| How can you love me when I am ugly? Guess I can only hope.. |
[Apr. 27th, 2010|02:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lights- Second go | ] |
I guess i've been lacking in the self confidence department. But then again, when you are constantly the second choice, who would feel confident? Who would feel pretty.. Every boy I've ever liked always picked someone else over me..Joey did twice. I used to think I was good looking but now I don't. I constantly look at my face with disgust and sometimes I wanna cry. I'm getting another microdermabrasion soon. I have acne scars on my face and I want them removed. Everyone thinks I don't need a microdermabrasion and that my scars will fade..but I don't want to wait. Today three people told me I was pretty and I looked at them as if they had 3 heads. One kid asked me if there was a reason why I looked so pretty today. I said no, and that I don't look pretty. I wasn't fishing for compliments but I just didn't want to hear him say I was pretty..and he's like "So you've heard different? Is that why you don't think your pretty?" Idk. People have defiantly called me ugly before. Everyone has their own opinion. I told him yeah, and he said something along the lines of a bright star dying. ? I don't know.....Then I was walking towards my house and Austin Small said to me "Whats up beautiful?" and i'm like "Please, haha. Get outta here." & he's like "What?" and i'm like "Im not beautiful.." and he's like "Are you crazy?" I looked at him, and he's like "I only speak the truth." Blah. I wish I felt pretty.
Mono likes me and its annoying and awful. He texts me all the time..and yesterday he came to my class to pick me up and walk me to my bus. I hated it. I think he's so repulsive and he has such a horrible personality. I told him that I could never like him..he's done so many terrible things to me! He tried to sabotage every relationship I was in. Ugh. When he was walking me to my bus he was telling me Joe talks all this shit on me and says I've been obsessed with him for two years..blah blah blah. & I'm like Ok, he'll want me back, watch. & he's like "No, he won't want you back. Ever." I'm like haha okay..and he's like "You wouldnt go back to him right???" Like shut up. Everything thats coming out of your is probably a lie, like always, you stupid motherfucker. I hate him! He's a monster.
Well..bad news for myself. Looks like I won't have a job this summer. Last year a hurricane hit and all the beach chairs got destroyed and thrown around everyone..I can't even describe how bad it was. All the beach chairs were still wired up but going in all different directions. It was a disaster. & of course all our locks got fucked up..and we needed new wire..and it was just bad. So once we eventually fixed it up we didn't lock up all the chairs because A) we didn't have enough locks B) we asked my boss for locks and he said go look in the chair room..his cheap ass wouldn't buy any..so we didn't lock up a couple. & an attendant came down and saw the chairs weren't locked up and complained to my boss and my boss flipped out and said if he had new people he'd fire us all. It didn't seem like a big deal to me at all. We're guarding our lives for beach chairs for god sakes! It's just a beach chair! & I didn't think he was that pissed..but this year me or my sister didn't get letters saying they wanted us back..and they usually do every year. So my dad finally called yesterday and Norlaine said she'd have Frank call my dad and he never did..what an ass. Frank hates confrontation so I knew he wouldn't call. He doesn't have the balls to say he isn't hiring me or my sister again for the stupidest reason..and to top it all off.....Colleen applied for the Job (thinking she'd be working with me)...and she has an interview on thursday. Colleen is going to get the job, and I won't. Gee, I'm lucky. |
|
|