Party, party

Yuck @ my entire journal lmao.

My PSL journal is basically where story lines go to die. Pretty rad.

Laughing all the way to the grave at people who are butthurt over affirmative action. Especially you, Abigail Fisher who's grades weren't good enough to get into UT in the first place.

“Caucasian students receive more than three-quarters (76%) of all institutional merit-based scholarship and grant funding, even though they represent less than two-thirds (62%) of the student population.

Caucasian students are 40% more likely to win private scholarships than minority students. These statistics demonstrate that, as a whole, private sector scholarship programs tend to perpetuate historical inequities in the distribution of scholarships according to race.”
—

The Distribution of Grants and Scholarships by Race

Ten myths about affirmative action

What games are you guys in?

( This is a survey, nigga! )

I keep finding funny things :]

Ripley: Parasite, stuck to his face, blah blah blah.
Soldiers: Joke joke joke joke.
Ripley: Killed my whole crew, blah blah blah.
Soldiers: Even though we have no idea what we might be up against, we're going to joke about it more, joke joke joke.
Lieutenant: Look at Ripley's report on tape. (Doesn't look like any of them did.)

Shouldn't it have gone more like this?
Ripley: A giant fucking spider-crab locks on to your face and jams it's offspring down your throat. The offspring then explodes out of your chest and about five minutes later, IT'S THE SIZE OF SHAQUILLE O'NEAL, ONLY WITH A CUTLERY SHOP IN ITS MOUTH. Oh, and be careful about shooting them, because they bleed acid.
Soldiers....

"I like my sex like I like your dad - with your mom"

"you couldnt please a woman if you were a chocolate vibrator"

"Curiosity killed the cat, but loathsome rituals BROUGHT IT BACK."

"Getting PAID to play a GAME? Are you fucking kidding me? You give me 500,000 dollars a year, I will lay naked on the pitchers mound and allow boiled potatoes to be fired into my asshole with a pitching machine."

"I think it's hilarious how you guys went to a soup kitchen and expected to find it full of happy dancing hobos playing harmonicas. What the fuck? These people are miserable, utterly and completely. They have no hope, no future, and you expect them to act like saints?"

"World of Warcraft is like taking a shit on the floor in a gas station bathroom. Yeah, it's disgusting but that floor was already fucked up when you got there."

"chuck norris once spawned a bunch of terrible jokes in such a bad ass way that a bunch of mouth breathing retards thought they were funny!!!"

"If someone says they'll give you a beer if you suck their dick, and you suck their dick, YOU DIDN'T REALLY WANT THE BEER."

"If I saw a midget town and midget children were harmlessly hucking rocks at me with their awful 2-chamber peanut fingers, I'd Godzilla that motherfucker to the ground."

Already distraught over the death of my father, I was shocked to learn that my uncle, The Ultimate Hustler, has ascended to the crown by marrying my widowed mother. When I tried to confront him, he said "yo kid, I may have put poison in your daddy's ear but that ain't half as bad as the poison he shot up in ya mom and made a lil buster like you pop out," and I swore my revenge but he just laughed and said "nigga please, you put the 'mark' in 'Denmark,'" and I was like "alas."

WHERE ARE YOUR FUNNY QUOTES?

I changed his name from Dax Winthrop to Dax Poleska. I have no idea how to pronounce his last name. It's either Pole-ska or po-les-ka. Anyway, did anyone go to comic con or hear about the inappropriate touching that went on? Either way this entry was amusing:

Listen, I will go off if a man touches me in a way that I feel is inappropriate at a convention. Please know that I am around my fellow geeks and feel completely at home and secure. This means that I have absolutely no problem wilding out on your ass if you feel that it's okay to touch mine. Contemplate whether that handful of ass is worth a few bruises. Because I don't mind getting a few bruises or getting real loud in order to defend my honor. And you know what else I don't mind doing? Pressing charges.

Now, I fully admit that a person might get confused. You've just seen me kiss a stormtrooper, booty dance with an inker in the middle of an aisle, laugh as a reporter grabs me from behind, tuck in the bra strap of an artist, goose a fan and tell an off-color joke to a convention model. So, why am I chewing you out about grabbing my ass?

Because I don't know you, motherfucker. Understand?

More here

I'll admit that Sarah Jessica Parker was tolerable in 'Ed Wood' but after that her movie career seemed to spiral downwards until she was rescued by the TV show 'Sex And The City'. (Go on, name some of her good movies, and 'Ready To Launch' doesn't count – it was rubbish). Now, after the success of the SATC film Sarah is a big name in Hollywood and ready to bring her own creaking style of acting into new and challenging movie roles.

