InsaneJournal

Captain,

As you might know, Christmas in my world is not the merriest of times like it is in other worlds. My time was spent between sitting in front of the warm, roaring fire in my father's house and trudging through the cold, wet snow to spend time and play "Santa" to my friends down in the village, especially to the Lupins'. The only thing I regret was not being able to do more to warm their day a bit more like my father could do to mine, but yes, the snowball fights Christmas morning were quite epic. I'll tell you about one.

The Christmas the year before[...] before Sirius died was probably the last time either of us had a chance to be boys. Everyone was there, and it was Peter and I against Sirius and Remus. The odds were as fair as we could make them given Peter's size and Remus' still fragile condition after the full, but I still firmly believe they were stacked in my favour. Snowballs flew here and there and we were soaked to the bone, and I don't think I will ever forget the look of surprise on Sirius' face when a snowball hit him in the back of the head. Since I'm aware that you know the set up of a good snowball fight, it shouldn't be a surprise to you that that particular missile didn't come from the four of us.

Lily Evans was perched up in a tree, her smile as brilliant as her red hair. Severus Snape, of course, was at the base of the tree, her constant shadow, but the only thing I can remember about him was the exaggerated eye roll he gave me when I called over for her to hit Sirius like a man, not a weak little squirrel out for tea. (Even then, I admit, I wasn't my smoothest around Evanses.) She swung down out of the tree and marched over, her green eyes glinting. I could see her shivering in her threadbare, patched coat even from where I stood, but she never wavered as she came up abreast to me. She told me I was nothing short of a bully and punched me straight in the gut. That was the first time Lily Evans took my breath away.

Now, I'm not entitled to ask for much, but I will ask for this. I don't know what's happening back at home with what was in store for me, but I want to know she's safe. I want to know I've taken care of her and she continues to take my breath away because she's alive and out of His reach as much as possible. Keeping her safe also means this: please, don't bring her here. Leave her out of the experiment or whatever this is. I don't want her or my Lily hurt. They can hurt me how much they like; I'll heal from whatever blow they deal me - verbal or physical.

As for my chosen Lily, well. I want to do something special for her in addition to this. I know she already has a claddagh ring given to her by someone in her family, but I'd like to give her something along the same vein. My mother hand a small ruby ring given to her by my grandfather, and it's in her dresser drawer at home. It's not flashy nor expensive, but I think it would be just right to show her what I can't say. I'm not looking to marry her or give her a promise I don't know if I can keep or even offer right now, but I want to give her something even if it's just another weapon to bounce off my head when she's mad at me. Maybe that would save me from being slapped.

Also, for the Sirius of Baby World, I'd like you to consider bringing in someone for him. He's probably the strongest man - and dog, really - I know, but I want someone that he can be selfish around and that can take care of him. I know he has Molly and I respect him for that, but - well, you know what I mean. Also, I'd like him to have a never-ending supply of tennis balls. I really think he'd like that.

As for me? I'd like a lot of things, but I'd really, really like Sirius' scarf from that Christmas. It's ratty and has always smelled of wet dog, but it was his. If you could bring that to me I'd be eternally grateful.

James Potter