1.
how do u use this stupid thing? is ther a keyboardtyping-type person around who will do this for me? preferably a female with long legs and

Hello. My name is Captain Hammer. I understand that most of you may not have heard of me. you poor, poor people. but never fear. i will show u. a Hero does not duhscrimanate between the rich and the very poor. I am a hero to all

I am looking for DOCTOR HORRIBLE. he is my nemisis nemasis namesis greatest enemy. I am sure he is behind this. he transported me here with a gun light ray thingy. he sometimes goes by his true name which is billy. do not let his akward short pastyness fool u, he is a supervillian. capable of great and horrible things. There is nothing I cant stop, tho.

I am here for you now! there is nothing to fear, my dear poorly-dressed island-people. I can help. It is what Heroes do.

(u may find me in hut #84 for autographs or heroic duties)