|Christian Dragomir (afireinside_) wrote,|
@ 2020-05-10 20:41:00
|Entry tags:||muse: headcanons, muse: relationships: rose|
Hathozera / Team Badass
This is my headcanon taken from my multimuse blog on Tumblr. Sunshine is a dear friend of mine that writes Rose.So by now, Christian and Rose are essentially best friends. They might not always get along, and they might be mean to each other all the time for fun- but when you get to the bottom of it, you’d be hard-pressed to find a pair of pals that are close as Christian and Rose... But that’s only second to Lissa and Rose’s relationship.
Onto the good stuff. Rose and Christian are both the goofy wisecracks of their little circle of friends. Rose isn’t as deadpan as Christian, but they still both deliver some great lines of witty sarcasm - you just have a harder time figuring out if Christian was being serious or sarcastic. He is very dry when it comes to his humor, though sometimes even Rose catches him by surprise.
Christian, in this ‘era of Vine’, catches Rose watching & giggling hysterically at Vine compilations on YouTube and decides to go see what’s got Hathaway all “hot and bothered”. Eventually this ends up in both Rose and Christian, sitting on the floor by the couch (actually leaning on each other!) and laughing their asses off at ‘fr e sh avoca do‘. And inside jokes... SWEET MOTHER OF ST. VLADIMIR, THE INSIDE JOKES. Lissa and Dimitri equally agree, (in the words of Sunshine) these two must be stopped (but not really).
Later on, Christian catches Rose in the Court cafeteria (or whatever food court they have there), slides in all casually next to Rose, and in the most deadpan of tones (and facial expressions), he says “so I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties...” and Rose just fvcking LOSES HER SH!T laughing in the food court. There are tears, hysterics, the works.
Rose tries to tell Dimitri about it later when she has some time alone with him and she can’t even finish because every time she gets to THE PART, she’s reminded of it and just starts her laughing fit all over again. Once she’s able to get control of her breath again, you just hear a loud ‘GOD DAMN IT, OZERA’ coming from whatever room Rose is in. (Cue an affectionate eyeroll from her handsome Russian warlord boyfriend).
MORE HATHOZERA VINE TROPES:
Christian (while driving): ROAD WORK AHEAD... Well yeah, I sure hope it does!Honestly I could go on here but... again... in the words of Sunshine, it doesn’t matter that Christian’s the Prince Consort, Rose is the Queen’s guardian, and Adrian is an Ivashkov. When they’re all together, they’re an unstoppable trifecta of dad jokes and memes.
Me: Christian and Adrian are the croissant guys. Only question is- which is which?
Sunshine: I feel like Adrian had the croissant and Christian made it.
Me: Christian is the jumpscaring asshat.
Sunshine: He absolutely is.
Me: Adrian’s gonna be like... “I don’t know what you two are smoking but set me up with your dealer.”
Sunshine: Y U P
Me: And Adrian is then inducted into the Vine Illuminati... completing the triangle.
Rose gets Christian an avocado for Christmas and Christian just gasps like she bought him an iPhone or something. “Oh my god, a free shevocadoo! This is the best!”
We have come to an agreement that Rose is Darius Benson and Christian is Thomas Sanders and Katie Ryan (the “Hot Mess Friend Charlene” girl).
Christian has prepared a meatloaf and goes to Rose, just whispering “I smell like beef” in passing. Rose bursts out laughing.
"WHO'S THAT POKEMON?!"
Christian: (yelling at the TV screen) IT'S PIKACHU!!
TV: It's Clefair-
Rose: ALRIGHT, HAPPY CAMPERS. If you were a candy, what would you be and why?
Christian: Black licorice, because nobody likes me..
Rose: I’m sure someone does! Who’s next?
But Christian and Rose are definitely the prime source of hilarity in their little group and nobody knows what the fvck to do when they’re in the same room together. Lissa has definitely taken pictures/video of the platonic snuggling to have pictorial evidence that CHRISTIAN AND ROSE ACTUALLY REALLY GET ALONG.