InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "red cat vs yellow cat"

Dorcas Meadowes is still alive (_dorcas_) wrote,
@ 2012-05-23 20:43:00

003 - On death
There is a gravestone in Godric Hollow that reads my name. It took a bit of research, but I managed to find out just where I was buried. Is it morbid of me to want to visit it? I'm not sure if it would bring some sort of closure or make things worse, but knowing it is there is just... I'm not even sure what it makes me feel, but there is just this burning desire to go.

On the other hand, the thought of seeing my name on a tombstone, knowing that there is a body that ~~I am responsible for being there~~ was once mistaken for my own six feet or so beneath my own feet... it is rather terrifying. I'm not sure I could make it through such an ordeal without losing it. ~~I feel so guilty.~~

Would anyone like to go with me?

[Private]
It only just occurred to me how stupid I was to announce myself alive on these journals. I should've left it go. I shouldn't have come back from Russia. It only just now occurred to me that former Death Eaters can read what I've written here, too. And now I'm trying to act all casual about it. Stupid, Dorcas, really! I might as well dig up that grave and bury myself in it, because I'm going to end up dead sooner rather than later.

(Post a new comment)

	mrsprongsie 2012-05-24 02:52 am UTC (link)
	I'll go with you, Dorcas, dear. The cemetery is not far from our house. Perhaps tea first? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dorcas_ 2012-05-24 05:33 am UTC (link)
	I think I will go in a few days, if you would like to join me. Perhaps tea after? I have a feeling I will need it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mrsprongsie 2012-05-25 02:50 am UTC (link)
	Absolutely. Name the date. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	_dorcas_ 2012-05-25 03:41 am UTC (link)
	Tomorrow. [Lily] Saturday. It has since occurred to me that it would be a better idea not to make that public knowledge. So, there is my poor attempt at being misleading. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	mrsprongsie 2012-05-27 01:28 am UTC (link)
	Great. Dorcas Saturday it is, then. I don't think you need to be so concerned about all that though. Things have changed, for the better, absolutely. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	nox_aterrima 2012-05-24 03:11 am UTC (link)
	I'd like to go along as well. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dorcas_ 2012-05-24 05:34 am UTC (link)
	If you'd like. ~~You don't have to...~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	nox_aterrima 2012-05-24 08:24 am UTC (link)
	Of course, I'll be there. Dorcas Are you sure you want to do this? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Reg _dorcas_ 2012-05-24 08:10 pm UTC (link)
	I can't run from the past forever. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Dorcas. itwillbesavage 2012-05-24 03:27 am UTC (link)
	Were barely know each and all but... I'll go with you if you want. Cant vouch much for my own company, though. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Rainer. _dorcas_ 2012-05-24 05:35 am UTC (link)
	I think I shall go in a few days time, if you would like to join. I can't promise it will be a very enjoyable experience, though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Dorcas. itwillbesavage 2012-05-24 05:46 am UTC (link)
	Not looking for enjoyment. Just protection. You should get to do what you need to in peace. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Rainer. _dorcas_ 2012-05-24 07:00 am UTC (link)
	Right, you're an Auror. It's strange catching up with everyone and figuring out who ended up in what field. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Dorcas. itwillbesavage 2012-05-25 04:14 am UTC (link)
	~~Not sure there was any other choice for me~~ What are you doing these days? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Rainer. _dorcas_ 2012-05-25 04:52 am UTC (link)
	~~I would have loved to have been an Auror~~ I'm working at a Muggle Pub. I've been in Russia for so long I didn't really know what to do with myself when I got back. I'm finding I really hate it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	maybefrank 2012-05-24 03:36 am UTC (link)
	I can see that you have a lot of volunteers already, but I'll offer myself as well, if you need the company. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dorcas_ 2012-05-24 05:36 am UTC (link)
	That is kind of you, Frank. I wouldn't mind your company one bit. ~~And I would feel safer with you or Alice there. I can't help feeling like He will come out of the dirt and finish me off for real this time.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Dorcas \| Frank \| Alice maybefrank 2012-05-24 01:17 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sure that Alice would be happy to come along, as well. We'll keep you safe. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Dorcas \| Frank \| Alice _dorcas_ 2012-05-24 08:11 pm UTC (link)
	Right then. I'm glad I won't be alone. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	mrsalicelong 2012-05-24 06:16 pm UTC (link)
	Dorcas, I think it would be good for you to go to the grave. Acknowledge the years and your youth that you had to sacrifice because of the monstrosity that was the whole Death Eater cause. And I'll be there, and I don't speak for Frank, but looks like he's got the same idea as I do. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dorcas_ 2012-05-24 08:11 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you, Alice. (Reply to this) (Parent)