Or maybe she could just reprise the role of Carrie from SATC but with a different name? Yes, that'd be much easier (and lazier) all round. Sarah has managed to grip a pen between those enormous hooves and signed up for 'The Ivy Chronicles', and surprisingly it's a drama about a plucky single woman in New York..

"It centers on Ivy Ames, an Upper East Side woman who, after losing her high-powered job and getting divorced, starts over again in a less ritzy downtown apartment. After pulling her children from private school, Ames starts a business to help upper-middle-class women get their children into elite kindergartens."



I, for one, can't wait to see it. A single New Yorker facing trials and tribulations but winning out in the heart-warming end, whilst wearing some simply fabulous shoes.

Well, thank God she isn't typecast. Though with her wooden delivery and gargoyle face she'd be absolutely perfect for the title role in 'Mr Punch – The Movie'.


--

Bahaha. Seriously, what. WHAT.

From here.

E cards, the remix.

Hillery looked at Garrett and grinned as she walked over and kicked off her heals and pulled her hair pins out, allowing her hair to fall to her waist and she grinned seductively as she looked and noticed a two peace and smiled... "Humm I could wear this..Or i could just unzip my dress and wear my strapless bra and panties.." She said grinning. Slowly she reached behind her back and smirked as she unzipped her gown and let it fall to her feet. then she rolled her stockings down and looked at him. She stood there in her black strapless bra, with matching lace undess and her belly ring that had a small dimond on in the middle. With her hair to the sides she grabbed the bikini and grinned at him.. "So this? Or this?" She asked holding her suit up. Then she said ...

"Ah screw it and she ran and jumped into the giant tub. swimming over to Garrett, she wrapped her arms around Garrett's neck and then kissed him. She shiverd briefly and laughed a bit. Then she looked at him and kissed him again... "So, is this better?" She asked him as she looked into his eyes...

--

"MOODY! I HATE YOU! Did it ever acure to you that I am over you? I have moved on I suggest you do the same! Garrett is my new boyfriend now and you will just have to deal with it weither you like it or not!"

---



THIS IS HIGH QUALITY WRITING FOLKS.

VENTURE BROTHERS

Why are you plebians watching it? >:0

Brock: No, Dean, this is Guild business, your father isn't in any harm. Guild work is clean, professional. It's surgical with them. In a way they're the only organization I still respect.
Hank: And they kill clean, don't let dames get in the way.
Brock: Honestly, Hank, where do you pick that stuff up? I never see you read.
Dean: It's weird, right.
Brock: It's like he channels dead crazy people.
Hank: You think it's a cry for help?

Master Billy Quizboy: Hold the phone. Total babe alert, twelve o'clock.
Pete White: Oh yeah, I know her type. Watch and learn, Wilhelmina.
Billy: Okay, one: you're totally gay. Two: she's hot, and you're an albino. And three: you're totally gay.

Hank: So where are we goin'?
The Monarch: Towards the blinking light. [he points at a blip on the radar] We fly by radar alone. The location of my flying cocoon is highly secretive. Even I don't know it's whereabouts. It may well be floating over the moon!
Hank: Really?
The Monarch: Maybe. Or even deep below the Earth's crust.
Hank: [looking out the window] Hey, it's the Grand Canyon!
The Monarch: Or it might be in the Grand Canyon. Hovering where everyone can see it, sure. Yeah. Wouldn't rule that out. It's plausible.

The Monarch: You boys don't wanna end up in here, this place is full of fucking animals. (Hank opens his mouth) I don't mean King Gorilla, Hank. I mean this place will chew you up and spit you out. (Hank opens his mouth again) No, I'm not talking about Mecha-Mouth, Hank.

"Holy shit! You're Dean fucking Venture! Gorilla, I wanna buy my bitch back."
"Fuck you, gimme a dollar."

Dean: Toys Colonel Gentleman wishes he had when he was a lad but weren't invented yet: Micronauts, The Scooby-Doo Monster Game, AT-AT Imperial Walker, Stay Alive: The Survival Game and Which Witch?
Hank: What is that, code?
Dean: "Colonel Gentleman's good names for an imaginary friend." "Colonel Gentleman's Hollywood actresses who need a smack in the mouth" They go on and on. This is a crazy person's diary.

"You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass but you're really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup!"

