombstone, stacking them, and do the same on his father's.

Stepping back, he got to his knees just to... take it in.

"My father always said he and my mom were like the old Greek myth of Gaia and Ouranos," he explained, starting to reach out to touch over the letters underneath his father's name, but stopping short and dropping. "Their passions made them the Earth and the Sky." Primordial gods that birthed the Titans, which in turn birthed the Olympian gods everyone knew. It was their father's idea to etch that into her tombstone. David was glad Amy had been there to make sure their father's matched.

His eyes were burning. Anger and upset, the pain of loss, everything. God, everything was welling up, screaming at him. Pushing and shoving. Static electricity through his veins, screeching in his ears. Insects crawling on the back of his neck.

"I should've been here," he muttered darkly, voice low, his hands balling into fists. "Should've been here."

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-07 11:21 pm UTC (link)
While she walked alongside him in thoughtful silence, Syd fell just stepped back when they reached the pair of tombstones. Her hands came out of the sleeves, neatly but awkwardly folding over one another in front as she watched David. She didn't understand loss or grief, not on this level. Her father left when she was four, still too young to truly apply any memories to the man. And her mother was still alive, though she hadn't seen the woman for a year..almost a year and a half now. She should probably give a call, let her mother know that she was still alive anyway. In the proverbial way, since Mama had no idea the shit she had been getting into.

The headstones were beautiful sentiments, but it was the story that got to her. They loved one another, all of them, and it just..hit Syd. She didn't realise that tears had appeared until they slipped down her cheek. "You should have been here." Syd agreed quietly, kneeling on the ground beside him. But something was...off. Something was very off. The air was electric, and smelled somehow coppery. She looked around, frowning and trying to figure out what was going on.

"David.." She trailed off, but was looking at him in concern now. "David." His name was gently repeated to try to get his attention, because she had a feeling that the uncanny atmosphere was somehow connected to his emotions.

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[info]xgene
2017-04-07 11:43 pm UTC (link)
He'd been trapped. Held against his will in that stupid hospital. Up until then, after the first month, David had been there willingly. He was a junkie, a schizophrenic nobody who caused more harm than good, one who tried to kill himself to get rid of the waste. Yeah, maybe he belonged in a goddamned loony bin. But he was still a person, he still should have had the chance to see his father, had a chance to go to his funeral. He should have been allowed to mourn rather than just having his dosages tripled so he felt nothing at all.

David remembered last year, how he'd lashed out at the doctors, lashed out at everyone who came near him. It'd taken six orderlies to pin him down, drug him up, and left him in isolation for however long it took for him to stop screaming. The disorientation, disjointed sensation. The leaps from despair to rage, the sound of Lenny banging on the locked door between them, practically ripping his own hair out.

Trapped. Unable to grief, only to scream and rip and tear at himself until more drugs were pumped into him. Trapped. Then nothing, no strength to move, no strength to scream. Trapped. Lost in his own, nonsensical thoughts, like dreams but worse -- dreams that made you physically sick.

The rocks atop the tombstones began to vibrate, the space around them beginning to streak, as if rain were pouring and slicing out the details in long, harsh lines, but the sky was still blue, still clear. David didn't hear Sydney at all, could barely recognize anything beyond his father's name, engraved and still-sharp, without over seven years of wear and tear on it from the elements. From the storms that would come from the ocean. From the salt in the air.

Salt and metallic. Streaking. Crackling. David pushed himself to his feet suddenly, hands wringing in his hair, pulling and tugging. A scream of frustration burst out as he stepped away from the graves. Eyes closed tight, he shook his head, kept pulling. Should've been here. He should've been here. Trapped. Physically. Locked in a room. Drugged. Trapped. Emotionally. Unable to mourn. Unable to grieve.

The details of the world washed away like paint on a canvas being drenched in water. Every color lost its hue, blending into something muddy and grey. David kept walking away from the grave, shook his head, lost in himself, unaware of anything around him. He kept walking, kept tugging at his hair, muttering to himself, words too fast to be coherent -- word salad.

And then a voice came through, clear as anything, sharp.

The words didn't make any sense, but their clarity snapped him to attention, hands dropping as the world came swiftly back into focus.

