When your arch nemesis offers you a job, what do you do? Sell what little, black soul you have left for a heftier paycheck? Or tell them to go fuck themselves with a rusty spoon on top of a pile of burning coals? Does this mean they're actually somewhat intimidated, or they think my endless talents can be utilized for their world dominating evil? Dude, what the fuck just happened with the world... this is a joke, right? Seriously, who wrote this because I'm going to punch you in the face:
Dearest Miss Ophelia Rushden,
We here at Witch Weekly have gotten wind of your creative journalistic ventures and feel you might have a bright future ahead of you!
If you're interested in being a part of our team, please send your response by owl and we can set up a time and date to meet! Enclosed is an offer of future salary, however that can certainly be negotiated dependent upon your response.
We look forward to hearing from you!
Part of me feels like I never recovered from my last trip. Those mushrooms were apparently really something.