Lia Rushden (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _notatragedy) wrote,@ 2015-08-14 19:17:00 |
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A proposition for the masses (Tres)
Well... okay, that sounds dirty. Not that kind of proposition. I'm not that kinda gal, contrary to popular belief, so please pull your respective heads out of the gutter.
Really, I'm calling all eligible males (or females, whatever, I'm not picky) to take me out to dinner tonight. There is a very low chance I will kiss you, I may or may not provide the best company or be a decent conversationalist, and I will consume massive amounts of food which I will then in turn expect you to pay for.
However, the perks of such of a deal for you, the acceptee, is I will provide for things like... mediocre eye candy! Also, I will most likely make fun of everyone in said restaurant (except you, dear future companion)- possibly provide a low level amount of entertainment. Finally, I will use my never ending stores of useless knowledge and facts to fascinate and impress you.
So I mean... let's be real here. Who isn't taking me out tonight? Right? Right?
On a more serious note, help me. I'm poor and hungry and instant noodles only provide one with so much before atrophy and bone density begin to break down. And would you really want to be responsible for my untimely demise? Death by sodium? Here lies Ophelia, found face down in a pile of nothing but dust and broken hopes and dreams, a most tragic way to go.
Don't let this be on your consciences, my friends. Help the needy.
Well... okay, that sounds dirty. Not that kind of proposition. I'm not that kinda gal, contrary to popular belief, so please pull your respective heads out of the gutter.
Really, I'm calling all eligible males (or females, whatever, I'm not picky) to take me out to dinner tonight. There is a very low chance I will kiss you, I may or may not provide the best company or be a decent conversationalist, and I will consume massive amounts of food which I will then in turn expect you to pay for.
However, the perks of such of a deal for you, the acceptee, is I will provide for things like... mediocre eye candy! Also, I will most likely make fun of everyone in said restaurant (except you, dear future companion)- possibly provide a low level amount of entertainment. Finally, I will use my never ending stores of useless knowledge and facts to fascinate and impress you.
So I mean... let's be real here. Who isn't taking me out tonight? Right? Right?
On a more serious note, help me. I'm poor and hungry and instant noodles only provide one with so much before atrophy and bone density begin to break down. And would you really want to be responsible for my untimely demise? Death by sodium? Here lies Ophelia, found face down in a pile of nothing but dust and broken hopes and dreams, a most tragic way to go.
Don't let this be on your consciences, my friends. Help the needy.