Hair a mess, eyes wild, he looked right to Sydney and then back in the direction of the voice. There were people gathered around his father's grave... his coffin. The voice, the words he was speaking... Hebrew. A rabbi. David's brows furrowed, shaking his head again. No, no, this couldn't be real. This had to be a delusion. It had to be. That was -- how could it -- that was his father's coffin, not buried yet. That was Amy, standing with Ben... people his father worked with, friends. All gathered around, all listening.

His dad's funeral. Robert Haller's funeral.

Eyes even wider, desperate, still burning as the tears threatened to fall, he looked to Syd, wordlessly imploring her to confirm --

Is this real?

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-08 12:28 am UTC (link)
Now would have been a fantastic time to have the ability to touch. She wished there was a way that she could toss them both into the safe pockets of the Astral Plane, to hold on and let him rage with the feeling of physical -- metaphysical -- support. Sydney stood up, following quickly. "David!" She tried to get through, cut through the noise. David!

And then, for Sydney, the rest was silence. And as if she was staring at the world through a waterfall, hazy and blurred. She was submerged in water and staring at the world from underneath. And then, someone pulled her out.

Noise returned, but it was far more noise than it should have been. More people than she had seen when they first arrived -- though any more people than she and David were more people than originally observed. Staring at the crowd and frowning, she had a thought to go over there and give them a piece of her mind. In fact, she was starting to march over right then. Until she saw...Amy?

Her head whipped over to David, wide eyed as well, and mouthed precisely what she was thinking. What the hell just happened? Did they --

"David," she whispered, trying to sound calm as she came up to stand beside him. "Why are we at your father's..?" She couldn't finish it. They were at his father's funeral. A year ago. Hand went into her pocket, fishing out the scarf and already gripping tightly on her side.

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[info]xgene
2017-04-08 12:50 am UTC (link)
David's eyes swapped between Syd and the gathering multiple times. What the hell just happened? He didn't know. He didn't know. This couldn't be happening, couldn't be real. It was... some kind of projection. Maybe he'd just thrown them into the Astral Plane by accident and he was pretending this is what his father's funeral looked like. It was like Oliver said, you could make yourself a kingdom, make yourself anything at all, but it wasn't real.

And yet, wouldn't some part of his mind have to know Hebrew to make someone speak it, even in the Astral Plane? Apart from a few token phrases and words, David didn't speak a lick of it, and the rabbi was going full-force without stopping. It wasn't gibberish made up to sound like it, it was the real deal.

"We can't be," he whispered, shaking his head, eyes back on Syd, hand immediately going for the scarf for them to have some kind of connection. His instinct from there? Backing away. Tugging for her to follow, he made more distance, distance enough that no one would notice them outright. Especially not Amy. There was this sick feeling in his stomach that if she saw him... it'd be bad. Very bad.

The sky above was different, overcast. There was a more severe chill in the air and no leaves were left on any of the trees. It was the same place, but different. Everything just shifted enough to make his skin feel like it was crawling -- the charged feeling was gone, replaced instead with this sickening dread that he didn't belong here.

And the crowd? They were all...

"This is real," he muttered, horrified. "They're all real." He could hear their thoughts. All there, all a chaotic haze in a group, but there all the same. The horror only compounded in that moment as his eyes returned to Sydney once more. "This can't be a thing. Can it? Time travel? Really?" No. It couldn't. And yet, they were staring right at it, thrown right into the deep end of 'one year ago' like it was nothing. Like it was totally a thing that could happen!

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-08 01:13 am UTC (link)
"Are we on the Astral Plane?" That was her next question, asked in a whisper that was spoken between grit teeth. It didn't occur to her that in order to so perfectly recreate the Hebrew that the Rabbi spoke, David would have to be fluent in it. Then again, it hadn't occurred to her that he might be fluent in it at all, having just learned that he was Jewish a few days ago.

She followed, head tilting even as she did. If he was moving away, hiding, that must have meant that he didn't think they were on the Plane. She looked around then, particularly up in the barren trees. The birds stopped. There were still birds just a few minutes ago, likely stopping for a break during their migratory pass. But there were no birds now.

"Impossible things happen every day." She said quietly, still looking up at the sky. Finally her head dropped level, bringing her gaze on him. "I think we're going to have to stop thinking impossible with you, dear." The smile was small and rueful, but there all the same. Her attention turned toward the gathered group, but then flickered back to David curiously.

"Do you want to go over there?"

