InsaneJournal

Current mood:

aggravated

So it's just after one on Christmas and I can't sleep. It's probably the fucking caffeine but who knows at this point. My brain just won't turn off. For whatever reason I'm freaking out and I don't know why. I don't know why and that's making me freak out even more. Vicious cycle yeah? Maybe I just need to write something. Usually that fixes it. Writing usually solves the freaking out. Problem is I don't know what I need to write. That's never the hard part, the what. It's always the how that's the hard part. I just want to sleep. I want to sleep and not be freaking out. I want my opening shifts at Starbucks back. I want to be out of this house. I want...ah, fuck it. I don't know what I want anymore. I do know that I don't want to feel half drunk right now and I don't want to have to get up and be cheery in a few hours. Mostly, I want to be free. I don't think I quite know what that entails just yet so I'll have to work on it. But freedom is definitely desirable at this point.

I think I'm going to put some music on....maybe that'll work better. Unwind me a bit more. Fuck if I know what else to do at this point.