Probably Zac Efron. I only noticed how often I saw him when my friend told me about a dream he'd had, in which he went to a Broadway play and Zac Efron sat behind him. He said to him, "Haven't we seen enough of you?", then opened his program, where there was a High School Musical splash with Efron's face. "There, see? Go home." It's probably more to do with his huge, angry face all over buses than on film, but still.

I was tickled pink after reading this.

Good lord. I've realized that currently I am in the least amount of RP's that I've ever been in. It feels good though because one is frustrating me and another I should definitely pay more attention to. I am in a total of THREE as opposed to being in a bajillion ones simply for the fact that one RP gets shittier than the other. I find myself leaning more toward invision RPs because I foolishly thought people wouldn't be as stuck up as they are on IJ. Oh was I wrong. It seems that for both IJ and Invision getting someone to RP with you will always be like pulling teeth.

I will persevere! I would try to move on to a different game but the popular ones are pretty much all the same and include a lot of canon characters that are white and rich and basically have the same personality traits. What's so awesome about playing someone who is just like everyone else? D:

Oh well. Godammit I WILL be RP'd with. :|

"When I go out with the ladies, I don't force them to pronounce my name. I tell them I like to go by the nickname of Kitten."



“[Long after shooting finished,] I remember my girlfriend saying, 'Why are you ...? Stop talking like that!' ... I was like, 'Like what?' ”

No, but I feel it. I'm not worried about the looks. I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. ... What did you ask me?”

“I don't know if you've noticed but I've messed up like 40 times. I'm all over the place.”

I had a Catholic girlfriend but she wouldn't, uh, share loving.

I changed my name because no one in the States could pronounce 'Joaquin' and I used to get really embarrassed about it as a kid. All the other kids in my family had gorgeous names and I got 'Joaquin', you know what I mean? So I said 'This is not good. Even I can't say it'.

It's been a year since last time I tried to give up smoking. I went to a hypnotist; we sat down and started talking. A couple of hours later, I woke up; the hypnotist wasn't in the room, but his wife was. I was like 'Oh my goodness, I fell asleep and didn't get to talk to the doctor.' And she said 'Don't worry, you talked...' I freaked out, left their place, immediately bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked, terrified of what I'd said.

That kind of fame; I couldn't have it in my life. I love that we can sit on the lawn in Central Park and I'm just one of the millions. I don't want to lose that. I'm trying to figure out the perfect strategy. And it's tough. I just want to be right in the middle.

I just have high expectations. Every time I see a movie I'm in, I go, 'Fuck it! That scene was supposed to be good, and it's terrible.'

THIS IS FOR YOU EM

Joaquin quotes
"Forget the Oscar nomination [for Gladiator]. The real pinnacle is that I'm playing an animated character in a Disney film. Isn't that the greatest? I play a native American transformed into a bear. Don't call me a leading man. I don't care about that. I'm a leading bear. I am content!"

"The minute I read To Die For, I knew that I wanted the character to have that Billy Ray Cyrus sort of hair. So I had them put in some extensions and pierce the ear. I thought this was a really ridiculous hair style, and I still do. But it's funny, in Canada, I'm walking to the set laughing about it, and I look up and like 60 percent of the crew has this haircut — the hockey cut."

"I would do one of those huge movies because I want to experience it. I think it's probably a lot easier for me to do a scene in which I'm having an intimate conversation with someone on a quiet little set than it is to scream at a blue screen because I think a giant dragon's penis is trying to swallow me. That, to me, is going to be a challenge."

"In some ways it can be therapeutic. I think when you go through a really intense scene you just feel like such a sense of contentment and calm that kind of washes over you. Ten hours and you're shooting the scene over and over again, crying or screaming or whatever, it's so intense. You know we all feel better after a good cry... Try it for 10 hours."

a quote from Casey Affleck his BFF
"I've been on planes with him, and I don't really want to look at him, either, because he sits down and drinks sixteen shots of whatever he can find and pulls his shirt over his head and stays like that for the rest of the flight."

"With Joaq, people kind of want to take care of him, because they see that he's still pure. It's like when someone has an 8-month old child in their arms and everyone in the room kind of smiles and looks at it and wants to protect it and love it, because they're all thinking, Oh God, I hope the world doesn't get to him. I hope for Joaq, more than anyone else, that he doesn't become cynical and hardened by the nastiness of the business. And he probably won't, but it's a fight. It's hard for him, I can tell."

More Kaoru GOSH.

( 105 icons for yous )

How come these people are leaving Arillius? :[