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I
[info]xgene
2017-04-08 08:05 pm UTC (link)
It'd make more sense if they were on the Astral Plane. It'd make more sense if this was a delusion. David had been very accepting of the whole 'having powers' thing, considering years of so-called schizophrenia, along with the whole the pedestal Melanie seemed to place him on. Hearing the words 'you might be the most powerful mutant alive' was a lot to handle. Hell, even Syd saying that if he could learn to control his abilities he'd be a badass? Okay, fine. He could accept some of what they were saying considering what he'd done.

But time travel, time travel. That seemed... too much. How was it possible for anyone to have that kind of power? Forget the telepathy, the telekinesis -- time travel alone was a hell of a thing. If a guy like him could go back in time and punch Hitler in the face, throw him in a river with a concrete block on both feet? It was too much power.

It wasn't right.

Then again, it wasn't right that any mutation would force someone into total isolation because their power caused them to swap bodies with skin-on-skin, not to mention any other contact to feel like fire ants crawling on their skin. There it was -- that old anger, that old sense of fury and rage at any higher power.

It wasn't right.

And yet, here they were. It was real, Syd saw it too. She was right here with him, telling him to stop thinking about impossible. It was too much, this was too much power to trust to a guy like him.

But... this was where he'd been wanting to be, finally getting a chance to say goodbye. He'd seen Back to the Future though, time paradoxes had to be a thing. A solar-system collapsing thing. Which was a thought that gave him pause when Syd asked if he wanted to go over there. At first he looked at her, ready to protest. Amy and Ben both knew he was in Clockworks right now, seeing him here would screw that up, it'd mess with time. He couldn't.

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II
[info]xgene
2017-04-08 08:06 pm UTC (link)
But before he could stop himself, David was looking back at the gathering. Looking back and walking towards them. Maybe if he was quiet, as long as they didn't see him. Stay around the outskirts, stay quiet. Look like any other guy, look like he belonged, then maybe they'd never know he was here.

At the fringes of the group, he could hear the rabbi begin to speak in English -- reading off a list of his father's accomplishments, asking those in the group to share their stories of Robert Haller, to celebrate his life. It was Amy who spoke first, her voice high-pitched and strained. She spoke of how optimistic their father was, his energy always a bright beacon, something almost infectious about it. She talked about how deeply he'd loved their mother, but that he'd never lost his ability to love or lost a single ounce of his brightness in continuing to be their father. When she mentioned David, she spoke of how he wanted to be here today, but couldn't, and swiftly quieted sharply cutting herself off as her eyes fell to the ground, Ben's arms wrapping around her.

To the right, a tall man spoke, someone David had seen a few times, a co-worker, someone who worked at an observatory. "I remember, decades ago now," he began, voice even, "Robert referenced a conversation he'd had with his son during one of their outings to observe the stars." David stared at the man, still holding (white-knuckled) onto the fabric between himself and Syd, transfixed. "Something David had said, about how the stars spoke to him -- Robert had been so driven by the answer. I never pressed for details, but it always kept him going, kept him pushing for more answers, pressing for deeper research to unravel the mysteries of the sky."

The man shook his head, smiling fondly. "That one conversation is without a doubt the only reason any of us had our jobs for so long. Robert always pushed, was always... yeah, inspiring with that energy, that passion to know more. The world's a darker place without him."

A few others chimed in, offering words of agreement and other fond stories, happy memories. David had no idea when he'd started crying, tears falling freely as he watched and listened, stunned... and relieved. He was here. Like he always should have been.

And when the ceremony was over, his father's coffin lowered into the grave, people beginning to leave, none of them looked at Syd or David. Even Amy seemed to disregard them. A distinct hum in the air, like a moth's wings against glass, sounded when her eyes grazed over them, smoothly continuing without seeing them. David didn't notice, unable to take his eyes off the grave before him. As everyone else left, the grave to be filled in peace and solitude, he just kept staring.

"The smartest guy I've ever known," he started softly, barely managing to draw in a deep, shuddering breath. "And the only one who was never afraid of me, even at my worst." How anyone could've been so brave when dealing with a raving madman in front of them. "The world really is a darker place without him. Without both of them." His eyes glanced at his mother's grave. "People of quality." It's a wonder he hadn't figured out he was adopted all by himself.

"I miss them." God did he miss them. For all that they'd filled his dreams the last few nights, he still had trouble seeing their faces in them. Still had trouble recollecting anything good, only flashes of the hell he'd raised. Memories mixed with random garbage his subconscious decided to throw in, a subconscious filled to the brim with anger and self-loathing. Why was he still alive when two, far better people were in the ground?

