My one year closer to dying celebration was actually bigger than I thought it would be, though since we’re all in the same city I should have guessed that Dez and Dom would team up against me. This is how the weekend went:

Friday I was drug to the beach. This was obviously Dez’s idea. Hell, all of it was Dez’s idea and Dom was more the force dragging me through it all. When I say drug, I mean it. I flopped over in the grass and they were forced to drag me all the way through the sand to the water kicking and screaming. That, of course, made people look so I felt obligated to put on a better show of it. That was when I flailed too hard and bruised my wrist in someone’s grasp. Interesting times. If you ever want to see how interesting, have two people drag you while you flail around and scream I will never bow to your god while you’re on a crowded beach. Once we were settled we sat in the shade with a cooler, yeah I figured out WHY it was there in the backseat after we got there. I was convinced they were going to harvest my organs. Damn shame too, could have been interesting. Then we strolled around Hollywood for a while like we used to. Only it wasn’t Hollywood then but the streets and buildings don’t actually matter. Dex even showed up for that part of it. With sunglasses.

Saturday I was awoke at the crack of dawn. I was sleeping, minding my own business, and then all of a sudden I get pounced on by Dez screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINISTER!” at me and then he dropped clothes on my face. Since I figured my boots were next and I can’t rightly work with a black and swollen eye, I got dressed. Ended up actually worth being awake that early later on. We got Starbucks so I would stop kicking the dashboard and muttering coffee every few minutes. I tried to text Dom and Dez stole my phone and tossed it in the backseat. Him and his “NEIN!” about caused everyone to be covered in whatever the hell I was drinking. By everyone, I mean the two of us. How anyone has reflexes before nine I will never know. So we pull up to this place and my car was there. Apparently Dom was already there reserving our spots for the class you have to take before jumping just in case Dez had issues getting me there on time. What? I fucking hate mornings. I wondered why he so desperately needed to go get cigarettes at seven that morning when I hurled the keys at his face so he’d stop poking me and going on about not being able to sleep. Oh, the jumping. To celebrate my being one year closer to dying, I was plunged towards my impending death from an airplane. Or rather, we went skydiving and I did one of those backwards suicide falls with outstretched arms. Giving me a chance to tap out early and die years in advance? Best idea ever. Though when I was up there threatening to not pull the chute, I bet they didn’t think so for a minute.

Sunday I went over to Dez’s and left Dom to recover from skydiving on his own. I really think he didn’t want to jump. But he’d have never lived it down otherwise and I think he knows that. Actually, I probably wouldn’t have even said a word on that one. Hrmph. We had a vodka and horror movie marathon. Oh and he bought me a new copy of Cruel Intentions since mine was obliterated. Tends to happen when you chuck a dvd out of your window into a busy street. Now I have to plan something huge for Dez this year. I don’t think a picture will quite cut it anymore after all of that.