I am freaked out, but, for me, there's a difference between being freaked out and acting freaked out based on those emotions. If I act freaked out, I will begin to freak out and let that feeling take control. I'd rather not lose control of myself if I can at all help it. So I'm trying to be calm, trying to think logically, and have been trying to find some trace of information that might tell me what I did these past few weeks. So far, I have not found it, and, while I really do have a sense of dread, panic, and fear, I am working not to give into it. Too much information, I'm sure, and I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry I can't offer you comfort or answers, either.