It wasn't right.

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-08 08:59 pm UTC (link)
She had half a mind to encourage him closer to the group, a clear and fairly sound reasoning already formed in her mind to give to Amy and anyone else who might have a question. Time paradoxes be damned. What was the worst that could happen? He was already born and grown, so no possible fade-aways. However, as it was, David moved closer to the outskirts of the group. And where he was comfortable, that was where they'd stay. She observed the crowd, solemn in her actions as they were in their own.

Syd listened, giving a gentle tug to her side from time to time in -- right now, what felt like -- a poor replacement for holding his hand or giving him a hug. She smiled at the stories, finding herself tearing up for a man she had never known, and even laughed quietly when it was revealed that David had been an inspiration to an incredibly inspirational man.

Attention returned to the crowd when they began to disperse, vigilant in protecting the grieving man beside her. Also, it would be more difficult to explain why they were off in the shadows instead of amongst the others. But no one saw them, even when she was sure that they would be caught by Amy. That was..odd. Which was beginning to become a daily vocabulary word. She turned toward David, mouth open to ask about it, but fell quiet when he spoke. "People of quality," she agreed, believing that his mother would have been just as lovely. "People of strength, who found inspiration in their son and gave strength to him as well." When he used it wasn't the point, the fact that he did at all was something to value.

"I know," she replied quietly. "But they're somewhere, and probably pretty damn happy that their son is getting better." No belief in a specific god, but energy didn't die. It just converted itself. That was science. So they were out there, somewhere, rooting for their pretty impossible kid.

Giving another light tug, she just stood there, letting him take in whatever it was that he needed to take in. It was a long time coming, and she didn't want to fuck it up.

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[info]xgene
2017-04-08 09:49 pm UTC (link)
The tugs did help -- they weren't hand-holding or hugs, no, but it was enough with Syd. It was what she needed to be comfortable and David was okay with that. Getting a reminder that she was there was more than enough, the reminder that he wasn't alone here, hit hard by emotions he'd been denied once and was suddenly allowed to feel in the moment, rather than weeks down the line and from a distance. From a place where he was still a little numb from the drugs, still isolated, still trapped.

He wasn't trapped anymore. Here he was free, free in a way that was bizarre and more than a little unbelievable, but for all that David didn't feel he deserved this kind of power, he'd gotten this one chance and he wasn't going to think light of it. It was the chance of a lifetime, a do-over when he'd been powerless to do a damned thing the first time around.

David just wished he'd been stronger sooner. Yeah, he was getting better, no thanks to Lenny. Which just made him all the more determined to make things right, to at least put some good in this world before he, too, inevitably left it.

"I'm going to rip the Shadow King to pieces," he muttered, sniffing and using the sleeve of his free arm to clear his face. "I'm going to find a way to separate him and Oliver, and I'm not going to even give it the luxury of going back to the void it came from." Whatever darkness, whatever dark corners of the universe that thing originated -- if it couldn't exist in this world without a host? He'd make it suffer without and bleed it dry, slicing it bit-by-bit until every second felt like every year it stole from his life. Every year he could have spent with his parents, with his sister.

For a moment, it occurred to him that if he could travel through time, he could do something about it sooner. He could prevent any of it from ever happening. But then, looking back to Sydney, David realized it would mean their paths would never cross if he did that.

Eyes turning to the sky he let out a long breath. "Okay. Okay." Now it was sinking in. This was his father's funeral. "A year in the past," he thought aloud, shaking his head. "And I have no idea how I did it." How the hell were they supposed to get back? Back to the time where he could murder the shit out of the Shadow King?

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[info]_donttouch
2017-04-09 12:41 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, you will." She agreed, staring at their surroundings thoughtfully. "But save a piece for me." Syd turned her head, fierce in the statement. The ultimate ass-kicking would obviously be by David, not only because of the strength of his abilities versus the strength of the Shadow King's, but also because it was his ass-kicking to do. He was the one who had the parasite tag along for his entire life, who had his entire existence fucked up by it.

But she still wanted to give it a what-for. For David. For herself. For everyone.

"Hypothetically," her mother hated that word, "you could go back and draw it out before it's even that strong.." How he could do that, she wasn't sure. Also, with something huge like that, there would be temporal consequences. And she might not ever meet him. She stared at him thoughtfully at that, and smiled a little sadly. But it was something she'd have to accept the possibility of.

"You were staring at the gravestones..and kept repeating how you should have been here." Pause. "There." Sydney frowned in thought. "You were..really focused. Maybe focus on the present? And the feelings it gives you?"

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I
[info]xgene
2017-04-09 12:57 pm UTC (link)
David couldn't even imagine letting Syd, or anyone (but especially Syd) near the Shadow King. Thinking realistically, with no other telepaths in their group, what could really be done outside of slow Oliver down and channel him into the right place at the right time? What could anyone, even all of Division 3, every Division the government had to offer, actually do?

When the time came to it, he'd deal. He'd find some way to keep them safe, to ensure both mind and body were kept safe. But he was going to have to be the one to do the ripping, the tearing. The complete and utter destruction of a creature that deserved a slow, agonizing death, but would likely get a quick one because David literally had no chill. Story of his goddamned life -- if he wasn't on a downer to force him to chill, he had none.

Having the idle thought of preventing all of this to begin with spoken aloud had him looking at Sydney with a grave seriousness in his expression. Hypothetically yes, it was possible considering this new power developing. In reality? "That's not an option." It was selfish, in a way, he knew it was. People had lost their lives in this crossfire, people had been hurt... but David would happily accept a fucked up life and perhaps a permanently messed up head if it meant staying right where he was: with her.

No, whatever time travel he was going to be doing? It was going forward. "Typical," he uttered with a groan. "Seems to be my thing, discovering abilities when I lose my cool." What was it Melanie had said? When he felt trapped? Cornered somehow? That was his trigger. Awesome. Mr. No-Chill flipped the world upside down when he freaked out. "Remind me to look into, I don't know, meditation or something because this is getting a little ridiculous."

At that he shook his head and took one last, long look at his parents' graves. He'd make it up to them -- for every bit of pain and anguish he put them through, David was determined to pay it back by fixing something in the world. Anything and everything he could do, he would. No wallowing, no excuses.

"Fingers crossed," he said softly, eyes returning to Syd with a small smile on his face. "I'm sorry ahead of time." Because unlike teleporting them to upstate New York? This time he literally had no idea what he was doing.

He had to try though -- they couldn't stay here. So David closed his eyes, tried to concentrate. The present, how did it make him feel? Stressed. Worried. Paranoid. That niggling sensation that all this couldn't possibly be real, the terror of what was to come and everything that was at stake, the very real worry that people he cared about would be lost. Yeah, it made him stressed.

"Thanks, by the way," he offered as the world began to blur away again, ever detail shifting as if it were painted with watercolor paint. "For coming with me." It'd been a bit more of a journey than expected, but doing this alone? No thank you.

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II
[info]xgene
2017-04-09 12:57 pm UTC (link)
From watercolor to a monochrome Gaussian blur -- the world faded away before everything seemed to shudder. David's brow furrowed, his grip on the fabric between them tightened, his other hand balling into a fist. There was a hurricane of images in his head, pictures, frozen in time. Some he recognized, he tried to reach out to them, tried to grab the familiar, but like trying to grasp at photographs being thrown around by a hurricane, the first he was able to snatch was random, unfamiliar.

There was only a second's worth of dread before, like a crack of lightning, they were standing in a ruined building. The windows blown out, the damp of rain filtering in from a quiet, but persistent storm outside. A quick look around told them they were in the right place, Summerland, but that every other detail was wrong. This place was long abandoned, walls having been broken down... blood stains on the floor.

A sudden, sharp pressing on every corner of his mind swiftly assaulted David and he dropped the fabric with a cry, hands going to his head as his legs gave out from underneath him.

Eyes, peering, searching, sharp. Yellow and powerful, curious. He pushed back, his instinct to hide and run kicking in the same instinctual reaction as when Amy looked over them in the crowd at the funeral. The humming returned, stronger, more noticeable, and the eyes looked them over, disappearing to a low throb in the back of David's mind.

But it was still there. It was like holding a door against a consistently pushing set of hands. It was all he could do to keep equal pressure. "It's out there," he managed to say, eyes screwed shut as his head continued to pound. "It almost saw us, oh God, I can see it out there." Wherever there was. It felt like it was both thousands of miles away and breathing down his neck.

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(no subject) - [info]_donttouch, 2017-04-09 02:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]xgene, 2017-04-09 02:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]_donttouch, 2017-04-09 04:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]xgene, 2017-04-09 04:17 pm UTC

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